


We do not Own Each Other (Until we Do)

by Mercy_Wonder



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dimidue, Fantasizing, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Garreg Mach Days, M/M, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn with Feelings, Self-Discovery, Tender Sex, Top Dimitri, bottom dedue, self-fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-02-07 09:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 61,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21455527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercy_Wonder/pseuds/Mercy_Wonder
Summary: Dimitri never really thought about having sex and enjoying himself with someone else. There were always much more important matters in his mind, when boys and girls his age were discovering their attractions.At least... That was how Dimitri was, until today. Sure enough, he often watched Dedue when he was not looking, for instance when he was gardening and the sun hit his dark skin just so it seemed like he was made out of pure gold, or when they trained together and he payed little less attention to his movement, and more attention to his large frame, his strong hands, his bulging muscles.Was that... He feel himself blush harder. Was that attraction?
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Dedue Molinaro, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 44
Kudos: 198





	1. A Spark

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
This fic is the result of one time I wondered "What if Dedue and Dimitris had kind of an on-and-off going thing at the Academy?" -because we all know they loved each other too much not to do anything about it-  
So I guess, sort of a multi-chapter friends with benefits AU?  
I hope you will enjoy! :3

They will be students at the Garreg Mach Academy next moon.

Dimitri knows they all have been accepted in the house of the Blue Lions. The house his father once was the head of. He will probably be too, as the future king of Faerghus. All his childhood friends has been accepted in the same house. Ingrid, Felix, Sylvain, and even Dedue, for whom he had to try very hard not to try to pull some strings to be able to bring with him.

He could not imagine having to spend a full year away from him, when they were so close. They always had been inseparable, ever since Dimitri stood before the blades destined to hit the Duscur boy. But Dedue had insisted that he had to get in the Academy only thanks to his capacities. To be sure that he was worthy. It was never a question in Dimitri's mind. Of course Dedue was worthy of receiving the best education reserved only for the best knights-to-be. But he knew there were too many people who did not think like he did, only because of his land of birth. He feared the Duscur blood in his veins would be hated by the admission committee. And only for that unfair reason, he would not be allowed in the academy.

Still, he did all he could to help him. They studied during longs hours, days and sometimes even nights, to cover every subject that would be tested. He was glad, but not surprised, when he learned that Dedue had been admitted. He felt silly for a long time, thinking one moment that he could fail. But the thought that they could be spending the next year even closer, as classmates, without the formality of a life in a castle, and the disapproving looks of the nobles regarding their friendship made him happy, and quite impatient.

Next moon, they will all start a new life in the Garreg Mach Monastery and he cannot wait for it.

Sylvain seems just as excited as he is, though for entire other reasons. As they are both taking a pause from training with Felix in the castle's training fields, they begin to talk about the preparations for their leave, and what to be expected there.

“Maybe I will finally find a worthy opponent, capable of holding a real training without needing a pause every minute.” Felix complains, watching his two friends take a seat in a corner of the training field.

Dimitri thinks he could have gone on, but Sylvain wanted to hydrate and they were training in a battle of two against one. There was no use continuing without one of the opponent.

“Well I can't wait to meet the cutest girls from all of Fodlan.” Sylvain says with a big smile after drinking a large sip of water.

“You do know the students are not accepted just because they are cute.” Felix stares at him for a moment.

“Sylvain...” Dimitri sighs. “I was hoping you would put this behavior aside during your year of studies.”

“What?” The redhead looks at them, as if they were the ones who were largely mistaking about the real meaning of their next year of studies. “Come on guys, you have it all wrong. This is the last year we will have for ourselves. Before all the rest begins... duties, responsibilities, and what everyone expect from us at home. When we graduate, we will be full nobles. So, yeah, I intend on making the most of this year.”

Dimitri watches his friend carefully. This is the truest he spoke in a long time, he thinks. Talking about what really worries him. Having to go back home and take his responsibilities as the heir of house Gautier. It has always been a great burden on his shoulders. Dimitri thinks he can understand him. He shares some of his thoughts. He is so close to be in age to take the throne of Firdhiad. And as much as he wants to fill the vacant throne to begin his work to accomplish his long life objective, he is not sure of what time he might have for himself when he becomes king. How much time he will have to give outside of his royal duties, to spend some time with his friends as he is doing right now. The possibility to spend days and nights with Dedue, working to help the Duscur boy will probably only be a part of his past.

“I suppose you are right.” He admits, feeling some discomfort settle in his chest.

“Ah? His Highness agrees with me?” Sylvain is visibly surprised, before a glint of mischief appears in his brown eyes. “So you will be my wing-man during this year, yes?”

Felix sighs next to them and, being completely disinterested in the subject, returns to the center of the training field. He is not interested in the subject of chasing girls around to begin with. But even less if the subject is the boar prince giving a try to courting.

Dimitri can only laugh. “I don't think so, no.”

“Come on, you will have to come with me at least once. You never even flirted with any girls, did you?”

Dimitri shakes his head with a small smile, feeling embarrassed for a reason. “I must admit I simply do not understand your... obsession over that matter. Why you never seem to stop chasing after young women.”

“It's fun.” Sylvain shrugs.

Felix scoffs, still hearing the entire discussion despite his own will. “He is only after what they have to offer.”

Dimitri turns to the dark-haired swordsman with genuine confusion.

“Their body.” He spits, feeling infuriated that he has to explain this sort of things to an almost grown man. “Pleasure of the flesh. Futile and tribal. Something a boar prince like yourself should enjoy.”

“Don't say it like I'm some kind of creep. Anyone is allowed to take some pleasure in the company of someone else. It's a mutual thing!” Sylvain replies, not bothered at all by his friend's disapproving tone. “And don't act like it's below you. It's not because you have your fun alone that-”

“Sylvain!!” Felix shouts, his face bright red as he charges his friend in the optic to shut him up.

“Woop, training resumes.” Sylvain laughs, barely dodging his friend's attack.

Dimitri only watches them, for a moment thinking about their discussion. His friend's sex life. He could never have guessed it would be a subject they talked about today, and yet. Things are starting to be clearer in his mind, concerning Sylvain. Though he stays a little bit confused.

Interactions of the kind never mattered to him. He never really thought about having sex and enjoying himself with someone else. There were always much more important matters in his mind, when boys and girls his age were discovering their attractions. With no one left of his family, he had only been given the talk by one of the castle's employee, as quick as possible. He was meant to give an heir to the kingdom, one day. But it seemed only like another duty. He was never told it could be a source of pleasure. Until today.

Dimitri begins to wonder if it is something he was never told for a reason. If he should try by himself. But he frets that it would only be a waste of time, when he could do things he was sure to enjoy. He wonders if he could appreciate it as much as he appreciates his time spent in Dedue's company. But then he begins to think of him and before he can slow his train of thoughts, he wonders if Dedue ever experienced sexual relationships. Feeling suddenly much hotter only sitting around and thinking about… that sort of things, he decides he would be better off joining his friends's fight. 

Lord Rodrigue comes in the training field a little bit later, to collect his son and his friend. Dimitri and him exchange a little bit before it is time for the three of them to go home. He decides to go find Dedue. He hopes talking to the Duscur man will pull his thoughts out if his growing curiosity to discover more about the matter he talked about before with his childhood friends, and the fact that he cannot seem to stop to think about Dedue in the same position. He always was a grounding and relaxing presence to the prince. He hopes it will be enough to calm down his wild thoughts. 

Dimitri knows where to find Dedue. During the days they do not spend together, because of some of Dimitri's duties, or because he wants to train with someone else to change the type of opponent, Dedue busies himself in the royal gardens. It had taken long negotiations to let people allow him in the royal gardens without supervision, and even more to take care of the plants. Dimitri hates thinking again about this. But everyone saw how good the Duscur boy was at gardening, and no one could find any complains. He was now considered some sort of gardener in the royal palace.

It is one of the warmest moon of the year. When Dimitri arrives in the gardens, many flower are in full bloom. He has to admit that he does not know much about plants. All he can do is admire their beauty and never stop to be impressed by his friend's talent. He walks amongst the colorful plants to find Dedue tending to the flowers he once told him came from Duscur.

From where he is, Dimitri cannot see properly his expression, but he watched him garden enough times to know the tenderness there is on his face. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, revealing his strong arms and hands working with delicacy. It is always a sight that warms Dimitri. Dedue taking care of himself, doing something he likes and be without worries, if even for an instant. Dedue seems to notice his presence, because he stands up and turns around.

When their eyes meet, Dimitri smiles to him. “I can never tell you how much a magnificent works you make of these gardens.”

“Thank you, your Highness.” Dedue nods, smiling softly in return.

Dimitri watches him wipe his hands on his clothes, already dirtied in black soil after an entire days spent gardening. The prince supposes that it means that he is done with his activity of the day. Dedue bends down to pick a sword from the ground near where he was working, and attaches it around his waist as he walks to his prince. The thin sword with a blue scabbard was a gift from Dimitri, for his eighteenth birthday. Since then he always carried it with him, anywhere he went. But now, watching how not intimidating it looks, so small next to Dedue's large frame, he feels a little bit embarrassed. The boy he once rescued is now the biggest man he has ever seen.

“I think I will miss it.” Dedue admits, breaking the silence in which Dimitri was contemplating him.

The prince turns his gaze to where Dedue is looking. The rest of the garden, the plants he always takes care of, but mainly the place where he planted the flowers from his land of birth. Dimitri doesn't know if he is talking about gardening, or this place in itself, where he poured so much of his soul.

“We will be gone for only a year.” He tries to console him, but he understands the problem as soon as the words leave his mouth. A garden needs to be taken care of. Dedue won't find it the way he would leave it. “I... I heard there was a greenhouse in the academy. Well known for the great diversity of plant we can find there. Maybe you could garden there. You could even... replant flowers from here, if that is possible with those kind of flowers. I'm sorry, I don't know much about-”

Dedue turns back to him. “Thank you. I will try to see if I can bring these flowers with us.”

Dimitri nods, satisfied that he could help his friend. “Shall we go, then?”

The two young men leave the gardens to head to the kitchens, as they usually do when the sun begins to set. They would prepare themselves some tea, even though Dedue did more of the preparation, and would then sit in the prince's room to talk about their day. It is something they always do when they do not spend it together.

Dimitri loves those moments, maybe even more than to spend his entire day in Dedue's company. Maybe it is because they are in the privacy of his room, having tea together. He can easily forget that Dedue is his vassal. When they are together, in the castle, tending to tasks constantly being surrounded by other people, nobles and employees of the castle, Dedue keeps his distances and his silence. Always standing one step behind him. But now, they are sitting facing each other, looking into each other's eyes on the same level as they share tales of their days.

“I have not yet found what causes the plants to be so unwell, and I do not believe I will find it before our departure. But I am thinking of trying again with new plants in the Monastery, if I can garden there.”

Dimitri nods, sipping his tea. “I am certain you will succeed.”  
He has no doubts about it. He hopes he will have time, in Garreg Mach. And the possibility to access the greenhouse freely, even though it is known for growing incredibly rare and precious plants. Maybe it is guarded. Dimitri will try all he can to allow his friend to do what he likes.

“How about you, your Highness? How was your day? Was your training with your friends good?”

Dimitri suddenly remembers his afternoon, and more specifically, the discussion he had with Sylvain that rose so many questions in his head. Some of those questions concerning the young man sitting in front of him. He feels suddenly embarrassed about it. Even though he was not earlier, with Sylvain and Felix. He was not embarrassed when he learned that Sylvain slept with many different girls, or when he learned that Felix preferred to do it alone. Even though, thinking about it now, he wonders how Sylvain knows about Felix's sexual habits.

But he has no ideas about how Dedue... And that is probably why he could only wonder, earlier. He can hardly imagine him being like Sylvain, and having sex regularly with young women. Even though he is suddenly assaulted by the images, as if to see if it would fit. Dedue kissing passionately a stranger, his clothes off. Sliding skin against skin. How muscular he looks without his clothes on, how the sweat dripping on his skin make him glistening as he slowly moves...

Goddess, Dimitri snaps out of his fantasies. How did he come to think of such things? He tries to wave the images off, convincing himself that it is very improbable that such a thing would happen, though it seemed too real in his imagination. He never saw Dedue trying to flirt with anyone. He never showed any interest in anyone. Just like... maybe Felix, then. Maybe Dedue would enjoy himself better when alone, after a long day caring only about his prince. He would shade his clothes and take care of himself, for one time in a day. Impatiently touching himself, his eyes closed and trying to muffle his own cries of pleasure.

“Your Highness?” Dedue's voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

Dimitri is suddenly too hot. He doesn't understand why he imagines his friend in this position. He definitely did not imagine Sylvain or Felix having sex, earlier. Then why Dedue... Dedue who is only watching him with curiosity mixed with a little bit of concern. He is too caring. So kind to Dimitri. He could never imagine what he was just thinking about. Because... Because Dedue is probably just like him. He never thought about it, never had intercourse with someone, never touched himself because he never saw the interest. Both of them, they had more important things in mind than this.

At least... That was how Dimitri was, until today. He thinks he never had that kind of thoughts. Sure enough, he often watched Dedue when he was not looking, for instance when he was gardening and the sun hit his dark skin just so it seemed like he was made out of pure gold, or when they trained together and he payed little less attention to his movement, and more attention to his large frame, his strong hands, his bulging muscles.

Was that... He feel himself blush harder. Was that attraction?

He feels so confused suddenly. He is not sure, he would need to speak of it with someone. Usually, the first person he talked to was Dedue, but with him being the object of his thought... He cannot imagine himself describing what he feels for Dedue to him, and then ask him if it is attraction. He isn't even sure Dedue knows what attraction feels like. So maybe, he should ask Sylvain? Sylvain is sure to know, he thinks. But... But only the rational part of him thinks about it. All the other parts have no desire to talk to his childhood friend about all of this.

Suddenly there is warmth on his hand. Blinking back into reality, Dimitri notices the large hand on top of his, clutching nervously the handle of his cup of tea.

“Did something happened today?” Dedue's voice is only filled with worries now.

Dimitri is torn between the need to explain himself, to tell Dedue that there is nothing to worry about, because he does not like to see him worried like that. But the other part of him is too embarrassed to even touch the subject. What would Dedue think of him, if he told him that he was so flustered over such a matter. If he told him...

He manages to shake his head a little when Dedue's hand leaves his. “I was only thinking about something Sylvain told me earlier.”

“Would you care to share it with me?”

Dimitri thinks, he does not need to tell Dedue everything. He can make him understand without revealing all the things he is only beginning to suspect about himself. “Well... He wanted me to act as his wing-man, during our next year at the academy.”

“Oh... Is this something that would interest you?”

“Not at all.” Dimitri chuckles. “No, I... refused right away. But then, Sylvain, Felix and I proceeded to talk about it some more, and inevitably we talked about... intimate... matters.”

“That is what is still troubling you?” Dedue asks, looking genuinely confused.

“I realized... how not well versed I was in the subject.”

“I... see.” Dedue articulates with a voice that seems very careful to Dimitri. But when he raises his eyes, the Duscur man is occupied to drink his tea, hiding most of his face behind the cup. He finally swallows and resumes. “Your Highness, if that is what is on your mind, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I myself...”

Dedue clears his throat, cutting himself off. Dimitri find himself regretting it. Dedue was about to talk about his personal experience and he was eager to hear it. But before he can ask him to continue, Dedue speaks again.

“If you never met anyone you wanted to... It will come in time. You simply cannot rush these things. And if you are worried about the problem being the other way around, I can assure you that... It is very not. Only a blind m- Person would not be interested in… Y-You are very attractive.”

Dimitri watches his friend, mouth agape. His face feels hot under the compliment. Because it is a compliment, yes? Dedue did say that he was attractive. And these words only... They make his chest feel lighter, his heart beat faster.

“Dedue...” He only manages to mutter, casting his gaze down on the dark liquid in his cup and thinking hard about returning the compliment. But with no reasons to do so, because Dedue never voiced any concerns linked to the matter, stating his attractiveness would only come out of nowhere but his own mind. And he wouldn’t know where to go from there.

Caught in his own thoughts, he doesn't notice the light blush across the Duscur man's cheeks. “I’m… My apologies. That was out of line.”

“No, no, Dedue. Never apologize for speaking truthfully.”

The crown prince of Faerghus decides that he does not need to write to his friend to learn more about desires for someone else. If he wants to know something, he will do what he always does. Researches in the library. Books about personal relationships are not as easy to find as tales of battles, but he manages to procure himself some material nonetheless, when he sneaks in unaccompanied. He cannot even imagine asking Dedue to come with him to find books explaining sexual intercourse.

What he finds is mostly romantic novels with spicy sections where the authors gets very descriptive of the two main character's love, and some journals of women or men who found it important to report their sexual prowess. Dimitri reads some of them the same night, at the light of a candle on his nightstand. But what he reads is always the same. A relationship between a man and a woman. Never a man finding another man attractive. The only part he finds sort of helpful is the sexual awakening of the characters, when they discover their feelings and their bodies. But finally giving in to sleep, he hopes he will be able to find out more in the books he has left to read.

~~~~~

Dedue is here, by his sides. He is laying in his bed next to him. Dimitri lets his eyes roam over him, as he usually likes to do. Likes to do, yes. He likes to watch Dedue. He likes to see his body, and appreciate its beauty. In its entirety. Dedue is completely naked besides him. As is he. And Dimitri can see everything. His strong arms, his muscled legs, his bulky pectorals and the dark nipples sitting there, his rock-hard abs, the dip of his hip bones, and... He looks up and sees the light hair on his forearms and broad chest. Dedue is a man, Dimitri knows. He is a mature and strong and grown man.

“Let me take care of you, Dimitri.”

Dedue murmurs while he puts his hands on his body. He seems all too thin between his arms, under his large hands. But Dimitri doesn’t care. He feels so good between those arms. He feels nestled against his broad chest. Pressed together. How did he never think of doing such a thing before? He feels enveloped in a new-found peace, that he cannot imagine leaving. But he feels a strange feeling growing between his legs. He pulls back only a little bit to investigate it, and his observations resume. The light hair on Dedue's abdomen trace a path down, deep down, leading right to his crotch. There, he finds it. His growing erection. The discovery sends shivers all across his body and something warm pools down his abdomen. When Dimitri looks up into Dedue's green eyes, he sees him blushing, in a fashion he always only dared to dream of.

“Y-You are very attractive.”

His hands travels down his body, holding his waist, grazing the pale skin and resuming their movement, as their legs tangle to bring them even closer. Dimitri gasps and finally dares to touch Dedue back.

“As are you.” He replies, finally, as he wanted to. “Goddess, Dedue, you are so attractive.”

~~~~~

He opens his eyes to be met only by the darkness of his room. His heart beats a strange frantic melody in his chest. It takes him a full minute to recall where he is, what belongs to the waking world, and what belongs to the… Dream world. He was dreaming. Yet the images are still so clear in his mind. He tells himself that it is only logical. What he dreamed of came from his mind in the first place. But when he thinks again about what exactly came from his mind… He feels lightheaded, and a wave of heat runs through him.

Dimitri supposes there is no point in doubting any more. What he wondered since last afternoon, his dreams answered to him. He did say it quite bluntly in his dream. To a… very naked, very aroused Dedue. He knows attraction and sexual desire. For his… He doesn’t know if it is really new, but he cannot remember when he did not feel strongly about his… He only never had the words to put on it. And it seems like qualify it only made it stronger.

Much, much stronger. 

The feelings he felt in his dream followed him there, in the waking world. There is something heavy between his legs and his entire body feels warm. But he doesn't dare to move. He knows he probably should. Having an erection is perfectly fine and normal. But maybe not when it is his first, caused by thoughts about his closest friend. He tries to ignore it then. Convinced that it will go away with time. He just can sleep it off.

But time passes and he can not fall back asleep. He still has those pictures assaulting his mind. A naked Dedue. Him laying against his chest. And Dedue's arousal…

A wave of heat flows through his body and pools at his crotch. No harm could come of it. No one would know, if he touched himself. It would not mean anything and as time passes, he begins to want it more and more, only out of curiosity.

Dimitri lets his hands wonder about between his legs, putting his hand flat against his erection. The sensation immediately shocks through him. He never thought it would feel… like that. He begins to move his hand, rubbing his erection through the fabric of his night wear. The movement feels good. Heat rises inside him as he rubs more and more, the shape under his fingers becoming more solid.

But after a moment, he grows bored of it. He is chasing something. Some release, or peak of pleasure. But he feels deeply disinterested, touching himself like this. The pleasure is still here though. And he doesn't want to stop because it feels really nice. But there is… something wrong. Something dissatisfying him that prevents him from enjoying it fully.

He decides to reach under his clothes, to take in cock in his hand. He never felt it so hard, so hot on him palm. The direct contact sends another wave of pleasure through him and as he starts to move his hand, up, and down, and then up again and adopts a steady pace, the sensation pools deep in his stomach. But he is focused on something else.

He wonders what people might think, if he was caught in this position. But who could possibly come into his chambers at this hour? He never invited anyone in his room so late, except for… what if it was Dedue? What if it was Dedue walking in on him, seeing him hard in his hands. Dedue… who always takes care of him… Might he take care of this too?

He would be shocked, but only for a second. The wideness of his eyes quickly replaced by something entirely else. Something dark, his pupils dilated as he would step closer.

"Let me take care of you, Dimitri."

Yes… his name… Dimitri's hand grips tighter his erection, moving his hand faster. Dedue would say his name as he would sit down on his bed. And Dimitri would only stare back at him as his green eyes would be fixated on his hand, on his cock. Then, with a steady hand, he would touch him.

Dimitri makes a strangled noise. He surprises himself with his own reaction. Pleasure gathers deep in his stomach and invades his entire body. To the point that it reaches his hands's movements, faltering. He doesn't think he could stop right now, and he doesn't want to. There is something liquid dripping on his fingers, making his motions slick and easy and so good. But he is blocked again. Because he is alone in his room again.

So he shuts tight his eyes and imagines that the hand around him is bigger, rougher from all the manual work and yet, handling him with delicacy. Dedue's hand would easily close around him and work him with attention, and Dedue would be feeling hot and blushing too. His other hand steady on his hips to prevent him from moving, forcing him to follows his rhythm. Dimitri is panting now, his heart hammering in his chest. Dedue would look up to him and their eyes meeting, he would blush even harder. 

“Dimitri...” His voice would be deeper, lower than he's ever heard. Dimitri can hear it, his tone wrecked, shaking a little bit under his growing excitation of only touching him. And his rhythm would falter, he would go a little quicker, a little rougher. Dimitri's hand reacts the same way, pumping faster as his free hands grasp the sheets.

“D-Dedue...ah!” The moan escapes his lips as he has no control over it. The pleasure too great, rising in his body. 

Dimitri gets lost in this fantasy where Dedue would climb over him, his hand still pleasuring him. But he is still conscious enough to know that he probably should not make too much noise. Not if he moans his friend's name out loud. He puts his free hand on his mouth, trying to muffle the sounds coming out of him. 

Dedue would have the same idea as he has right now. “We must be quiet, Dimitri.” He would murmur in a hushed tone, but enough for Dimitri to be oblivious to what his moan would have done to him. To quiet him down, Dedue would not use his hand. Dimitri feels his fingers against his own lips, but instead he imagines that they are replaced by Dedue's lips. Dedue would kiss him, a little shyly, but messily. In a tangle of lips and hot breath that makes him salivate. Want it. Want it more. He would chase it, his hand movements becoming more messy. He would try and go after him, deepen their kiss, and Dedue would do too. He would let go of his hip, trace all the outlines of his body with his hands, caress him on the way to his face. He would put his palm on his cheek and angle his face just so he could kiss him deeper, breach his lips with his tongue and invade his mouth. 

Dimitri is shaking and moaning. Close. He knows he is getting so close, so impatient. The pictures in his head are satisfactory for his mind, but not his body. He closes his eyes even harder as speeds his thrusting, chases his end. His hips raises from his mattress, meeting his hand halfway, desperate. His entire body is suffering waves after waves of burning pleasure, erupting from the base of his spine, and blossoming everywhere inside of him. Overwhelming. Mind blowing. Until he cannot think coherently. Until he cannot even maintain the images in his head. He sees white and all he can think about is Dedue. Dedue... 

He comes all over himself. His release splashes over his hands, slips between his fingers, fill his nightwear and even though he did not get undressed, some of it lands on his stomach. 

His breathing calms down finally, trying to take back control of the erratic beatings of his heart. Trying to comprehend the odd mix of pleasure and soreness he feels. Dimitri lets his hands fall down back at his sides. His hand is still wet and hot and sticky, still covered in come from what he did with it. His pants are soaked as well and he feels suddenly filthy. 

Dimitri cannot believe he just... on thoughts of Dedue. He cannot believe he used him this way, used his image to give himself pleasure. Dedue, who has always been so kind, and tender, and supportive, and understanding with him. His heartbeat speeds in his chest, just thinking about him. He feels so ashamed, and dirty. 

He blames it all on Sylvain.


	2. Old and New Traces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened last night was nothing, really. Dimitri's excitation, and curiosity, experiencing his first self-induced orgasm at the though of the person closest to him... It was only because he talked about sexual matters with his friends. It must have stuck in his head. But he tries not to think about this too much.
> 
> Dimitri can only hope it meant nothing, concerning him or Dedue.

The floor is cold beneath his feet when Dimitri stands up. He leaves the welcoming warmth of his bed to look for something to only wipe his hand. The sticky fluid is still uncomfortable on his hand and he has the urge to clean himself the quickest possible. 

He finds near the table where he is used to take his tea with Dedue a piece of clothing to wipe his hand. But he feels like this is not enough. He need to wash himself, and change his pants. He looks out the window, but it doesn't tell him much about the time it is. Only that the morning still seems far away. He would never dare to bother anyone to prepare his baths for him. He can only hope that there is still a little bit of water in the bathroom of his chambers. 

There is a bucket in which is waiting some water for him. He thanks whoever is tasked with taking care of maintaining his chambers to have left him something, if only this little quantity. He takes the bucket with him and strips from his clothes before stepping into the wooden bath tub at the center of the room. He rubs his stomach, crotch and thighs until he feels clean enough. Until he doesn't feel sticky anymore. 

He steps out, putting the bucket of dirty water and clothes in a corner, hoping no one will notice until he can take care of it himself. In his bedroom, he grabs another pair of pants, puts them on and goes to sleep. 

Dimitri can only hope it meant nothing, concerning him or Dedue, before he drifts away. 

He is awake early in the morning, because of his internal clock, but at least he doesn't feel wrong anymore. He can believe today is going to be a perfectly normal day. What happened last night was nothing, really. His excitation, and curiosity... It was only because he talked about it with his friends. It must have stuck in his head. But then, he remembers his dream... 

He tries not to think about this too much. He has other things to think about, after all. He has to prepare his departure. Even if it seems to be rather the other way around. The entire castle is preparing for his absence, deciding what he should take with him as if he could not decide on his own, planning the road with the most security as if someone would want to hurt him. Make sure he is received as well as possible when he gets there. 

He really feel exhausted by all the attention. But his enthusiasm is more important than his annoyance. All dressed up and ready, he feels rather good about the up-coming day. Each day is a day closer to... 

Dimitri freezes right in front of the door of his chambers, his hand on the handle. He thinks again about his motivations. The reason why he was so impatient to finally get into the Academy. It was because of Dedue. He could not wait to spend a year with him far away from the rules of this castle. And that is still true, if he can trust the way his heart feels lighter at the thought. But with what he knows, now. Or at least, what he suspects, about his real feelings for the Duscur boy... 

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He is mistaking. He is not going to Garreg Mach only to be finally able to spend some time with Dedue with no restriction of class. He is going to learn. Strategy, history, fight... He is going to train, and to improve, to be finally able to take on the throne of Faerghus. 

Right, he convinces himself. Nothing to do with Dedue, or how sheltering his body looks, how gentle his touches are or how always carefully directed his smile is. 

The prince pushes the door, only to be greeted by the very same young man who was occupying his thoughts. He startles for a moment, before he remembers himself. There is no need to be embarrassed. Dedue has no ideas about what he thinks of him. Even though he... he remembers too clearly his dream. He remembers too clearly how the taller man looked naked and how he imagined his moans would sound. He already feels his face burning. 

“Good Morning, your Highness.” 

Dedue greets him, as if he didn't notice how hard Dimitri is burning or if nothing happened. But Dimitri remembers then that nothing did happen. Goddess, when did he stop separating his dreams from reality? “G-Good Morning Dedue. Have you eaten yet?”

“Not yet. I was waiting for you.” 

Dimitri nods, before taking the first steps leading them to the kitchens. He only hopes Dedue didn't wait for him for too long. It shouldn't be too long since he woke up, since the prince is an early bird too. He still wonders if Dedue always waits for him because he feels too uncomfortable walking in this castle alone, or because he just prefers to eat in his company. Dimitri wishes very hard that it is the latter, as himself. 

But, he is thinking about it again. He really has to control himself. 

As usual, they are served a complete breakfast before going to the training fields to train for one or two hours, depending on the time they have before they need to begin their duties. Or rather, Dimitri's duties and Dedue's duty to be always by his sides. This morning, the prince focuses primarily on not watching his training partner. He focuses all his attention on is own body during his warm ups, and his weapon during their one-on-one training. 

But it is very difficult to keep his focus. It is very difficult not to remember what he did, what he felt, all the sweet sensation that invaded his body at the thought of Dedue touching him... 

After only an hour of fighting, Dimitri asks for them to end their training. And that they could continue it tonight, if they have time after their duties. It only seems to worry his vassal, who steps closer to him to try to inspect his health. The prince feels all too aware of his presence. His body, closer to his than necessary. Or maybe it is only what he believes, since he already dreamed of it much, much closer. He feels too hot. Too hot after only training for an hour. And his face is too flushed to be only caused by warmth and efforts. 

“Are you alright, your Highness? Are you feeling too hot?”

Dimitri is sure Dedue notices it, but can only associate it with some kind of heatstroke. The taller young man puts his hand on his forehead to check his temperature, completely oblivious that it is him who is making his prince feel so hot. So hot that his bare hand on his forehead feels as if it was burning his skin, and then his entire body. The strong hand which was throwing his axe with so much power only a few minutes ago, but which now touches him with such an infinite gentleness... Burns his skin and his entire body. And yet Dimitri wonders if Dedue could not make it right by only taking him in his arms.

“Ye...” Dimitri begins to answer truthfully, before remembering the causes of this heat he feels. “I'm alright, Dedue.” He lies, taking a step back to run away from this infatuating touch. 

Dedue nods, accepting his prince's decision to stop trying to figure out what is wrong. But the frown stuck on his face indicates Dimitri that he is still worried, and is probably not going to let it go so easily. The prince can only hope that his heart will be able to take anything his vassal will try to do to take better care of him, if he is convinced his charge is sick. 

Thankfully for Dimitri, someone comes to find them in the training fields, as always. The castle's employee bows before their Highness and begins to list to him all the things he has to do during the day while they walk back to the castle. Usually, he would plan a short time to wash himself of the sweat from his training, but today the servant tells him that there is no need, since the first thing he has to do today is to meet with the doctor who is used to watch over his old wounds. 

The three of them arrive in front of the infirmary before the servant finishes her list. She then leaves them to attend to her own tasks. Dimitri knocks twice on the wooden door before entering. Inside, the doctor, an old but wise and experienced man is waiting for him. He greets his prince when he comes in, not casting a single glance in Dedue's direction. Dimitri feels the need to ask him to correct himself, but they have been though this so many times, every day he comes here to have his wound tended to, he is beginning to give up on the man. 

Dimitri knows that there are still going to be people like the doctor. Intolerant, stuck in their own heads, convinced that the people of Duscur are responsible of the tragedy that took place four years ago, no matter what the prince might say. He came to accept it, with time. Knowing that one day he will ascend to the throne of Faerghus and be able to right the wrongs his kingdom inflicted upon Duscur. He knows he will work tirelessly to make this possible. But the same people will continue to despise Duscur blood. The same people will continue to look at Dedue as though he didn't belong by his sides. And so much hostility directed toward such a valuable young man pains him. Particularly now that he begins to understand just how much he means to him... 

“Your Highness, If we may begin...” 

The doctor pulls him out of his thoughts, gesturing toward the bathtub in the corner of the room. Dimitri understands that it must be the reason why the servant told him there was no need to shower. It is a part of the healing routine, after all. He has to clean his skin meticulously for the doctor to be able to look correctly at the healing of his scars. 

Dimitri steps in front of the bathtub, but he stops in his tracks. He feels suddenly much aware of the fact that... He will have to undress. For the doctor to be able to look at the scars on his back and chest, he will have to undress. But Dedue is still in here, with him. And stripping before his eyes makes him nervous. It would not be the first time, so really, he has no reasons to be. But this body... It seems as though he only recently discovered it. He is a knight, a fighter, someone who is familiar with his body and how to train it. So he really should not feel this way. 

But he only recently, so recently learned that he could please this body. It seems as though he is discovering it under a total different angle. One that is not to protect, or to hurt. But to... take care of, to handle carefully, and... and that feels burning under the gaze of a particular young man... He grows more and more nervous as he keeps on thinking about it. What if Dedue could see it? What if he moved differently and he noticed? What if he didn't like his body, as Dimitri does his? What if Dedue doesn't like him as he does? 

“Is there a problem, your Highness?” The doctor asks. 

Dimitri turns to him, suddenly brought back from his own thoughts the same way he did before. He thinks about his question for a moment, but decides to shake his head. Nothing good would come out of telling the truth, that he is too nervous under Dedue's gaze. He knows the doctor, and he knows Dedue. They would both propose that he goes out but that is not an option. Never he wants to make Dedue feel as if he was not wanted. 

So he takes a slow breath in, to try to calm the beating of his heart, and begins to get off his training outfit. It is a simple tunic and pants made of linen and silk, to not bother his gestures. He is rapidly bare chest, and stops here. He doesn't need to be entirely naked for the doctor to check on his back, thankfully. He isn't sure he could ever stand naked before Dedue in all consciousness. 

Dimitri steps into the bathtub and sits, waiting for the doctor to begin his usual treatment. He take his seat on a stool next to him, but doesn't begin yet. 

“Your Highness, do you know why I wanted to see you today specifically?” He asks. 

“Regarding my future departure, is it not?”

“Exactly, your Highness. I wanted to take care of your wounds as much as possible before you had to leave. But once you will be at Garreg Mach...” The doctor trails off, as if he resented what he had to say.

“Is there not a doctor there?” Dimitri asks, surprised by the doctor's hesitation. He thought he heard some interesting rumors about the Monastery's doctor, all the way to Firdhiad. 

“Well, yes... But she is also a professor. And I have been told she is going to be quite busy, always prioritizing newly injured students or knights to regular check-ins. Furthermore, I heard she is a user of white magic. Not quite the same thing as the care you need.”

“I see...” Dimitri nods slowly, though he stay a little bit confused as to where the doctor wants to bring the subject. He raises his eyes to Dedue, who seems as lost as him. He only waits for him to resume his explanation. 

“You will need someone else to take care of you.” 

At those words, Dimitri's and Dedue's gaze lock once again. And the prince can already see in the taller young man's eyes that he decided that he would take on this task, additionally to all the others. Probably because of the words, that he likes to use when he speaks about his role. His role is to take care of Dimitri. The prince can only gulp, thinking of having to undress in front of Dedue regularly. And that it is only the first step of many others to tend to his wounds. 

“Dedue... is coming with me.” He ends up proposing anyways, because he could not think of anyone else to take care of him. 

Dedue steps up, as if on cue, waiting for his prince's approval to make his presence known. The doctor raises his eyes to the Duscur man, with no surprise in his expression. He did not forget his presence, for from that. It would be difficult for him to lower his guard when a man of his birth is near him and his Highness. And he really hates to leave such a careful task into his dirty hands, but it is his prince's wish.

“Very well, if that is what you want. But please keep in mind that if you find someone more... suited to this delicate task during your days-”

“Dedue will do perfectly, thank you.” Dimitri interrupts him, unable to hear more of that condescending tone of his. He finds that he has less and less patience for people speaking ill of his dear friend. 

Dimitri hears another tool being pulled near and then, the doctor begins to explain to Dedue how he has to take care of his scars. The sound of water dripping from a wet cloth reach his ears before he feels the touch against his back. The gesture is careful, as always, working with precision to clean his skin from any kind of dirt, being even more careful when it touches his scars still red. With all the care the doctor can put into his work, it is impossible for it not to hurt Dimitri. But he has grown accustomed to it by now. He doesn't even flinch when his old wounds burn him.

Then, the doctor tells Dedue to clean him to check if he can do it correctly. Goddess, Dimitri swears he can feel the difference in the touch. It is not a skin on skin contact, but he can feel how his fingers handle the cloth differently, how he passes it overs his skin with... maybe a little less precision, a little less confidence. But the careful touch is more soothing. He avoids every trace of hurt carved in his skin, Dimitri understands. But he will have to. He will have to clean his scars and hurt him, even though that is what he tries to avoid. 

Dedue works under the cautious gaze of the doctor. He soaks the cloth once more and brings it to his prince's wounds next. The touch here stings a little bit, but for some reasons Dimitri thinks it is much better than when the doctor does it. Maybe... probably because it is Dedue who is touching him. Dedue who knows him so well, and is so good at taking care of him. Dedue whose touch is so gentle and tender... Dimitri's eyes shut on themselves. And he is unsure if it is to try and stop his thoughts or to only focus more intently on his vassal's careful moves. 

“Now that should be enough.” The voice of the doctor explains to Dedue, who takes his hands off his prince's back. Dimitri is brutally reminded of his presence, and the fact that he is not alone with Dedue, and the fact that he really should not feel so good when he takes care of him. “When you are done with cleaning the area you have to spread the ointment equally on the surface of the wound to help the burning. Then there is another to ease the soreness.”

Dedue doesn't reply aloud, but Dimitri thinks he can hear the sound of his nodding. He prefers to keep his eyes closed, as if the darkness he sees would make it less real. He remembers too well how he imagined Dedue would touch him, if he did one day. But the real life, the real touch, compared to his fantasies, is so much more intense. He hears the opening of a bottle, and the sound of a rubbing. 

The next second, he feels the contact, wet and cold because of the ointment and yet, Dimitri can feel too well Dedue's heat beneath the product. His fingers tracing carefully his scars, so gentle that he almost does not feel him, but only his presence. The warmth radiating from his skin, touching the naked skin of his mutilated back and spreading into him like a wildfire. Dedue caresses his skin with such a softness, that Dimitri cannot hold back a gasp.

“Be more careful with your prince's wound, you uncaring worm!” The doctor yells at Dedue, thinking he hurt his Highness.

The words he hears only make Dimitri tense more under the touch, divided violently between the need to shut this man up and the incredible feeling of Dedue's hands on the skin of his bare back.

“I... I apologize, your Highness. I will be more careful.” Dedue says, only directed at him and ignoring the doctor's annoyance to only focus on his Highness's physical reactions.

“N-no... That is not...” But he cannot speak more. 

Dedue continue his task, spreading the ointment on his back. Each touch of his fingers make Dimitri shivers, and he has to try so hard not to move more than what he already does. He has to use all of his focus not to lean in the touch, seek out that welcoming warmth, climb against Dedue's hot body and let it take care of him. He keeps his eyes shut to gather his concentration. But it makes him more aware of all his other senses. 

The taller young man's finger hovering over his shoulders, checking if there are any scars here. Then he draws his attention below his shoulder blades. Where are the more profound wounds, that he got four years ago. Dimitri wonders if Dedue feels something special about those scars, too. If he feels as proud as him, of the traces resulting of his survival, and Dimitri's first stance as the only heir left of the Blaiddyd bloodline. He thinks so, because he doesn't feel anything for a while. Until soft fingers gently trace the red slashes in his flesh. It stings the prince's back. But less significantly than when it is someone else touch, taking care of him. Dedue brings to him a special attention and Dimitri doesn't know if he should feel glad about it, or guilty.

When Dedue is done with that area, he resumes his care for the other scars. More regular ones, Dimitri got during normal fights. The trace of a spell along his spine, the hit of an arrow at his side, a few more burns he got in his lower back. These ones don't hurt as much. And Dimitri can only focus on how appreciable the attention is. And how he tries not to shiver when his vassal's fingers reach a little low, down on his hips. The contact is quickly gone then.

Dedue reaches for the second ointment, the one he is supposed to spread on his entire back to ease his soreness. This one is much more liquid than the previous concoction. He can not make it stick to his fingers to be able to work precisely on his Highness's wounds. It's only meant to cover as much skin as possible to ease the pain. He creates a puddle in the middle of his palm before clasping his hands together en rubbing them to cover them entirely in the mixture. Then, he can get to the second part of his works. 

Dimitri feels his hands land on his shoulders. Not just his fingers. His entire hands. And now Dedue is massaging him with his entire hand and he cannot repress the shiver that runs through him. He freezes, hoping Dedue... He does not know how the Duscur man could possibly have missed it. But he notices only a slight change in the contact against his skin. It is much more careful. Maybe his vassal only thought he hurt him. Dimitri feels ashamed to let him think this, when he could never make him any harm. But explaining the real cause of his reactions... It seems simply impossible to do. 

Dedue continues to massage his back, and soon Dimitri can no longer feel pain. Any type of physical pain in his back. Maybe because he is only focused on the hands on him, how gently they handle him, contours his scars, soothes his hurt skin. The prince feels good, in a calming way. As thought Dedue's touch was heating him from the inside, directly into his core and radiating the comforting warmth through him. Really, he wonder what he did to deserve the care of a man so incredible. 

Until his hands reaches the small of his back, until he touches a little low, caressing his hips, spreading the wet ointment on his sides at the same time. Dimitri feels him holding him, right here, and is suddenly much more aware of his presence in his back, the heat radiating from his body, so close. There is a little sting of pleasure and want that courses through him. He gasps, despite himself, feeling warm. But with a totally other kind than the warmth that was only comforting him before. His face, body heating up and invaded by a sensation... Dimitri shifts from where he seats in the bathtub. 

"Ah- pardon me." Dedue immediately apologizes, taking his hands of him as though he was burning up. Dimitri thinks he might very well be.

The doctor begins to talk to Dedue, explaining him other details about how to collect theses mixtures or how to prepare them himself, though it is not advised for a beginner like him. As he explains his future task to his vassal, Dimitri slowly opens his eyes. Dedue's hands are off him, and he is in the infirmary of the castle. He has to get up and get dressed up, and carry on with his tasks for the day. As if... As if he is not going to remember this moment, the warmth of Dedue's hands on his skin, for ever, probably. 

Dimitri thinks he could do it. He really thought he could keep the same face, the same acts as before... when he never saw the interest in someone else's body. But since the day before, since his dreams assaulted him with those unforgettable images of his closest friend, he cannot. He cannot control much of his reactions to the taller man's presence, attention and touches. He cannot even control his own thoughts. He keeps on wishing they were closer, yet closer. How did he lost himself so quickly? He wonders. But he begins to think that maybe, it is not that sudden. Maybe it was something that was always here, underlying in the great affection he always felt for the Duscur man. 

“Do you feel better, your Highness?”

They are fully dressed in their formal outfits for the day, and out of the doctor's office, and yet Dimitri still feels warmth on his back. “Yes, perfect.” 

"I think these ointments have similar ingredients than the one I prepare for myself. I might be able to grow the medicinal plants needed to mix them. That will save us the trouble of buying more."

Dimitri finds himself being surprised by his words, for no reasons, he quickly remembers. Dedue has scars, too. It is to often easy to forget that this man always standing so tall and strong and protective hurt too. "You prepare them yourself?" He asks, amazed that his vassal could be good enough to prepare his own medicinal mixture.

"Yes, well… I cannot rely on the doctor to do it for me."

Dimitri feels suddenly ashamed. Dedue's tone is nothing resembling an accusation, but it reveals yet another way in which he is not welcomed by the staff of the castle. The prince cannot imagine how difficult it must be to administrate himself his own care, his own healing ointments. He doesn't think he could take care of the scars in his back, incapable to see them and treat them with the proper care. He knows his strength sometimes runs out of his control so he cannot imagine what disasters it might cause if it happened at a time when he would try to heal himself.

But Dedue always did everything alone… He had to take care of himself, without the assistance of anyone. How did he never know of this? How come no one offered to help him? Because… he never really asked, he realizes. He is always more caring about his prince. And… Dimitri finds himself wanting to return the attention.

"You can rely on me." The words escape his mouth, leaving him no time to take them back.

"Your Highness…" Dedue looks at him at though he was the one embarrassed by his attention. Dimitri suddenly fears that it might be the truth. "I… cannot ask this of you."

"Why not? Did you not just do it for me? And before you can say that it is your duty to take care of me… this was not until just now."

"I suppose I can not be of much help if I ache…" Dedue concede, starting to walk to the hall of the castle where the rest of his duties are waiting for him. "I… had planned on checking tonight."

"Very well. I shall help you tonight." Dimitri repeats, as much to confirm with Dedue as to tell himself that he just did that.

The entire day passes as a blur in the prince's mind. The duty he has are not important at all in his mind. A few minor decisions to make about their date of departure, a few letters to write to nobles. Things of no importance compared to what is waiting for him the same night. Dedue accepted his help. Dedue will let him take care of him in return, and the thought makes him really happy. 

When the time comes, after a long day of waiting, they can finally make their way to Dedue's room. Dimitri did not often go there, all the way to the castle wing for the servant's rooms. He once went to check with his own two eyes that the bedroom was something acceptable for his friend, when before that he has been placed in what resembled more a closet many years ago. It was sufficient. Dimitri thinks he will have him move again, when he will be king. As his most important vassal, he deserves to be close to him at all times. And he could not see another way to make sure of it but to give him a room in the royal family's floor.

Dedue opens the door before him and, stepping in, it hits Dimitri why it is always in his room that they take their tea. It is a really small space. In which is cranked up a bed that he doubts is even large enough for the taller man, a small table on the side of the bed where are stored a few items, and a tiny cupboard. He thinks he can spot on the table in the mixture, weapon oils and medical ointments. Dedue closes the door behind him and turns to his prince, seeming still uncomfortable at the idea even though he conceded to the idea.

"Pardon me.” Dedue apologies, maneuvering around Dimitri in the small space to reach his bed and the products waiting there. 

Dimitri lets him gently push him aside, feeling a strange mix of comfortable and nervous. He is here, with Dedue, and he is finally going to be able to do something back for his vassal. But there is something new in him, regarding the taller man. Something that remembers too well the feelings of his hands on him, massaging him. Something that suddenly register that he is going to do the same to Dedue. Dedue is going to strip of his shirt right before his eyes. He is going to be shirtless and Dimitri will have to touch his chest... 

Dedue sits on the side of the bed, and seems to hesitate for a moment. Dimitri wonders if he is going to change his mind. He would accept it, obviously. He would only be a little disappointed. But he is soon convinced otherwise when he begins to undress, taking off his shirt. Dimitri feels his heart speed up in his chest. He has to repeat to himself that it is not what he is imagining. With Dedue sitting half naked in a bed before him. It is nothing. But he cannot control the way he feels too hot. 

Dedue looks a lot like he imagined him to. With a large and muscled chest, only a little less perfectly chiseled than he imagined. He also did not imagine the occasional scars lashing his skin. He supposes that fantasies do that. But he was right on spot about the hair covering Dedue's chest. The silver hair spreading on his chest and abdomen and tracing a path down between the dip of hips, deeper down... 

“Your Highness?” 

Dimitri snaps his eyes back on Dedue's face, feeling his cheek burning. So he has been caught staring. But when he looks at Dedue, his eyes don't quite meet his. He must be dreaming the slightly darker shade across his face. He reaches for one of the bottle on the table, and pours a little bit of the liquid in his hands before rubbing them together. Only then he dares to look back at his prince. 

“I... I will only ask for your help with the wound I can not reach on my own.” He explains.

Dimitri nods, trying to shut down the disappointment rising in him when he understands that he will not get to touch Dedue's chest. He steps forward, still eager to help. Dedue explains to him that he doesn't have several product like him. He uses the same for everything. He take a little bit more in his hands, to be sure to have enough for all the front part of his body, then hands it to his prince. Dimitri takes it with slightly shaking hands. 

Dedue turns on the bed, leaving room for him to place himself in his back. But before Dimitri can move and place himself in his back, he sees him beginning his own care. Which is applying the ointment on a scar at his side. He can only watch him touch the skin here and drawing his entire attention. To his side and fingers covered in the glossy ointment. He feels his heart beat even louder in his chest, his mouth going a little bit dry. How he is taken by the desire to touch the same spot, to touch more of him. 

He pulls himself out of his daydreaming. He has a task to do. He is here to help his friend, not to eye him intently. He clenches the bottle of mixture in his hands and finally climbs on the bed behind Dedue. He kneels in front of his back, looking for the wounds to take care of as he pours the liquid on his hands. There is a bad burn right on his left shoulder blade, spreading wide to the middle of his back. Dimitri winces at the sight. He can only imagine when it happened, a day when it was so hard to run from all the fire. Where it is... Dedue must have had difficulties to take a proper care of it. It hurts Dimitri to think that he never dared to seek for his help. He hopes that starting from today, he will not hesitate anymore. 

He extends his wet fingers, touching lightly the red flesh. He can perfectly feel the way Dedue tenses under his touch, the reaction of his muscle beneath the skin. But he doesn't move, doesn't even flinch. Unmoving under any pain. Dimitri begins his task to help him the best he can to ease the pain he always holds back. He spreads his fingers as slowly as he can, as gently, even though he only has the impression of making a bad imitation of the Duscur man's tenderness. Still, he tries. He focuses so hard on not putting too much strength, suddenly terrified of not controlling his strength and hurting his friend more than he would heal him. 

Until he notices that Dedue has stopped moving. Probably already done with his part. He stays perfectly still, but after a moment Dimitri swears he can hear something. A sigh. A low sigh of contentment. This little sound only fills him with eagerness, and dims the insecurities that were growing inside him. He is doing a good job. He is making Dedue feel good. That is all he wanted. 

He continues with his work. Covering the entirety of the burn with the mixture. Then, he check for others scars but only sees minor ones, scratches and such. All the others has already been taken care of by Dedue. But he does not take his hands off Dedue's skin. He lets his fingers roams over his skin. Because it has probably the same effect as the ones used on him. Soothing product to ease his soreness. He has to spread it on the entire surface of his back. Not only because he doesn't want to loose the warmth of Dedue's skin under his finders so soon. As long as Dedue doesn't say anything, it is fine. 

Dimitri lets his hands touch fully Dedue's back, avoiding carefully his wound. He feels so warm and solid under him. He was not imagining him feeling so stiff, though. He begins to wonder is he could make him feel better if he started to do what he did for him this morning. Massaging his skin. His fingers move on their own volition, then. Running up his upper back and pressing on his shoulders. His fingers grip him tight, as his thumb begins to rub circles on his shoulder blades. 

He feels the shiver right under his contact, and he gives a quick apology. If Dedue's skin feel so hot, he can only imagine how cold his hands must be for him. But he receives no more complains, no word to make him stop, so he continues. He massages his shoulders, sliding easily against the skin and easing the tension here with the ointment on his fingers. Dimitri presses his hands on his shoulder, carrying on with his massaging and sinking in the feeling of the relaxing body against him. 

It is not any body. Dimitri tells himself. It is not anyone. It is Dedue. He is touching Dedue, really. He is caressing Dedue and tries to convince himself that he is not a creep for feeling so good only because he can give a massage to his friend. Only because he can make him feel good. Only because maybe he can make him feel as good as what he makes him feel. So intensely. So much from only the contact of his skin under his fingers. He slides his hands to his collar, keeping on with the circular movements of his thumbs. 

Dimitri is amazed by how he feels so soft against his hands. By the sight he offers him, his skin glistened by the ointment and the slight shiver running through him at every movement of his hands. A shiver he shares with him. But he finds himself craving more. He wants to touch more, make Dedue feel even better. His gaze is entirely focused on the skin there, on his nape. He feels his heart beat faster and faster, and his lips dry. He wants to kiss him. Desperately so. The taller man is radiating warmth and the only reaction he has is the need to put his lips here, where there are still goosebumps. He thinks he could maybe try to warm him up with kisses, if his hands are too cold. 

Dimitri wants so much, he does not exactly registers what he is doing. He takes his hands out of the way, letting them caress Dedue's back, along his sides to settle at the level of his waist, resuming his massaging motions. He does not know if he leans in, of if it is Dedue who leans in the touch. But their body are soon close. So close that Dimitri can feel Dedue's heat against his body, spreading through him at a high speed. Almost as high as the beating of his heart. 

His breath caresses the soft skin of Dedue's nape. The taller man shivers, and takes in a shaking breath. “Y-Your Highness?”

His murmur seems to bring them both back. Dimitri pulls back, realization dawning on him. He completely lost control of himself. Because of... He was afraid of not having a perfect control, coming here to assist his friend, but he was not expecting it to go that way. The he could feel so infatuated that... His throat suddenly feel too tight, clogged by the hard beating of his heart.

“I... I'm sor... I'm finished.” He says, deciding that apologizing would admitting that he did something wrong. But he only... Really only helped a friend apply his healing mixture. That is all. That is all Dedue needs to know. 

“Have a good night, Dedue.” On those words, he stands up, feeling the need to go. He immediately misses the warmth, but he knows he does not deserve to feel it. He does not even deserve to know it. He does not even dare to look back at him, still sitting on his bed, his shirt off, flustered, and hands firmly clasped in front of him. 

~~~~~

He finds it again. He does not want to but... he wants to. He wants to feel it and feel it even more. So when strong arms snake around him to hold him and warm him up, he lets it happen. Dedue embraces him from behind and slowly leans in, as he wanted to do. It is him who dares. It is his lips that grazes his nape, sending a wave of heat right through his body. He feels so hot in his arms, he wants it more. And Dedue is willing to give it to him. He kisses his neck again, pressing his neck against his skin and letting his warm breath do all the rest. More than enough to make all of Dimitri's blood pump in his veins, right to where he feels a familiar sensation between his legs. 

“You're so good, Dimitri.” Dedue whispers against his skin. 

The prince cannot control the whimper that escapes him. They are naked, leaning against each other, so there is nothing that they can hide from the other. There is nothing they can lie about. Dimitri feels Dedue's hardness pushing against his thigh. It must be the truth, he must believe it. That he makes him feel good, too. Dedue hold him even closer shifting his hands around him. He caresses his chest and resumes the kissing of his neck, his hand traveling lower, lower, settling low on his stomach, so close from his growing erection. 

Dedue moves again, angling his hips lightly so that suddenly, Dimitri feels his hard cock slipping between his ass. His lover moans, low, right against his skin. It feels good to him. He moans and, his mouth open, he begins to suck on Dimitri's neck. He can only reply to it, imitating his sound of pleasure. 

“Aahh... Dedue, Dedue please, you can-”

Dedue moves again, between his ass, moaning again. An intoxicating sensation fills Dimitri, growing deep in his stomach and spreading though him, through his shivering body held tightly between the arms of his lover. If he pleases him, if Dedue likes his body and his touch, if he can bring him pleasure, then it is more than enough for him to reach his own.

~~~~~

Dimitri's eyes burst open, his heartbeat frantic again, only to meet the darkness of his chamber again. With the same heaviness in his heart, lightness in his mind, hardness between his thighs. In a pattern he begins to know. 

He understands, painfully forced to face the evidences, his uncontrollable desires assaulting even in his dreams, how undeniably attracted he is to Dedue, and every thing he does and say and feels. How to far he has fallen.


	3. Some Things Can't be Found in Books, Other Can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I took so long to publish this chapter I'm sorry.  
Anyways things are going much slower than I anticipated, but I hope you will like it! :3

They never talk about what happened. 

Dimitri isn't sure why, but he definitely doesn't feel comfortable enough to bring up the subject. Neither does Dedue, it seems. The next morning after he left him in his room happens like any other morning. Dedue is in front of his door and they eat breakfast together, begin their day as any other. It is the best for everyone.

Dimitri would not know how to explain what got into him when he was so close to kissing Dedue's skin. Not without sounding too weird. Not without disturbing the relation they have. 

But after a few days it happens again. Dedue reminds him that he has to take care of his scars now, instead of the doctor. And Dimitri cannot see any reasons to refuse. He already agreed to it after all. He lets him take care of his old wounds, feels his warm hands handle him carefully and can only propose to return the favor. Dedue seems to be embarrassed for a moment but ends up agreeing. They take the habit of taking care of each other scars. 

Time passes and with time, Dimitri learns how to not shivers at every contact of Dedue's hands. He learns how to contain his impulses about his vassal, even though his actions still have such a strong effect on hims. But he thinks, if he can contain his fantasies in the intimacy of his nights, and indulge in them then, it should be easier to push them aside during the days spent next to the man invading them. 

He truly thinks he can manage, until their year at the Academy begins. 

Dimitri was right, in a way. He was right about what to expect from his year of studies in the Academy. Dedue and him are closer in the academy than they were in the royal palace. Or maybe it is only him who is just much more aware of... Everything.

After the day he became aware of his attraction to the Duscur boy, it felt as if he took even more space. His presence was much more important and Dimitri became aware of every little details about him. Every part of his body, every faces he made and what they meant, each little sentences he was used to say.

It all becomes even worst when they are students, on a foot of equality, taking classes, doing chores, eating, training and fighting together. They're constantly looking out for each other, which deepens their bond. Every day they spend together seems as intimate as their tea sessions when they where still living in Firdhiad. Because in Garreg Mach, even if there are still intolerant people, casting looks at Dedue and speaking behind his back, it is much fewer than in the royal palace. Also maybe because they are not in their kingdom and constantly in the company of strangers, Dedue stands closer to him. 

They're even allowed to have tea times whenever they can, with everything they need to prepare the tea at their disposition. But unlike what they used to do in Firdhiad's castle, they cannot take it in his room. Despite of the Academy being tolerant with commoners, accepting them more and more as students, they are still not allowed to go to the first floor of the dormitories. But they have a patio to take their tea, in a beautiful garden. Dimitri thinks it's probably for the best. He doesn't know how he could take it if Dedue came into his bedroom. He is too aware of the other young man's presence. 

Garreg Mach is a place where Dimitri experiences a lot of first times in regards of closeness with Dedue. His fantasies are constantly fueled by Dedue's presence always so close, always with him, trying to take care of him and sometimes, letting him do the same in return. 

If he thought it was hard to keep himself under control when he was training with Dedue, or when they met in the Duscur man's room to take care of each other's scars, he had no ideas about the Academy's common baths. Where all the students take baths almost naked all together, all gender confounded. 

Dimitri thinks he will never forget the first time they go into the baths together. Discovering that they are shared baths... It wasn't this way in Firdhiad. Even though they sometimes undressed before each other, it was only above the belt, to check the scars they could not reach in their backs. Not... This way. 

They arrive in the changing room and that is only there that Dimitri understands there can be no other options. He will have to strip entirely, and bath, naked, with Dedue. The thought only sends shivers in his body but he forces the images away, as he is used to do during the day. He turns his head toward Dedue, slightly, only to see him with his back turned to him and beginning to take of his clothes. As if it is nothing. The prince quickly adverts his eyes. Because he understands that it is just this: nothing. Dedue does not have the same mind as him. He does not feel excited about the idea of being naked with him. It is all only in his head. 

Dimitri quickly changes, too. Managing to keep some control of his body not to shake while undressing. When he is done, entirely naked, he turns around only to see Dedue staring at him. His green eyes look away, and he see a redness in his cheeks. Something that he can only understand. The temperature of the baths, in the room just next to the changing room, reach them and he starts to feel too hot. Maybe not only because of the heat, but he knows he has to keep those feelings for the night. 

Though he can not stop his gaze from traveling down Dedue's body and that is when he notices the piece of white cloth attached around his waist. He feels suddenly very stupid and very embarrassed. He quickly turns around and grab the closest towel to put it around his waist, with trembling hands. He did not even step into the baths yet but he already feels the heat reach his brain. 

Dedue is already gone into the next room when he is done. He decides to follow him there. The baths are entirely made of wood. The walls, the floor, the benches where Dedue is sitting quietly. He doesn't know if he should feel lucky or unlucky that no one else is here. While the Duscur man makes sure to keep his gaze cast downward, as to not make anyone uncomfortable, Dimitri can only stare. 

He should not take advantage of the situation, but it so rare that his vassal is not looking after him, it feels like it is the only occasion he will have to look at him without being caught. He wonders a moment if the other man is embarrassed, and it only adds to the ever growing fondness he feels for him. His heart pounding in his chest, he walks to Dedue and take a seat right next to him. Maybe in a too obvious gesture. They have the entire baths for them, but Dimitri decides to seat close to the Duscur man. 

From up close, he can perfectly see the blush across his cheeks, but he cannot know if it's only because of the heat of the baths or... something else. Dimitri knows that in his case, it is almost entirely because of the situation, but he cannot be sure. He cannot know for certain what Dedue thinks of feels. Something he regrets. He often wishes he would be more open to him, allow him closer...

But maybe it is not something he should think about when they are almost naked and alone. Though he is not sure the other alternative is much better. He looks at Dedue, his bare chest that he already had the occasion to see, and slowly his eyes travel down. He can perfectly inspect the traces carved into his skin, that he could never touch. He was only ever asked to take care of the scars in his back. He wonders if there will be a day when he could touch him as he wishes to. If one day he will know the feeling of nestling against his torso and feels his strong arms close around him. As he dreamed so often. But he tries to hold himself back. Those thoughts he allows only during the night. 

He tries. Really hard. But he decided to settle so close to Dedue's body... He cannot feel his warmth, because of the heat of the baths. A heat fighting with the one he feels from the inside, when he carefully watches Dedue's skin, glistening with sweat and droplets of water... It was probably a bad idea, because he can feel his body awaken and he knows this day will fuel many of his future nights. 

“Your Highness?” 

“Yes!” Dimitri quickly pulls his gaze away and up, to meet Dedue's eyes. 

“Is... everything alright?” 

Dimitri can only jerkily nod, clasping his hands on his lap. He has been caught watching, it would be a disaster if Dedue noticed the hardness between his thighs in addition. He tries to forget it, think about things that are the opposite from arousing, but when Dedue is still here next to him, with this embarrassed blush on his face... It only makes it worst. 

He doesn't know if his reply satisfied his vassal or if he doesn't dare to push the question further, but they keep their silence for the rest of the baths. Dimitri keeps his eyes on the floor, trying really hard not to look up Dedue's muscular legs very close from where his gaze is set, and he manages. Until Dedue stands up, announcing that he is done and walks away. Then, the prince can let his eyes roam in his back and ass, feeling the deep fire in his guts and knowing perfectly that this place and a very different outcome will be stuck in his mind for a long time. 

Days and moons pass by, and after six moons since their arrival in the Academy, Dimitri grows used to taking baths with Dedue. More often than not, other students are with them, and they take advantage of those times to take care of their scars immediately after. But this night when the Duscur man is of cooking duty, he is alone. He decides to clean rapidly and then study until time for dinner. 

Dimitri is not surprised to see the light in the library when he gets there. But he is more surprised to see that the person still studying at this hour outside of study hours is Sylvain. He knows his childhood friend to be someone with a lot of intelligence, but definitely not the kind to study. The sight seems odd. He walks to him, curious about what book could be interesting him. But when he arrives next to him, Sylvain does not seem to notice his presence. Dimitri did not think he was particularly stealthy. It only increases his curiosity. Whatever his friend is reading, it must be fascinating. 

“Sylvain?” He calls him. 

Sylvain's reaction is to jump at the sound so close to him and closing the book in one motion. Only there Dimitri can see that is seems a little odd. Not binded like the other books kept in the Monastery. He wonders where he might have found it. 

“Oh, hey, Dimitri. It's you.” Sylvain greets him, trying to regain his cool. 

“Yes it is. May I know what you were reading? You seemed particularly fascinated. It is quite a rare thing to witness.” 

Sylvain seems to hesitate for a moment, before he sighs and opens the book again. Dimitri can see then the writing, messy and almost not readable. But it doesn't tell Dimitri much about what it is, so he looks back at his friend with an interrogating look. “What is it about?”

“Stuff.” Sylvain shrugs, not helping his friend at all. Instead of a clear answer he just pushes the book further toward Dimitri to let him read and understand by himself. 

Dimitri frowns, but complies to his friend's proposition. He reads a few lines, taking some times because of the hand writing. Whoever wrote this, it was quick and maybe not meant to be read by someone else, or he assume the author would have put more care into their writing. The prince decipher a sentence then. 

_Loog left himself melt against the inviting lips._

Dimitri feels a strange discomfort reading this line, until he reads another one further down the page. 

_They both knew, the meaning behind their gazes full of intent. It was warm. It was intense. It was sexual and maybe something else he dared not yet address. But on this night, there was no space between them. He reached out under his friend's tunic. He could finally touch the skin so smooth under his fingers._

The prince cuts short his reading and looks back at his friend, mortified. “Sylvain... Were you reading pornography in a public place.”

“Yeah...?” He replies, clearly seeing no wrong in his doing. 

Dimitri still feels bothered by his friend's behavior. To think that he once believed their year at the Academy would calm him... Now he even reads about it. But in the end, he doesn't see anything to say. It is reading, like any other type of reading. Probably not worst than lusting over his closest friend at any hour of the day, and acting on it at night. 

“But not any kind of pornography. You read it?” The redhead asks with an amused smile. 

Dimitri frowns once again, and slowly, lowers his eyes to the writing. He skims over the part that he already read, even though he did not really read all of it, until he sees what maybe Sylvain wanted him to read.

_He lowered his closest advisor on the bed, looking him in the eyes and trying to catch his breath. He trusted many of his strategies with his life and yet, for the first time in his life, he felt unsure in his company. _

_“Are you absolutely certain?” He asked again. He looked for any form of uncertainty in the other man's eyes, but all he could see was an expression reflecting what he felt the most at the moment. They could not be sure, not entirely. But on this night they could-_

Reading the words, Dimitri slowly understands. He doesn't try to read more. His eyes stay fixated on the writing but his thoughts are already far away. He isn't sure if he and Sylvain see the same thing, reading those things. If it is only for the historical inaccuracy or the fact that... This is the text describing two men loving each other. Exactly the kind of writing he needed to find moons ago, when his attraction for Dedue became painfully clear to him. Finally putting his hands on it now, after time has passed, after he had to understand it on his own... 

But who is he kidding? He is not even close from understanding. And the answer, or at least the proposition of an answer is in this book...

“It's pretty good, right?” Sylvain's voice pulls him out of his thoughts. He looks to his redhead friend, and can only nod, taken aback by the question. “I wonder how she knows so much of this stuff. Little Bernie may not be so little after all.” 

“Bernie?” Dimitri repeats. “You mean Bernadetta? She is the one who wrote it?” 

As Sylvain chuckles, the prince's gaze is drawn again to the writings. He supposes he can believe it quite easily. The book which looks more like a note book than something published, the messy handwriting... But the subject... He had no ideas the shy and quiet Bernadetta he thinks he knows could have written this. Pornography about two important men of the history of Faerghus. 

“I know, right? It's hilarious.” Sylvain continues to laugh, but slowly regains his calm. “Well... there is not only that kind of scenes. There are pretty intense scenes on the battlefield and a lot of stuff happened between them before this scene, forging a deep bond. You just surprised me at the perfect time.”

“And you just... She gave it for you to read?” Dimitri asks, still gazing intently at the book.

“Nah, she just forgot it. Ah, I meant to bring it back to her but I got caught in the...” Sylvain stops himself in the middle of his justification, but Dimitri doesn't really notice. “You want it?” 

It is what finally makes him look back at his childhood friend, embarrassed that his intentions could be so easily perceived. “Wha- I... I hardly see in what it could be...”

“It's interesting.” Sylvain shrugs. “And who knows, maybe it is history that the History wants us to forget.”

Dimitri only stares at him for a few seconds, not sure to understand what he means to say. It could not be what happened really. It is what one of their classmate wrote. He still believes this is deeply inaccurate. But he understands one things. He does want to read this book. Before he can really say it, though, his friend stands up from his seat and begins to walk away.

“Then I pass it on to you.” He declares. “Don't forget to bring it back to Bernie though. I bet she's super nervous about losing it.”

On those words Dimitri is left in the library with the book. He thinks he should feel happy that his friend lend it to him without asking questions, but suddenly he remembers that he is still in this place where anyone could come and see him reading this. He closes the book and decides to read it elsewhere. So he tucks the book under his arm and walks back to his room, hoping no one will ask about it on the way. Especially hoping he won't see Dedue.

Thankfully he does not. 

The novel is fascinating. Dimitri doesn't know how Bernadetta knew so much about love between two men, but he can't stop but projecting when he reads those lines. He isn't sure of it's because one of the men is a king, and he will be one soon. The bond forged between King Loog and his advisor Pan, his fear about their relation because of Pan's devotion and his growing attraction to him. Things too close to what he feels about his relationship with Dedue. 

And, well, there are the sexual sections of the book. Which are much more interesting than anything he could have read in journals or romantic novels. Especially the parts about penetration, something that got him perplexed for a long time. But now that the way is showed to him so plainly, he can perfectly imagine it. Reading the parts when it happens, when king Loog lets his advisor use his fingers to open him, he sees himself and his closest friend. He sees his large hands and the way he would so carefully finger him... 

He feels desire light up in his core reading those lines. And curiosity growing inside of him. He can only wonder how it would feel. He never thought of doing anal before, nor any other sexual activity. He keeps his fantasies to himself. But maybe he could try this too. Only imagine it would be with someone else. No harm in that, he believes. But he cannot stop his reading, not yet. He is way to involved with the characters and the plot. He promises himself to compliment Bernadetta on her writing when he gives her back her book.

Dimitri finishes the book quickly, too quickly in his opinion. The author is not yet done writing it, but he thinks he doesn't need to read much more. It was a very instructive reading, which filled his head with new ideas and... He isn't sure if it is good or bad. There are so may things he wants to try, now, but he knows he will never have the occasion to. Not with the person he wants. Or maybe... Maybe if he can feel so lucky... 

But what he feels right now, for sure, is desire. He wants to know what it could feel like, to have Dedue's fingers inside of him, handling him carefully, slowly opening him for... the rest of him. Only thinking about it stirs something deep within him... He wonders too often how Dedue would look, entirely naked. How his cock would look, how it would feel. It is only justice, he thinks. He did see him completely naked the first time they took a bath together, so... 

Dimitri puts down the book on his table, and tries not to thinks about it further. He looks out the windows and notices the night has already fallen. And he didn't even stop his reading to eat. Now he lives with the consequences, feeling the hunger take hold of his stomach. This and something else battling inside of him... He thinks he should try to sneak into the kitchens to grab something to eat quickly. 

But when he steps out of the dormitories, he notices light coming from the kitchens. It is strange to think there is a thief in there that he ought to stop, when he was coming here just to do the exact same thing. Still, he readies himself and walks to the dining hall. He doesn't need to go all the way there. The candles inside are blown off and he sees the person coming out of the building. 

“ah, Dedue!”

“Your Highness.” Dedue greets him back, visibly surprised to see him here at this hour.

Dimitri sees then the tray of food he is carrying, and he slowly understands that it must be for him. Dedue always makes it one of his priorities to make sure he eats regularly and enough food. “You didn't have to...”

“It is nothing.” Dedue reassures him, shaking his head. “I got worried when I did not see you in the dining hall all evening.”

Dimitri feels even more guilty, thinking he worried his close friend this way. Especially when he remembers why he was not there... Thinking about all the things they could do together... He understands that he still feel very aroused from his reading and the thoughts it created in his mind, particularly when the man of his desires is standing right in front of him. But he tries to wave the thoughts away. “I'm sorry. I got... erm... caught up in a book.” 

“I understand.” Dimitri doubts he truly does. “I'm sorry for being so late but there was nothing left so I had to cook you something else.”

“Oh... I... thank you.” The thought that Dedue cooked it specifically for him warms his heart in a different way. He feels bad for giving his vassal so much trouble, but from where he stands, the delicious smell hits him and he can only admire Dedue's talent. And how lucky he is to be on his mind, even if it is not quite the same way as he is on his mind. 

“Then... I'll leave you to it. I apologize I cannot take it to your room.” 

“Oh, yes.” Dimitri wakes up from his thoughts, taking the tray from Dedue's hands. Maybe stupidly, he makes sure to take the tray where Dedue's hands are, only to brush against his fingers. He feels again the warmth of his skin against him, stark contrast with the coolness of the night. How it would feel to have those fingers inside of him... 

Dimitri feels too hot suddenly. Thinking about this while still facing Dedue... he bets he is blushing hard right now but he can only hope the darkness of the night will be enough to cover him. “T-Thank you, Dedue.”

“This is nothing. I would have brought it to your room, but...”

“No need.” Dimitri replies a little bit too quickly. Even though he regrets the separation made between nobles and commoners in the dormitories, and the interdiction for the commoners to be in the first floor, he cannot imagine having Dedue walking on him reading pornography. 

They stay like this for a moment too long, between the dining hall and the dormitories, Dimitri holding the tray of food that Dedue prepared specifically for him, and Dedue watching his prince. The night is dark, but still, they should not be seen here, after curfew. Dimitri can still feel his heart beating loud in his chest, but he isn't sure why. Maybe the trespassing of the rules, maybe Dedue's attention toward him, maybe the dirty thoughts invading his mind about what could happen if his vassal walked on him reading sex between two men. 

“Then I should be...” 

“Ah, yes.” Dimitri remembers. They are not supposed to be here, he has food to eat and they are still just standing facing each other. “You are correct. Then, I bid you good night, Dedue.” 

“Have a good night, your Highness.” 

In his room, Dimitri puts the tray of food on his desk and begins to eat. He feels frustrated as ever, to never be able to taste Dedue's cooking. Especially when he can smell the divine smell that comes out of it. But he has to contempt himself with this. While he chews on the food that tastes like nothing, he cannot stop to wonder. What if… what if Dedue was allowed on the first floor? What if he saw what he was reading, and his arousal? What if Dimitri worked up the courage to ask him?

He cannot know for sure. He can never tell if Dedue's attentions toward him is only his dedication, or maybe something else, something resembling what himself feels for his vassal. After reading this book about king Loog and his advisor Pan, he can only believe the latter would be possible. The Undesiring subject is actually really only in love with his liege. In love... 

Dimitri pushes his empty plate away. That isn't it. He isn't in love with Dedue, he doesn't think so. Because... isn't love something that is impossible to miss? But what he feels for the Duscur man, it was always a little bit here, in his words, in his actions. But he wouldn't know. He only has books to tell him, and what they tell him is... that there can't be love where the is only one. And that is exactly what he is, right now. He is only one. 

Alone, and with his desires of... the want he has of knowing how it would feel. To have something inside of him. His hunger passed, this is all he feels suddenly. The deep want, invading his body. He remembers his foolish attempt at feeling Dedue's fingers against his skin. He tries to remembers it. How solid they felt, a little rough from the life of a warrior, warm... 

He opens his eyes and looks around in the room. He cannot do it just like that. He thinks he remembers in the book, they said they used something to lubricate. Especially for the first time. There is one time where the characters had nothing and had to use diverse body fluids but... He thinks it would be best to find something. Slick. Oily. His gaze falls on the bottle of ointment he uses with Dedue. And he immediately feels like this is a really bad idea. A really bad one. Because it is something he uses too often, with his friend. If he associates it with what he wants to do, he knows for sure his thoughts will go wild next time Dedue takes care of his scars. But on the other hand... he does know how his fingers feel covered in this ointment. He knows too well... 

Dimitri stands up and walks to his nightstand to take the bottle in hand. To Hell with his worries. Right now, he wants to know how it feels. He really, really wants to know. He quickly undresses and climbs in his bed, ointment still in hand. He is so excited his cock is already hardening. How embarrassing, he thinks. He is glad there is no one to see. Though... though he imagines if someone were to see him like this. 

_“You are so eager.”_

Dimitri chuckles. Maybe Dedue would not say it like that. But he kinds of like it. He likes to imagine Dedue being straightforward with him, climbing over him and slowly spreading his legs open. He puts the ointment on his fingers and rubs them together to feel the texture. It could be alright. At least he hopes so. It's not like he has any other options. 

He grabs his erection with his left hand while his other hand travels between his ass-cheeks. He rubs the pad of his finger on his tight entrance. He imagined it would be tight but not that much. He wonders a moment if he could fit more than one finger. So Dedue... 

Thinking about the Duscur man fires up all his body. If he could see him, if he could be the one to touch him... he could do it, he knows. He could make it fit, easily. With his tender and careful touches. Closing his eyes and imagining the fingers against his ass are bigger and more warm, he pushes inside. 

The feeling is weird. He cannot find it particularly pleasing right away. But with his hand around his cock slowly moving up and down, the mix of the two sensations is something else. He tries to push his middle finger further inside. It slides easily, thanks to the mixture on his finger. He moves it inside, pulling it out and in again, until he can do it with no resistance. His body seems to rearrange around the intrusion. And after a few seconds, he decides to put in another finger. This time, he cannot hold back a gasp. Maybe, he thinks, he is too rough, too impatient with himself. He knows Dedue would do it more tenderly. But he also knows he would feel so many other feelings, if Dedue was here with him. 

_“You are so warm Dimitri.”_

It's true. He feels his inside being so hot around his fingers. But he wonders if he could really be hotter than Dedue. If he would not feel his warm fingers moving inside him. His fingers move as if on cue with his thoughts, and another gasp escapes his lips. The sensation becomes more bearable. Bearable and after a few movements of back-and-forth, his lower back is filled with pleasure. Two fingers... Two fingers feel right for him. For now. 

_“I can't wait to be fully inside of you.”_

The words he says in his mind spread liquid fire in his veins. Oh but how could he fit Dedue inside of him when he can hardly put a third finger... He moves the digits inside, out and in again, trying to keep the same rhythm of his hand around his erection. He imagines Dedue's hand, Dedue's fingers... He would lean in toward his face, noticing his expression. 

_“You are doing really good Dimitri. I suppose we can settle for my finger for tonight.”_

“Y-Yes...” Dimitri moans, almost feeling his warm breath on his ear-shell. 

He feels the pleasure building inside of him, stronger and stronger. And in his mind Dedue leaves his sides to settle between his open legs once again. Speeding the movement of his hand, of his fingers, he tries to push in another one but he is distracted by the construction of his mind. The hand around him is replaced by a pair of lips. 

“Aahn... Dedue...” He brushes the tip with his thumb, imagining the wetness of the Duscur man's tongue, the warmth of his mouth. On this image the third finger slips in, shaking his entire body with pleasure. 

Dimitri tries to quiet down his moans the best he can, but with his two hands working him to his release his has nothing to do so. He can only feel the waves of pleasure crashing into him one after the other, his movements loosing their regular rhythm as he closes on his release. He comes, finally, managing not to scream his vassal's name. 

When he rides down from his orgasm, he slowly pulls his finger out of him. The feeling of short emptiness is even weirder than the one of fullness. But he can only imagine it would be so very different with someone. But he tries to ignore the feeling, quickly washing the mess he made before going to sleep.

The next morning, Dimitri decides to give the book back to its owner without waiting another second. He stops in front of Bernadetta's closed door, and checks to hear rustling behind it. He knocks on the door before calling. “Bernadetta?”

“Wh-Who is there??” He hears back. 

“It's Dimitri. I came to give you back a book you forgot.” He barely has the time to explain before he hears agitation behind the door. He suddenly feels guilty, to have read it when she probably wanted to keep it to herself. “I'm sorry. I meant to bring it back to you sooner but... I got caught in your writing. It is really good, you kn-”

The door bursts open. “GGYAAAAAHH I can't believe someone read it my life is ruined!!!!!”

Before he can react, the book is snatched from his hands and the door closes once again right on his face. Dimitri stands here for a few seconds, before he feels too bad about the whole situation. He never wanted to embarrass his fellow classmate because he was too curious. “Bernadetta? I get that I should not have opened it and even less read it. I truly apologize.”

He is only met with silence. And discomfort. But he feels so bad for making her feel that way. When her writing really… maybe not help him. Maybe it is not the correct word. It only brought more knowledge about what he felt and… more 

"I… suppose that I should thank you, furthermore."

"T-thank...me?"

Finally hearing a reply feels him with relief. He never wanted his classmate to begin to ignore him. But now that he brought up the subject… he definitely does not feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Not with Bernadetta when he didn't even talk about it with his closest friends. Not when it would feel like talking in Dedue's back. And goddess knows he has enough of that in this place.

"Well I was just wondering… The way the king was so open with his feelings. I just wonder how… how you could put it into words. How could you know that his feelings… It was very accurate. Well, I… I can only guess so, but… "

He is only met with silence, again, and he fears that he said too much, or not enough. Maybe his question is too specific, centered on the king's feelings. Maybe she will make the connection with his, his own situation. And if she guesses that he is attracted by men… I could not matter. As long as she does not guess correctly the man he is infatuated with.

"I just write what I want. I-I don't know it's… cathartic. Maybe you should try. No-Not that I could tell your Highness what to do!"

"You think… I should write?" Dimitri repeats, uncertain.

"I don't know… all I know is that… when I feel a certain way, writing about it helps."

Dimitri stays in front of the door, pondering for a minute about her words. He supposes she is not wrong. Maybe writing about… his thoughts, his desires, could help him. Putting them on paper could help putting them out of his mind. But if he wrote it and someone found it, like Sylvain found Bernadetta's writings, he would be ashamed beyond words. Writing pornography about his closest friend seems completely inappropriate.

But on the other hand… many people did keep journals, as the ones himself found in Firdhiad's library when his desires awoke. But in his case, no one needs to know. He can only keep it in his room, concealed where no one would find about him and his attraction. And if it feels wrong writing about Dedue this way, he can keep it to his own feelings.

"You-You are still here?" Bernadetta's timid voice pulls him out of his reflection.

"Ah, yes, I apologize for disturbing you Bernadetta. I'll leave you alone, but thank you for your advice.”

On the very same night, Dimitri settles at his desk, pulling a few sheets of paper and his quill, ready to try to put into words his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is one of us, it is canon.


	4. Catch a Flame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy hope y'all are ready for another chapter! :3

_My most cherished friend,_

_I am still unsure of the exact term to put on our relationship. You once told me that you were nothing more than my vassal, after all. But I still nourish the fantasy that one day, we would be more than that. More than just a prince and his vassal. But also more than just friends. _

_I do not believe friends have for each other the types of feelings I have for you. I do not believe friends want more than anything know the embrace of the other. Know what it feels like to be in their friend's arms, to feel their warmth and have quite explicit sexual dreams with them. _

_I truly feel sorry if my affections could put you in an embarrassing situation. I never want to bother you. So, I suppose that is why I write those words that you will never read. _

_Dedue... Do you know that I admire your delicacy? How you can be so tender with things is beyond me, who cannot do manual labor without breaking anything. Your careful touches fascinate me and they are so often at the core of my fantasies. I imagine how you could hold me, as a lover. How I could feel inebriated from your caresses only. _

_But during our shared days, I am more captivated by your strength, and I cannot hide it, your body. Whenever we train together and I can see you strength from so close, I can only imagine how easy it would be for you pin me to a wall and kiss me senseless. How your massive body would fit against mine and I would not even try to resist. I would love for you to return my feelings and take what you want from me. All I_

“Dimitri!! It's time!” Sylvain's voice and banging against the door pull Dimitri out of his own head.

Head that seems to be burning hot. His cheeks are red as he tried to think of things to write. He puts down his quill, not even daring to read the words he just wrote down. He hurriedly puts the letter away. He never thought he could put all of these thoughts on paper, but he keeps on following Bernadetta's advice, since their most recent discussion. He still isn't sure if it is for the best. Now, he only knows better what he wants from Dedue, but if he wants it less... That seems pretty far from the truth. 

But he convinces himself that he puts the thoughts away, with the letter, and readies himself for classes. 

When he arrives in the Blue Lion's classroom, barely making it in time, he sees Dedue having a discussion with Annette, Mercedes and Ashe. Dimitri always feels happy whenever he sees his vassal spending time with other of his classmates. During their first days at Garreg Mach, he was always with him. He would never complain about it, of course. Each minute spent in his company is a gift. But he was afraid for a long time that he would not try to be included in the class. And the Goddess knows the Duscur man has been left out enough. 

But there is this part of him, that he is ashamed of, that feels a little bit jealous. He perfectly knows he has no reasons to be. Dedue does not owe him anything, even less every minute of his free time. But he cannot stop but wonder, when he sees him get along so well with other people, if they could be on his mind the same way Dedue is on his. 

His interrogations are quickly washed away when Dedue's eyes fall on him. He says something to the classmates he was speaking to and walks directly to him, inclining his head in stead of the ceremonial bow. “Good Morning your Highness. Did you sleep well?”

Dimitri cannot hold back a smile. “Good morning Dedue.” He seems to still be his vassal's number one priority. He tries very hard not to feel happy about that, because it could very well only be the duty he thinks he still has in the academy. As well as it could be affection. The same way Dedue is his dearest friend. “I did, how about you?” 

At this moment, the Professor comes in the classroom and asks the students to take their seats for the lesson about to begin. As of usual, Dimitri and Dedue seat next to each other at the front. They don't talk during the lesson, trying to concentrate on the theoretical teachings of their Professor. The morning classes go by and then it is time to go to the dining hall to have lunch. On the way there Dedue leans in to speak to Dimitri, and the prince tries very hard to ignore what the proximity of their body does to him. 

“Your Highness, do you need your scars to be taken care of?” 

“Yes, I think today would be a good day for that. Maybe after our training session?” Dimitri proposes, fully knowing that they will have time to train together when the classes take end tonight. And since after training they always take a baths to clean from the dirt of the exercise, they can take advantage of their cleaning time to go to Dedue's room after. 

“Very well.” Dedue agrees. “Do you need to refill your ointment supplies?” 

The question suddenly reminds Dimitri of what he does with the ointment, at night. Using it as a lubricant to please himself on thoughts about the very same man he is having a discussion with... He feel his cheeks grow a little warmer but he hopes Dedue doesn't notice. It is true that due to his... activities, his supplies are running short a lot faster. But when his vassal doesn't know, or at least he really hopes so, he is impressed at Dedue's foresight. 

“Erm... yes, yes I do.” He admits. 

“I will fetch the plants necessary then.” Dedue declares, changing his trajectory.

“Ah, no Dedue wait!” Dimitri calls him back, and trying to hold him back he grabs his hand. Dedue must have not expected it because he stops right in his tracks and looks at his prince with a surprised look. Dimitri feels suddenly very self conscious and lets go of his hand. “We can go later, after classes. But right now lets just enjoy our pause and eat.” 

Dedue can only nod and follow his prince into the dining hall. During this time Dimitri curses himself because of the impulsion he indulged in. Maybe he always kind of wants to hold his hand. But to actually do it... He makes sure then, during the rest of the day, to not touch his hand. Not to think too much about touching him. Even less about the reason why his ointment supplies are running so low so quickly. He tries very hard to contain his impulses in regard of his vassal.

As of this day, it still is difficult to contain for him. Which he finds only embarrassing. With all the things he tries to do, indulging in his fantasies at night, writing fake letters... He doesn't wish to see Dedue as only someone he is really attracted to and wishes he could touch. He is his loyal vassal, his closest friend, and an excellent fighter. Whom can give him real strength challenges when they train together, even with his crest. That is how he tries to get his mind out of his usual thoughts about the Duscur man. Training together. 

After classes they meet on the training field for a one-on-one training. At this hour, most of the students are in their room or in town, not really wanting to tire themselves right after the end of classes. Which means they have the entire field to brawl, area they decide to improve today.

The days are growing hotter as moons go by, even in the evening after classes. After a long session of combat, with the warmth and the effort given because of the exercise, they are both sweating. Dimitri thinks he should feel lucky that Dedue is not the kind to undress because of the heat, because he does not think he could take it. But he has to give many efforts to equalize his prince's inhumane strength. And when he faces him, red because of the heat and slightly disheveled, a few strands of his hair falling out of his ponytail, and panting... Dimitri is distracted for a moment. 

A moment that is too long, as he lets his eyes roam freely on his vassal's frame and lowers only slightly his guard. He sees the hit coming way too late to have any chances to spare it. He only has a second to prepare to be hit right in the face. But it is forgetting Dedue's almost perfect self-control and incapability to hurt Dimitri. 

Dedue manages to redirect his hit, successfully not punching his Highness in the face. But he doesn't have the time to correct his stance in time and looses his balance. Still in the impetus of his hit, he falls onto his prince, who seems unable to hold them both, and they fall together on the training grounds. 

Dedue is on top of him. That is the only coherent thought in Dimitri's mind at the moment. Even when the other young man tries to rise up to not suffocate him with his weight, Dedue is pining him down. His hands on both sides of his face, wet with sweat and blushing and panting. A picture straight out of his most recurring dreams. 

Dreams that still are very efficient for him, thought. And reminding him of words he wrote just the very same morning. His heartbeat increases dangerously, as does the heat of his face. He feels all his blood run to his crotch. He could so very easily kiss him in this position. He would only need to raise his face and... He does not think their body have been closer. Dedue could do anything he wants with him. 

“I'm... My apologies.” Dedue says right away, but as he moves his legs to stand up, he feels it. 

Dimitri hoped he would not notice. But he can see it on his face. The short interruption of his movement, and the slight confusion on his face. Maybe there is still hope to not entirely ruin their relationship, he thinks. Dedue feels something but it could be anything, really. Until he lowers his gaze, slowly, to check what is hard under him. Panic raises in Dimitri. He has to stop him, prevent him from actually noticing that the position they are in arouses him. All he can think about is opening his mouth. 

“Ah, Dedue! I...”

Successfully, Dedue looks at him. But he sees in his eyes what is slow realization. And he cannot hold his gaze. His face is burning but it feels as if all the blood drained from his face. He looks away, anywhere in the training fields that would not be Dedue. He tries to cover his face with his hands, too, since it seems that is all he's able to hide.

Dedue can only look at his Highness, feeling too hot. He supposes it is only normal, when is that situation. But his prince's obvious erection should not create that deep feeling inside him. Especially not when he is still under him, and blushing and still out of breath... He abruptly stands up, remembering his place. He should have stood up ages ago. But because of... Nothing. This is nothing. His Highness's condition is perfectly normal. He is a young adult, after all. It is normal for him to... 

Dedue remembers then the discussion they once had during one of their tea, little time before they came into this academy. He wonders if his Highness had time to experience, since then. That is probably the case, if he was curious. So maybe... his reaction is caused by someone here. He looks around and sees someone. A student is training here, with only shorts and a short top because of the high temperatures of the day. He supposes that it is her his prince is attracted to.

His attention is redirected when there is movement near him. His prince scrambling back on his feet, still a shade of scarlet. 

“Listen Dedue, I... I can-” Dimitri begins.

“There is no need to explain yourself, your Highness.” Dedue interrupts him. “That is perfectly normal and understandable.”

“O-Oh...” Dimitri mutter, not sure Dedue completely understands. But how could he know that he became so excited, only because of him pining him to the ground? It is probably better if he thinks it is only his hormones. Which is true, too. “T-Then we should probably take a pause.”

Dedue agrees, and they head to their rooms to change back from their training outfits to their uniform academy. But on the way Ashe runs toward them, informing them that all the Blue Lions are gathering in their classroom to talk about the recent events. Dimitri manages to keep a composed appearance, and nods solemnly before they change their trajectory to head to the classroom. 

They are the last to arrive, not surprisingly. Ashe goes back to the front of the classroom to seat and listen to what Annette is talking about, standing in their professor's place. Dimitri tries to be as unnoticeable possible, still feeling his blood hot in his veins. He can only hope it won't take too long. And that no one else will notice his state. He can't believe himself for still feeling so aroused when all his classmates are talking about such important matters. But then, Dedue takes his usual place next to him, and he remembers exactly how. 

His prince shifts uncomfortably next to Dedue. Despite himself, he takes just a quick glance, to check his... condition. There is still something there. It is not obvious to someone who would not have felt it directly under him, but there is a small bulge near his Highness's crotch. Dedue tries to tell himself that he is not blushing. Maybe if he thinks it enough he will be able to actually control it. But he is feeling something at the thought that his prince is still aroused so close to him. 

When he raises his eyes, he meets two blue ones. And he knows he's been caught staring. He also knows he's blushing. Like his prince, whose cheeks are now a cute share of red. But his expression is only one of embarrassment. Dedue wants to say something to ease the situation but nothing comes. So he quickly turns his gaze away.

Thankfully, it seems that Dimitri is not yet a lost cause. Because when they begin to talk seriously about Flayn's kidnapping, Monica's finding and what their foes could want from them, all form of arousal vanishes from him. They exchange theories but they do not have much knowledge, and mostly, no proofs to base their theories on. The little reunion is cut short for cause of lack of things to discuss about. 

When they walk out of the classroom, Dedue is with him as always. “Your Highness... It will be soon time to eat. May I know where you are going?”

His tone is a little hesitant, and Dimitri wonders if what happened during their training session is the cause. But, no. He cannot think of that again. “I'm headed for the baths. I feel the sweat of our training sticking to my skin and I just I need to get rid of it.”

“I understand. I shall accompany you.” 

Dimitri feels hot again, despite all his previous efforts to calm himself. Despite his success cut short. He thinks about telling Dedue that it is unnecessary, but he remembers that he did sweat too, a lot. He is probably going to the baths anyways. So he can only nods weakly, his traitorous brain already assaulting him with made up images of his vassal. A mix of their training session and the baths they sometimes take together. A sweating, panting, skin-glistening Dedue pining him down-

Dimitri takes off, almost running to his room to collect a set of fresh clothes, while he tries to calm down his breathing and heartbeat. He can do this. He is not some sort of pervert. He can control his impulses. He can have a bath. A perfectly normal bath, with the young man who occupies all of his dreams. That is fine. That is perfectly fine. He only has to hold himself for a few minutes. 

They are bare, in the baths. Seating on the wooden benches. Naked except for the cloth around their waist. There is a silence, heavy between the two of them. It is not unusual for them to just stand together in silence but for some reasons, this time, it feels too silent. 

Dedue wonders what could be the cause, and would love nothing more than to fix this. But he doesn't know how. He tries to think of a solution, but everything leads him back to the same situation. His prince's... Situation. He feels hotter to only think about it. That his Highness could have such... Attractions. It is natural. Obviously. But for a reason Dedue never dared to think of him in such a position. 

Though... that's a lie. He did think of it. Sometimes. A lot of times. In the solitude and the darkness of his room, when there would be no one to see him. No one to know. He dreamed of his prince, in the same state, erected in his hands, under him. One time, he even dreamed of it in this very same place. He feels hotter at the thought. Though he can perfectly imagine that it is just because of the temperature of the baths.

Dedue dares to glance at his prince. The moment he does he notices him turning his gaze away, hiding his face with his longer bangs falling in his forehead. All he is allowed to see are his ears. Reddened. Was he watching him? Did he feel it too, this heavy silence, this discomfort between the two of them? He has to talk. Say something, anything. But he doesn't know what to say. 

Instead he lets his eyes wonder on his prince's body. Only... only to check on the healing of his scars. It is the only moment he is allowed to see him so bare. Through the steam of the baths, he sees his body. Wet with steam. Glistening in the dim light. It is quite the same during his fantasies. But there was not this silence... He feels yet hotter, concentrated on the task of holding back any sign of arousal. Maybe because he is thinking about the object of his dreams now, or because it will be soon time to leave the baths. 

He doesn't think about the fact that his staring might be too obvious. That the flush of his prince is expanding to the pale skin of his chest. He lets his eyes travel down, until he sees it. Still here, through the fabric of the cloth. His Prince's arousal. Since the time he had it... He can only imagine how painful it must be. Had he not been here with him... Would his prince have taken care of it? Does he know that he wouldn't mind if he did even if he is here with him? That he often dreamed of offering his help...

Oh, but he cannot think of it right now. Not when there is only the two of them, and what separates his from his prince sex is only a piece a fabric and some steam.

When he raises his eyes, his prince is staring at him, red from the high temperature of the baths, he thinks. Dedue thinks he is the same color. 

"D-did you... Think of, perhaps... Talking to her?" Dedue finally breaks the silence, turning his gaze away, unable to meet his Highness's eyes longer.

"Who?" He doesn't see the confusion on Dimitri's face.

"The woman who... Created such a big sentiment in you."

"Oh...” There is a silence, during which Dedue dares to turn back to his prince. But he meets his gaze, intently fixed on him. And he isn't sure of what to make of it. “It's not a woman."

Dedue stops to think for a second. His Highness is... he was not attracted by a woman. He was attracted by a man. Still is. Right now, in these baths. He is under the shock that his prince could be like him, have the same attractions, but is even more confused by something else. Because he doesn't recall seeing a man training with them earlier. There were only the two of them and this students, so... So he cannot imagine... Not when he is still staring at him. Dedue can only cast his gaze away, feeling his face burning. His entire body burning.

"T-then perhaps you should talk to... Him"

"I am." Dimitri says, sliding to sit closer to Dedue. He is impressed by his own calm, and the stillness of his voice when his heart is beating so loud. He thought he has to hold himself back, but when he sees Dedue's entire body flushed, the way he looked at him when he thought he would not notice... Dimitri is certain he has the same expression when he watches Dedue. And it can mean only one thing. 

"Your... Highness..."

Dimitri is so close to him when Dedue looks at him. "I apologize Dedue."

"For..." Dedue swallows, his eyes betraying him, attracted by the sight of his Prince's light pubic hair disappearing under the cloth. "What for?"

"For this" Dimitri slides his hand between his legs, touching the inside of the thigh that is closer to him. Dedue gasps, and the sound only creates a delicious wave of confidence inside of the prince. So he dares letting his hand wonder higher, higher until his fingers graze something hot and solid. Dedue has to use all of his self control not to moan when his prince's fingers touch his growing member.

"I believe..." Dimitri swallows. "I believe you have the same sentiment for me."

Dedue has to get out. Now. Or he thinks he might lose all control. He feels so hot he could be on fire. His prince's touch lights something deep within him and he isn't sure how to put it out, or even just control it. If it is true... If he really has the same feelings for Dedue that Dedue has for him... It cannot be right. His prince cannot waste his time on him. There are many other attractive student in this Academy. Much more attractive and... 

Dimitri's hand is still caressing the inside of his thigh, looking up at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. Or for him to stop him. But the sensation clouds his mind and all rational thoughts. All he can think about is... that... not. Not now, not here, not him. Dedue stands up abruptly. Too quick, and with his prince's hand under his towel... it slides off him. He stands frozen, naked before his prince, with the beginning of an erection caused by the impure thoughts he has about him.

Dedue is mortified. This cannot be really happening. The Duscur Gods are dead with their people. And the Goddess of these lands hates him.

"Dedue..." Dimitri whispers, eyes intently fixated on the member so close to his face... Finally, he thinks. He can see him in his entire naked beauty. He reaches out, without really thinking about it. All he knows is that he wants to touch him, reach out to him. Dedue can say no. If he does, he will stop. But no words come out of him. So Dimitri touches his thighs, observes the tremble of Dedue beneath his palms. 

How he wants to... How he wants to... He isn't sure. His mind is buzzing, too light and he is too hot. Way too hot. He manages to turn his gaze away from the Duscur man standing in his naked glory in front of him. And he remembers. They are in the baths. No matter how bad he wants Dedue, they only cannot do anything here and now. 

Dimitri raises his eyes back to a perfectly still frozen Dedue. “We should...” He tries, taking his hands off Dedue's skin. “We should not stay much longer.”

The lack of contact seems to throw Dedue back into reality. He nods shakily, reaching for his towel, to quickly cover himself.

“But I... I would like to continue this. In my room. After dinner. If you agree...?” 

They are young men. Young hormonal men. All of this means nothing. And Dedue knows he is right. There are so many students in this academy who are much more attractive than him. But he is the one here, always next to his prince. He is the one here, so his prince chooses him. That is all there is. So Dedue will be here. He will take his own pleasure with his prince, but it will mean nothing more. 

“Yes, your Highness.” 

Dinner seems too long and short at the same time. Dedue and Dimitri arrive together in the dining hall, but hey dare not say a word. Both feeling still shaken about what happened, and too nervous about what might happen next. Dimitri would not have eaten anything, if Dedue had not insisted. But only after a few bites of his food, he excuses himself and walks back to his room. Dedue follows his lead a short time after. 

In the dormitory, Dimitri checks quickly in the corridor of the first floor, to make sure no one would see them going into his room together. Because of idiotic rules, he could not even make up an excuse for Dedue's presence with him. He then thinks that they could have gone into Dedue's room, but he proposed his own room, and here they are. 

When they are finally in the intimacy of his room, and he closes the door, he feels all his nervousness crashing into him at once. He thinks he can feel where Dedue is in his room, and his gaze at the back of his head. But when he turns around, and he sees him with his own two eyes, the young man he dreamed so much to have in his bedroom, standing before his bed, it all flies away from him. 

How lucky is he? What good did he do, that he can have Dedue? That this young man so strong and caring and gentle is always looking out for him? And now, that he learned that he reciprocated his desires? 

Dimitri walks to him, almost shaking with excitement. He reaches out to him, his closest friend. Hesitantly still, not knowing exactly what to do. He imagined a lot of time this instant, but it never was real. It was always driven by his desires and not really accurate. Now, it is real. He puts his hands on his arms, near his wrists, which feel warm even under his uniform. It seems as if Dedue is radiating heat. Dimitri raises his blue eyes to him. Their gaze meet. That is probably true, he thinks. Things are... Heated. There is that expression he sees there, on the Duscur man's face, and that he has never seen before on him. Except before, in the baths. When he was…

"Can I kiss you?" Dimitri manages to ask, and surprises himself with his self control. How he can wait. How he can wait until Dedue jerkily nods. 

When he knows he can, though, he holds nothing back. Dedue is stiff against him. He has to put his arms around his neck to be able to kiss him, being smaller than him. He pulls his own weight up, tiptoeing to reach Dedue's lips. But then, finally, he is able to feel his lips against his. Warm and soft. The contact is quick but it seems to shock the taller man into action. He finally moves his hands to put them on Dimitri's hips, to hold him. The blonde thinks he can feel the warmth of his large hands through his uniform, spreading on and under his skin. And he already adores it. 

They are close. Their bodies are pressed together. Dimitri resumes his kissing, putting his lips on any surface of skin he can reach. He kisses Dedue's jaw and neck, and the taller man's hands shakes on his hips. He doesn't dare to move. He doesn't dare to touch his prince. But Dimitri wants to. He desperately wants to feel his hands on him so he tries to show him that it is alright by touching him first. He lets go of his neck and puts his hands against his chest, still kissing his neck. He lets his hands travel down, until he can reach the hem of his uniform's vest. His hands slide under the vest of his uniform, feeling the warm and solid skin right under his fingers, and the goosebumps on the skin there created by the contact.

"You know... You can touch me too" He whispers against his neck. 

The implications make Dedue exhale loudly. The warm breath caressing the top of the blonde's head. Dimitri shivers, growing more and more sensitive. Every part of his body in contact with Dedue seems to be burning up but he wants more of it. He wants to touch and be touched but Dedue doesn't move. He doesn't move and frustrates the prince so very much. The feelings are all assaulting him, ecstatic. He wants it and he wants to give it to Dedue but if he doesn't reply... 

Dimitri slows down a little, his enthusiasm dimmed but the lack of reactivity of his companion. He feels the sensations inside his body dim as hesitation and doubts settle inside his mind. He steps away, only enough to be able to look into his eyes again. Suddenly, Dimitri understands. 

He pushes all the way away, all the blood drained from his face. "Oh no... No, Dedue..."

Dimitri knows, then. This man, his closest friend. His devoted vassal, who would gladly throw away his life for him... He was probably going to give him a number of other things. Each more valuable than the other. He shakes his head, violently, terrified of himself. Terrified of... What he might have done, should he have been more carried by his desires.

"I am sorry, I... Please forget all of this."

That is all he can mutter before running away, far from his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclaimer: I do not think you should touch your friend like this when you take a bath with them x)
> 
> Sorry to end it on kind of a cliff-hanger :/  
This whole thing is taking a lot more time than I thought to settle into the original idea x)  
Trying to finish the next chapter as soon as possible :3


	5. Begin to Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, it is time for an update!  
I hope you will enjoy :3

The night has completely fallen when Dimitri wonders around the Academy fields, aimless. 

He ran away from his own room and now... He doesn't dare to come back. He fears that he will come back only to find Dedue sitting here and waiting for him and trying to apologize. Because that is how his loyal vassal is. Exactly that. A loyal vassal who only cares about him and his well-being and whose dedication almost made him... 

He cannot think of that without feeling sick. He cannot think he almost became that sort of monster to force someone so loyal to him.

His steps take him to the other side of the Monastery. Near the knights's training field. He stops right before the closed door, thinking. He should just... Apply exactly what he told Dedue. To forget it. Forget any of this ever happened. But, he finds it nearly impossible. How is he supposed to forget the only time he was able to hold Dedue so close, and Dedue held him back? How is he supposed to forget his warmth against him? How is he supposed to forget the sounds of his refrained moans? And the aspect of his hardening member under his fingers?

He lets out a sigh, condensation in front of his mouth in the cold night. In the middle of Fodlan, during the warmest moons, nights are not nearly as cold at those of Faerghus. Yet the prince feels cold. And he doubts going back into his room will fix it. 

Still, that is all he can do. He spots movement at the corner and by the light coming from the people walking toward him, he understands that it must be the knights in patrol duty tonight. He should probably not be seen here, outside his room after curfew. He doesn't think he is risking a lot of trouble but he should make sure that Dedue went back to his room. He can not be found in his prince's room at this time, it would put him in a delicate situation. 

When he finally reaches the first floor of the dormitories, he notices with relief that the Duscur man is not here anymore. He probably applied his advice, then. It's probably for the best. He should do the same too. Trying to sleep it off.

Unsurprisingly, the next morning things are not feeling better. But Dimitri wonders how he could hope it would. He gets ready for the day with the constant knowledge that he was about to force his vassal to have sex with him. Stepping outside of the dormitories, he can only feel this lumps in his throat, a heavy stone in his stomach. He ought to apologize to Dedue. He already did but he thinks he can never truly apologize enough. 

“Your Highness.”

Dimitri almost jumps at the sound of this voice, and he comes very close to spill all the content of his plate when he was just filling it. He slowly raises his eyes to his vassal, waiting for him patiently with his own plate of food in hands. He can immediately see the tiniest differences in his stance, his expression, and his eyes. There is something careful and hesitant. And it only makes him feel worse.

“Go-od morning... Dedue.” He greets him back with a voice much weaker than he'd like, walking to the tables to take a seat.

Dedue takes a seat across of him, watching him for a moment, and the prince wishes he could just vanish into thin air. He cannot imagine what the Duscur man must think of him right now. After what happened last night, after what he almost did to him... After what he did do to him, he realizes suddenly. He stole a kiss from his lips. He even touched him, in the baths. He touched his penis without even asking if it was fine and... His heart is hammering against his rib cage, the sound of its thumping invading his ears. He feels like a monster. He cannot even raise his eyes from his food. He cannot see Dedue right now. 

“Your Highness, are you feeling ill?” He hears Dedue ask him, and he does not think he dreams the way his voice sounds. It would probably go unnoticed to anyone, anyone who did not spend most of his time observing the Duscur man and trying to understand him and his every moves and intonations. He is worried, and nervous, he hears it in the way his tone is lower. 

“I'm...” Dimitri hesitates a moment. 

It is a way out, he supposes. He doesn't want to burden Dedue with his feelings. And if maybe he acts like this, and asks this question, it is because he wants him to follow his lead. Only keep on pretending. It would be so easy to wave his late behavior as just not feeling well. He could pretend an illness and wave this whole story off. 

But it doesn't feel right. It would be even worse to lie to Dedue. He did bad things. And he was on the verge of doing even worse. He is truly thankful that he could stop himself in time but... Now he believes that he needs to be truthful with his vassal. They need to be honest and frank with each other. Maybe if they did from the beginning, they would not be in this situation to begin with. 

“Listen Dedue, about last night... I truly, deeply apologize. I am... so ashamed of my behavior.”

“You... You regret, then?” 

Only then Dimitri dares to look at something else than his plate. He raises his eyes to look at Dedue, curious and, despite himself, expectant at those words. The taller man seems uncomfortable under the attention, which Dimitri can only understand, after what he almost did to him. After his attraction being made unmistakeable. But... He thinks he might be dreaming the blush on Dedue's cheeks. But he cannot control his hopes. He feels so ashamed that he cannot control it, as many other things he feels despite his volunteer. Why would he ask him this if he did not... 

Dimitri's heart skips a beat in his chest. “Ded-”

“Hey guys!” Sylvain greets them, settling his plate loudly on the table and taking his seat next to Dimitri. “How are you doing?” 

The action jolts the prince out of his head. Goddess, he was about to do it again. He was about to forget about his friend's feeling and think everyone just feels like he does. Of course Dedue feels embarrassed about the whole situation. He too, would feel nervous if he knew one of his close friend had these feelings for him and he was unable to reciprocate them. All that happened was on him. He manages to give Sylvain a quick reply before stranding up, unable to put anything in his mouth without feeling more disgusted than he already is. He does not see Dedue follow him, and he speeds up to make it stay this way. It is probably better this way. 

As all the students are getting excited around him about the mock battle about to come at the end of the month, he shows a reserved enthusiasm. Ingrid is one of them, already in the Blue Lions classroom early, as usual. She seems to notice his reservation. 

“Your Highness, is there a problem?” She asks him.

“No, that is nothing. Do not worry about it.” Dimitri tries to not worry her, but her inquiry reminds him of his place. He is foolish to let those futile things get to him so easily, when there is such an important event coming and they all have to be ready to win against the two other houses. 

His worries all come crashing into him when Dedue arrives in the classroom. No, he most definitely cannot rely this issue on a second plan. He feels his guilt and culpability eating him from the inside. He cannot live with himself after this. After almost forcing Dedue, a man so loyal and kind, to indulge in his selfish fantasies. He tries then to give him some space, and goes to seat at the back of the classroom. Thankfully, his vassal doesn't try to push further and walks to his usual spot at the front. 

But at the end of the day, Dedue comes to see him. "Your Highness. May I speak to you, please?" 

Dimitri raises his head slightly, but doesn't dare to look him in the eyes. He still feels this heavy feeling in his stomach. Something resembling fear. His mind is already racing with the possibilities of the reason why Dedue could want to talk to him, in private. But he can only nod weakly. 

He follows the Duscur man through the Monastery, wondering where he can be taking him. When he recognizes the path, leading towards the greenhouse. He supposes it is one of the quieter place of Garreg Mach. Where they would not be bothered if they begin to speak about things as sensitive as what almost happened. But surprisingly, Dedue does not go inside of the greenhouse. He takes a turn and walk around the building. He leads them behind it, which Dimitri finds a little bit odd, but when he arrives there he understands. 

From there, he can perfectly see all the beautiful view Garreg Mach has to offer. And sure enough, he would never think of going here if he didn't know about this little space. So they are entirely sure of not risking any interruption or anyone eavesdropping. Though... He wishes they did not have to have this conversation. He wishes he could have better control of himself, just like Dedue. So he keeps his eyes fixated on the view, the warm color painting the sky as the evening begins to chase away the sun. 

The silence stretches between them for a moment, Dedue unsure of how to put what he needs to say into words, and Dimitri too afraid of what he might say to open the discussion. He fears it and yet he knows he deserves it. Whatever Dedue wants to say to him, it is only just.

"Your Highness…" Dedue gathers his courage to be the first one to speak. "There is something I need to confess."

Dimitri's stomach twists again at those words. But yet again, all he can do is nod as if it took every ounce of energy he has left. He can perfectly imagine the words that are about to come out of his mouth. The reason for his nervousness, why they would need to go into some place far from prying eyes to talk … he can understand him perfectly well. He doesn't think he would feel comfortable being at the service of someone who almost took advantage of his in such a horrendous way.

"Know that…" Dimitri manages to articulate through the lump in his throat. But it is so difficult. He ruined everything. Not just for him but for Dedue. "Whatever you are about to tell me... I will not try to stop you. And I would never blame you for making that decision."

Dedue looks at his Highness, cut in his explanation. He had just gathered the courage, the right words… he could only see his Highness's distress all day long. And there was no doubt possible about the cause of his sentiment. What happened last night was… he still feels too embarrassed, too ashamed of his reaction. To freeze like he did under his prince's kisses… it was a very bad thing to do, even if it was something he had no control over.

Dedue was quite simply terrified. Not of his Highness's affections. It is something he only ever dreamed of having. But what it could mean. His Highness could not waste his time on him. People of Fodlan were already speaking ill of him, for having a man of Duscur by his sides, as his vassal. So he could only imagine what would be said of him if they had a much deeper relationship. If it were to be known. 

But when he sees his prince, feeling miserable, he thinks maybe it is something he should not think about. People could talk only if they knew. But his prince caution, about taking them to his room, making sure not to be seen... No one would know. It would only be something between the two of them. But he did nothing for that. He left his prince and now... Now he has to gather the courage to admit something that might change the relationship they have forever.

His prince says he will accept whatever he wants to say, but he sees that it is not true. Because his blue eyes can't be torn away from the view in front of him. And he does not understand the fear that invades him, that won't let him only look at him. Until it dawns on him. How his late behavior could have been so misleading. Why his prince would be so afraid of his words. But he cannot bear the idea of being the cause of his suffering.

"I will not leave your service... Of course, if you'll still have me"

"Of course I will still have you Dedue..." Dimitri breathes, and for a moment he turns his gaze to him, but just a second. As if seeing him pained him too much, he quickly adverts his eyes once again and stares at the sight offered to them. "But... Is that what you want?" 

Suddenly it becomes much, much clearer in Dedue's mind. He thought his prince was only afraid that his feelings were not reciprocated, even if he is still unsure of what kind of feelings it is all about. But when he asks him about what he wants, he realizes the true concern of his Highness, and curses himself for being so slow. 

"Your Highness... I... would never want to be by someone else's sides. You did nothing that could push me away." Dedue admits. 

He doesn't know, if it is going to be enough for his prince to understand. To fully understand. But Dimitri turns to him. His blue eyes fixed into his, with an expression... Of surprise, but also expectation. So the taller man understands he will have to... To say it. He inspires, but suddenly finds out that he cannot look directly into his prince's blue eyes. Not when there is probably only one way to say it. No, he tells himself. He has to say it. 

"I too... Have nourished fantasies of the kind... With... You, your Highness."

Dimitri can only stare at him now, as if he could not look away, the same way he did with the landscape only a few seconds ago. He feels his heart starting to beat loudly in his chest. “Is... Is it true?” 

All he receives as an answer is a trembling nod. But he knows it is just as valid as any affirmation. He knows it when he sees the dark blush on Dedue's face. And by the way his face heats up, he believes he must be the same shade. This time, though, he doesn't feel guilty about it. Because he just learned that Dedue had fantasies about him. Dedue returns his feelings and desires. Well... he cannot be entirely sure about that. He cannot be certain if Dedue wants to do with him all the things he wants to do with the Duscur man. He supposes there is only one way of knowing it.

“What type of fantasies?” He dares to ask. 

“Uhm... Tha-That is...” Somehow, Dedue turns even more scarlet than he was before. 

The taller man's embarrassment is frankly adorable in Dimitri's mind. Even though he feels like it shouldn't because he feels just as shy. Well, maybe not that shy. The warmth he feels in his cheeks is not only because of nervousness. Maybe because he had many moons to come in terms with this side of himself. But he wonders about Dedue. Since when he had fantasies about him, since when did he understand it, and even if he figured it out. 

“I'm sorry. Have you not yet figured it out? I can try to show you mine if you want.” Dimitri proposes, not without feeling a lot of anticipation at his own words. It is the end of the day, after all. Usually they would train together but they could perfectly try to sneak back into his room and resume what they were doing last night. He would very much like that. 

Dedue can only look at his prince. He is still so surprised that his beautiful prince could nourish those kinds of desires for anyone. Even less for him. Even after the discussion they had about it, that he remembers too well. When he so bluntly told his Highness that he was very attractive. But now he is just aware of his blindness. He doesn't see why he could not feel those desires. He is only human, just like him, and by the way he is looking at him now... he believes he has them right now. 

This look he has seen already before, on several occasions, but until now he did not know what it meant. On the training grounds, in the baths, during their sessions to take care of each other scars... Did his Highness wanted wanted him that way during all of those times? He can only believe it, when the words come right out of him. And he can only remember his kisses, the feeling of his lips on his, that froze him the last time he experienced it... He finds himself wanting it again.

“I would like that. Very much.”

Dimitri feels his heart being lighter at those words. He smiles at Dedue, brightly and feeling all his anticipation growing inside of him. He wants to touch him, and Dedue is ready to let him show him... He feels like he can hardly wait. All his worries washed away by this discussion. They should have had this talk ages ago. But for the time being... 

“Let's go, then.” He reaches out and takes his vassals hands in his. The gesture makes Dedu's cheeks go red, which only makes the prince laugh. 

They are hurriedly led back to his room. Things happen the same way they did the first time. While Dimitri locks the door to make sure that no one will walk on them, Dedue waits for him near his bed. His excitation feels the same again, when he looks back at the Duscur man. He once again feels lucky to be able to have him this way, knowing his desires are reciprocated. Even though he isn't sure what are Dedue's fantasies... He tells himself that he will make sure to discover what they are. 

Dimitri slowly walks to him, but notices that Dedue is the same as the other night. He does not dare to initiate, he understands. But it has nothing to do with lack of want, if he can trust the look he is given. Dedue looks hungry, though there is still restrain in his eyes. Dimitri thinks he must look the same. 

He takes his hands in his once again, only to feel their warmth, the texture of his skin under his fingers. He should be used to the feelings, after all the times they took care of each other's scars. But each time is makes him feel different. And this time in particular, it makes him want for more. He wants more of Dedue and he can have it. He can do what he always wanted to do when Dedue was bare in front of him, during their baths or their scar caring sessions. 

“Can I undress you?” Dimitri asks, with intent in his voice. It surprises even himself. But he supposes that now, when every one of his fantasies are within his reach, there is no time to doubt. 

Dedue's hands move in his, agitated by his question. They squeeze his hands before leaving them. Dimitri can only watch him as he strips before his eyes. Again, this is something he has witnessed many times, but this is so different. He can see the tiny trembles of his hands, that he could not notice if he was not watching intently. He cannot hold back the want to touch his hands again, busy untying the collar of his uniform. He grabs his hands and use them as support to reach up and kiss him. 

Dedue's lips feel warm and soft against his, as they did the very first time he kissed him. So sweet he cannot stop himself from wanting more. He has only one regret, that is to not taste him, and the flavor of his mouth. But he supposes that maybe it is a good thing. He might be obsessed with his taste of his could know it. He already feels quite obsessed with how they feel against him. 

Dedue stops his undressing when he is kissed by his prince, fully concentrated on how the younger man feels against him, kissing him. His Highness is kissing him, he realizes. And he should kiss him back, to show him that he wants it, too. But it is overwhelming. His mind is buzzing under the sweet assault of his lips. And then suddenly, the feeling of his prince's hands resuming his own task of taking off his uniform's vest. 

Soon, Dimitri is done with his task and lets the cloth slide off Dedue's shoulders. He breaks their kiss long enough to pull his undershirt over his head, with a little help from him. He can finally put his hands on his chest. He admired it so many times before, wanting to feel it against him, and now he can caress his bulky pectorals covered in silver hair. He can feel the shiver under his fingers. He feels a little apologetic. His hands must be so cold against his warm chest. But he cannot think of taking his hands off him. Right now, he only wants to touch him more. Feel him more. 

Dimitri puts his lips on him again, where he can easily access. His neck, his shoulder, his collarbone. The attention makes Dedue's breath hitch above him, but then he feels him holding him again. His hands on his body, on his waist. He is holding him but not daring to do more, while the prince kisses his skin. 

If he cannot taste the flavor of his skin, when they are pressed so close Dimitri can inhale his scent perfectly well. While he runs his hands in his back that he knows too well the sight of, where to avoid the scars, to pull them even closer, he let it invade his sense and his mind. His husky perfume, so strong. It reminds him of nature, and the outdoors during the warm summer days, but with it all, there is the sweetness of a thousands different flowers. So sweet and beckoning it lights a fire deep within him. A wild hunger. 

He opens his mouth and runs his tongue on the tender skin of his neck. Dedue can only moan at the sensation, and Dimitri hears it, the sound running through his entire body in waves of excitation. But he can also feel it, so much. He feels the noise as it makes its way up Dedue's throat, making it shake right under his mouth. He feels Dedue's hands grasping his body with more intent, with more want and need. And Dimitri can only understand him. He can only understand but he wants to feel him, so much more. It's so unfair that he doesn't get to taste this man. He lets his mouth travel down the tender skin to his collarbone and begins to kiss and lick his exposed chest shamelessly, as if feeling more of the smooth texture between his lips would make up for the lack of taste. 

Dedue's hands holding tight his hips is an electrifying sensation, but there is a feeling curling in his heart telling him that it is still far from what he was expecting, and that maybe there is still something holding back his friend. Dimitri still is not sure how he gathers the will to separate his lips from the warm and welcoming skin offered to him.

“I wonder... In those fantasies of yours. What would you do? Would you never touch me, like now?” There is a little bit of a teasing in his tone, but nothing too bad. Dimitri is really curious, seeing how Dedue is acting right now. He wonders if it could be what Dedue really wants. Only receiving his prince's affections, letting him ravish him. If that is the case, he would be more than happy to oblige. 

Dedue is brought back to reality by his prince's voice. And his genuine question. He can still feel his breath against his bare chest. During all this time, covered in his kisses, all he could think about was to not give in to what he imagined too many times. Not to give up all control to his impulses. But he feels his body heat up as he thinks about all of those impulses he indulges in at night. His Highness's naked body in his care, safely settled in his arms, spent.

Dedue shakes his head, in a messy movement. “I-I dreamed of... Holding you...”

Dimitri cannot control the shiver that runs through his body at his admission. And he would not want to. He wants for Dedue to see it. What effects he has on him, how he would love this too, so that he would hold nothing back. "And you did touch me, yes?"

Dedue nods shakily.

"Ah... Then, touch me..." Dimitri whispers, rising to kiss his lips hungrily. 

Dimitri's kiss is more intense, more demanding, more everything. He presses their lips together and moves them, opening his mouth against his. Then, Dedue feels something wet pushing against his mouth, trying to make its way inside and inviting. He can only comply and part slightly his lips, only to feel his prince's tongue invade him, licking every part accessible. The sensation of his tongue searching for him, his flavor filling his mouth shoots pleasure through his entire body and his hands react at the action, grasping harder his Prince's hips. 

Dimitri exhales in his mouth, at the feeling of his large warm strong hands holding him tighter. But it is not yet what he truly desires. Reluctantly, he separates their mouths, licking his lips to try to keep a little bit of the feeling within him. Even if it will only be a short interruption. He slowly puts his hands on Dedue's. 

"Touch me...?" He says again, and this time it sounds much more like a plea than he would have liked to let on. But maybe it is for the best when he sees the other man's reaction. 

Dedue leans in and kisses him back, with the same passion he used to kiss him before. They immediately open their mouth to let their tongues meet in a messy and precipitated way. Dedue has to use all his self control not to make any sounds around his Highness's lips, but at least he manages to keep him from saying anything that might push him beyond his edges while occupying his mouth with his tongue. Though maybe it is not something he would not have done, if he was not already beyond those edges. His prince melts against him, humming lowly directly inside his mouth. 

Dimitri takes one of his hands from his hips and bring it down, and down, until he put it on his crotch, flat against his erection. He shivers against him and moans in his mouth at the contact. Dedue replicates the sound, his entire being suddenly yearning to hear more of these intoxicating noises his Highness can make because of him. He shifts on him, moving his hips and rubbing against his palm and moaning again. 

Dedue stays petrified by the situation. It is happening the exact same way as all his fantasies begin. He is allowed to hold him, hold this man so close... And there is nothing he wants more than to be openly as eager as his prince, show him all the things he does to him. But he is frozen in place. He is frozen by something telling him this is deeply and fundamentally wrong. His Highness cannot want him, not in this way. It is happening only because he is available, and his prince has desires and urges. Things to discover about himself. But it is his role to remember his place. He should stop him, and take care of him, instead of selfishly giving in to his desires. 

"Y... Your Highness..." Dedue murmurs. 

As reply Dimitri sighs deeply. "Ah... Goddess Dedue... In such an intimate moment could you not use my formal title?" 

Dedue cannot say that no, he is not going to call him by his name. Because it is not... Like that. He will never be his equal. He will always be his Highness. But his mouth is occupied again by his prince's hungry kisses. And all protest is cut from him. Especially when Dimitri lets go of his hands, puts his arms on his back again and pushes against him, hard enough to press their groin together. A gasp escape them both at the feeling of their clothed erections rubbing together. 

"Dedue...” Dimitri feels suddenly as though he is out of breath. “When you held me... Were we lying down?"

Dedue can only be honest, and he nods to his Highness's inquiry. Suddenly he is pushed back until his knees hit the side of the bed. Dimitri pushes him gently once again to make his fall against the mattress, and he opposes no resistance. He makes a quick work of his own uniform, already missing the contact of Dedue, Dedue's hands on him, Dedue against him. He only lets his blue cape, jacket and undershirt fall to the floor, under the captivated gaze of his vassal. 

Dimitri climbs on him, straddling his thighs and leaning over him, flushed and trembling with anticipation. Dedue is mesmerized by the sight of his prince above him. His bare chest is flushed, and it seems so smooth that he cannot hold back his hands. They find their way back on his narrow waist. His skin is flushed, even if it is much less than his face. It reminds him of the day before, in the baths, when he had to deal with his persistent arousal. Feeling it pushing against his thighs, he understands that he must be in an even worse state. He shudders against his hands.

"Your Highness... Is this your fir-"

"Yes. But it doesn't matter." Dimitri interrupts him, not seeing the interest in talking about such matter when they are both so close and so aroused. Until he remembers long wondered questions left without answers "and you...?"

"Of course...” Dedue cannot hide his surprise at the question. “With whom might I ever had..." 

Dimitri hums, satisfied for a reason. Before he plunges for his lips lips again. Hungry. It is as an assault, but one Dedue would gladly take. He doesn't think he can feel tired of feeling his Highness's kisses, nor be at the receiving end of his affections. When he can brush his hands against his skin and feel his shivering as a response, he does not think about his unworthiness. Suddenly all that matters is the pleasure he can bring his prince sighing against his mouth. 

Dimitri has no more control over himself, but he does not really care. He does not care at all when Dedue replies to his kiss, opens his mouth invitingly and welcomes his tongue with his own, letting them dance together in an exhilarating mix of their breath and saliva. Their passionate kiss light up his entire body from the inside. He still wants more. He wants more when he feels that Dedue is so hard under him. Probably as hard as him. He felt it well when they touched, when he pushed against him, and he finds himself craving for more of that friction. 

The blond rolls his hips down, to rub their clothed erections together again. The sensation creates a wave of pleasure ravaging through his body once again. He feels Dedue's heat though his pants, against his own. They moan together in the tangle of their mouth and it makes his mind a little numb. 

Dedue could stop him, if he did not want this to happen. With his hands on his waist and his strength he doesn't doubt that he could easily hold him back. But he does not. He does not and that only pushes him to do it again, and again, rolling and pressing their hips close. His hands touch Dedue's face as he does not break their kiss, only tries to deepen it, but the pleasure becomes overwhelming, a pressure building inside his stomach and spreading through his entire body. Soon he is out of breath and is forced to break their kiss to only be able to breath. 

Dedue is panting under him, his mouth open and his lips swollen from his kisses. Dimitri only wants to kiss him more, feels those warm lips again. But he can only for a short time, at lack of breath. Instead he lets his mouth wonder down, under his jaw, on his neck, sucking the tender skin here as he sucks in his short breaths and Dedue's scent. 

“Your Hi-” Dedue moans suddenly when he sucks a little hard, stopping himself right before saying something he knows his prince does not want to hear right now. The blond hums against his skin in response. His large hands leave his moving hips to travel up his back, carefully avoiding the scars he knows are there, still aware of this though his mind rendered hazy by pleasure. He finds a place for his hand amongst his prince's golden hair, while the other stays around his body, holding him as he rolls his own hips up to meet his movements. 

“Ah! Yes, Dedue...” Dimitri moans against his neck. His entire body shaking under the sudden pleasure of Dedue. Dedue finally moving, finally acting, finally taking for himself. His body suddenly overflowed by his closest... his dearest. He feels his warmth, the trembles of his body under him, his movements, his hardness against his own and his chest is shaking under the impression of being filled by too much, too many things. He grasps Dedue's shoulders, anything of him that he can reach, needing to feel him.

And suddenly it is all freed. The sensation takes hold of his insides and burns through him, under Dedue's hands, as he comes in his pants. He tries to muffle his cries of pleasure by pressing his open mouth on Dedue's collarbone, but every thing shakes his body. 

Dimitri slowly comes down from his orgasm, at the same time as realization comes to his mind. Still feeling Dedue's chest under him rising and falling at the rhythm of his heavy respiration, the semen on his groin and between his thighs, and the hard thing still pressing against his over sensitive member through their clothes... He came by only rutting his clothed erection against Dedue's.

He buries his face in Dedue's large chest to hide his embarrassment, feeling his face burning. Meanwhile the hands in his hair caresses him softly, the fingers still running calming motions in the blond bangs so tenderly. "Are you alright?” Comes the low voice of the Duscur man, trying to keep it even but failing. Dimitri can perfectly hear the small tremble present there, because of his excitation. And he did not even... 

“I'll soon be.” He decides then to not wallow in shame much longer, not when Dedue has yet to reach his own climax. 

Dimitri puts his hands on his abdomen and push himself up, breaking with a little bit of regrets all the contacts they had. His mouth on the warm skin, the hand in his hair... Instead Dedue puts his hands back around his waist and watches his curiosity, his eyes still dark from arousal. Dimitri does not waste any more time. He stands on his knees just the time to undo Dedue's pants and pull it down enough to free his erection. Dimitri does not loose second to reach for him.

His cock is so hard in his hand, so warm, and already wet with pre-come. He was not far behind him, and that makes him feels a little bit better. Even better when Dedue closes his eyes at the contact and lets his head fall backward on the mattress. Dimitri wraps his hand around his hard member, trying not to feel too excited about the fact that he is touching Dedue as he always wanted to... 

He could get lost in the feeling, but that is not why he is doing this. He wants to pleasure the Duscur man, and so, he begins to move his hand. Up, all along his length until he reaches the head where pre-come is still leaking. And he moves his hand all the way back to the base in a swift motion that leaves his companion gasping. 

“Your- Aah...” Dedue grunts and his hips move from their own will, rising from the bed to meet his prince's hand. 

Dimitri understands it as a sign to go on, and begins to move at a regular pace, trying to meet Dedue's motions. Quick enough, he picks up a pace and it does not take a long time before the hands on his waist are shaken by the building pressure. The last indication he gets before the body under him shakes with the strength of his orgasm, and Dedue comes in his hand. It is mesmerizing, to feel his hot member shake in his hold as he empties himself, completely unraveling as he never saw him do before. 

Dimitri finally snaps out of his contemplation of Dedue's come on his hand, his fingers and his own stomach, when the hands leave his sides and the body move under his thighs. He finally opens his hand and lets go of his softening cock, feeling his face burning again at the thought that... Thay just did that. 

“I will... Go get something to clean us.” Dedue declares, and before Dimitri can say anything he is slowly lift up from his lap and put on his bed. Dedue rises from the bed and looks for a piece of cloth to wipe the come from himself before returning to his prince's side, seeming just as sheepish as him. 

“Your Highness...” He says, nodding toward his hand still covered in his semen. 

Dimitri scowls at the use of his title, but gives him his hand anyways. It still reminds him, as Dedue takes care to to gently wipe his palm and between his fingers, that maybe, probably... It is not because he learned that he has the same sexual desires as him that he has the same sentiment about their relationship, and the fact that they are just as important. 

It is strange, the sensation that fills his heart then, as Dedue delicately rubs the fabric between his fingers. The mix between the satisfaction of realizing a few of his numerous fantasies with the man of his dreams, but also the painful realization that even this action of utmost intimacy might not be able to change his point of view about their relationship, and what they could be... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :3  
It took way too long to get to that point. :')  
I'd love to know what you thought of it!


	6. Change That Set of Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize for the delay, even if I don't have a posting schedule x)  
Anyways sorry I'm late!  
Hope you will enjoy it :3

Dimitri watches Dedue put the dirtied cloth in a corner of the room, still half laying in his bed. But when he sees him gather his clothes back, he raises up to sit on the mattress, unable to contain a frown at the wet feeling in his pants. 

Of course, Dedue notices. “You can give me your clothes. I will get them cleaned before you wake up tomorrow morning.” He proposes, but does not look at him. 

Rather, he seems to avoid looking at him and it pains Dimitri. He knows he should not feel that way. He has no reasons to feel so disappointed after he was able to hold Dedue so close and feel him come in his hands. But now his hands are very clean, with no traces of what just happened. His vassal is dressing up and ready to leave, and all Dimitri will have will be his memories. 

So why does he still feel bad that Dedue is leaving? It is not like he could just spend the night here, with him, and they could sleep together. What would happen the next morning? He could not ask anything more of the Duscur man, not after he made him feel so good. Not after he fulfilled one of his long held desires. Dedue is right, and much more foreseeing as he is, as ever. 

So, with a sigh of resignation, he takes off the rest of his uniform, including his underwear which are the most dirty, and hands them to his vassal. Dedue avoids looking at him with more intent, red in the cheeks, and Dimitri thinks his embarrassment is adorable, after what they just did. But he does not comment on it. 

“Sleep well your Highness.” Dedue says before leaving. 

“You too Dedue.”

The next morning, when Dimitri wakes up, he finds his clothes cleaned and folded neatly inside his room, just before his door. He wonders how Dedue could have them cleaned and dried so fast. And to think he put himself through the trouble to bring them back here, without being noticed... He thinks he has to thank him, but words never seem to be enough to show all his gratitude. 

He is still thinking about a way to give back to his vassal when he arrives in the dining hall. Dedue is there, sitting at a table enjoying his breakfast with Ashe, and Dimitri feels his heart jump in his chest. He suddenly remembers how they parted, what little words they exchanged when he would have wanted nothing more but to know exactly what he thought of it. But perhaps the Duscur man did not wish to speak of it.

The prince finds himself hesitating to join them. But he does not even understand why he reacts in such a strange way. He feels ten times more embarrassed at the idea to face Dedue than the night after he first discovered his attraction. He never thought it could be possible. Could Dedue regret? What is he going to think of him now that he knows about his desires? Now that he saw him so shamelessly attracted to him that he came fully clothed, from only rutting against him... This morning he can feel the shame, and the apprehension. There is no way he is able to face Dedue right now.

“Hey Dimitri. What are you standing in the middle of the dining hall for?” Sylvain's voice erupting in his back pulls him out of his thoughts. And before he can try to find something to say, the redhead continues. “Oh there are Dedue and Ashe. Let's sit with them.” 

Dimitri can only follow his friend, trying to calm down. By the time he sits down, he has managed to calm his heartbeat down but his face still feels like it is on fire. 

“Good morning everyone.” He mutters a quick greeting , hoping no one will notice the blush that does not seem to want to leave his face. 

“Good morning your Highness...”

Dimitri raises his eyes to his vassal, suddenly more concerned by the tone of his voice than embarrassed by his own behavior. Dedue's eyes don't quite meet his. This only detail makes him realize that maybe... he is just as embarrassed as him. He only now notices that his cheeks are a little darker than usual. He thinks he must be the only one to notice.

"Thank you, for… my uniform. You really did not have to." 

"This is nothing. I... Well I was no stranger to the reason it got dirty.” Dedue admits, lowering his eyes and blushing, this time very noticeably. 

Dimitri cannot hold back a surprised laugh. He was most definitely not expecting this. But he supposes he is right, he was definitely not innocent to the state it was in. Only, Dimitri was not expecting such bluntness in his words. He feels even hotter now, and it would be a miracle if no one noticed how they are both blushing. 

He does not dare to look up to his other friends present, with their expression of surprised curiosity. They do not need to know, it is something only he and Dedue share, and somehow it reassures him. If the Duscur man reacts the same way as him... Maybe he has the same feelings about last night. He can only hope so. 

When he thinks about it a little bit more, he supposes that his short performance of last night could have positive consequences, even if it is still really embarrassing. It could only prove to Dedue that he is nothing more special than him. It could probably only help him to finally see them as equals.

When Dimitri finally dares to look back at his other friends, Ashe and Sylvain are only looking at him with curiosity. He was right when he guessed no one would notice Dedue's blush. Because Dedue keeps his calm and composure, and so Dimitri supposes that he should do just the same. He is not sure he likes to pretend this way, that nothing happened, but maybe nothing would come out if someone else learned about it. 

Thinking about it... Probably not... He is not one to care about whispers about him, but about Dedue... It is a different matter. People already pretend Dedue is controlling his mind to only stand by his sides. So if it were known that he is also the one he shared this first experience with... He does not want to make his dearest friend's life more difficult. 

Then they will keep it under silence. They have other thing to think about anyways. Tomorrow, they will leave for Gronder Field where will be the mock battle of the Eagle and the Lion. But before that, they need to get ready. Defeating the two other houses won't be an easy task. They cannot allow themselves to be so distracted during such an important even of their year at the Academy. 

But once again, Dimitri's thoughts betray him. All day long, all the prince can think about is his vassal and how good it felt to finally be able to hold him close. How delightful it was to feel him unravel in his hands. 

He had been so lucky to be able to touch Dedue and to see him like this. It was more than anything he ever dared to hope for. Yet, having it once in his life does not seem to be enough. He curses himself for feeling so demanding, so needing of Dedue. But now that he knows exactly how he feels under him, the warmth radiating from his body, his gentle touches that could not be for anything relating to his role for once... How could he possibly forget about it?

He knows... He knows he cannot ask for more. One time with him was already more than he should have ever had. But it was so little compared to all the things he wanted to do with him. There are so many things occupying his mind concerning the Duscur man. Especially when they sit together in classes, and for the lunch break, and each time their eyes meet he sees the darkening of his cheeks... He wants to kiss them. He wants to kiss him. But he should not, he knows he should not. 

So Dimitri does what he always does when he wants to get his mind out of various things. He goes to the training field when classes are over to train. They will leave early in the morning to travel to Gronder Fields. He trains alone for a short time, with Dedue away taking care of the green house. Until Felix comes to practice and they decide to have a friendly fight. Their endurance is high because of the crest running in their blood. It is late before they get tired or even think about stopping. 

That is until Dedue pushes the door of the training fields and steps in. Dimitri's eyes are irremediably attracted to his frame, detaching against the darkness of the night in his back, only lowly lighted by the torches around the training ground. The next thing he feels is a sharp pain in his stomach and he stumbles backward because of the shock and the surprise of the hit. 

“Don't get distracted when you fight against me.” Felix says, already walking to the railing to put back his training sword, taking the hit he managed as a clear victory. 

Dimitri does not have the time to protest. The voice of his vassal comes from right next to him. “Are you alright your Highness?” 

“Yes, yes... I...” Dimitri tries to wave off the soreness he already feels on his stomach. Felix did not go easy on him. He never did. But that is something Dimitri likes about him. At least, when he trains with him, he knows it is real. He truly feels like fighting against an enemy in a fight where making one wrong move is not an option if he wants to survive. 

In this case... A distraction really un-welcomed. Not Dedue. Dedue will never be un-welcomed, but rather... the things he feels. The warmth spreading in his chest and behind his cheeks when he lays eyes on the Duscur man. Goddess, he really wishes he had more self control. 

“I came to check on you.” Dedue explains. “Have you eaten yet?” 

Only then Dimitri remembers that he needs to eat, and that maybe the soreness in his stomach is not exclusively caused by Felix's hit. He only shakes his head and Dedue doesn't say anything, but there is no surprise on his face. Only the same old worry he has when he takes care of him. “Then we should go without waiting any longer. The curfew is close.” 

It is Dimitri's turn to look up at Dedue with a low kind of worry. He has not eaten yet either, then. Dedue ought to take better care of himself, but even in his mind, it sound a little hypocrite coming from him. So he says nothing but puts back his training lance where he took it before heading to the refectory with his vassal. 

When they arrive, the last chef in duty shoot them a disapproving look, but she is used to students coming late to eat so she scrapes the cooking pans to get them food and let them sit at a table while she finishes cleaning the kitchen. The two students eat in silence for a moment, more focused about eating quickly to not be of any more trouble than anything else. 

But Dedue's attention are always here, present in Dimitri's mind, at the top of his thoughts. Well, his care, and a good number of other things. But he tries to keep his mind out of this territory during the day, in the company of someone else. He raises his eyes to his friend, who immediately lowers his head. Was he... watching him? 

Dimitri feels this feeling growing again in his chest. “Dedue, I... erm... I wanted to thank you again.” 

“There is no need. It was my pleasure.” Dedue replies, before the both of them understand the double meaning there could be behind his words and they both turn a shade of red

“W-Well... I'm very glad to hear it.” Dimitri laughs. “You have absolutely no regrets, then?” He asks, following the underlying subjects. 

“No, no I don't.” Dedue replies, looking back at him with sheepishness but also a kind of surprise and hurry that tell Dimitri that he did not take the time to think of an answer. It is a purely honest answer. “Do you?”

The uncertainty in Dedue's voice make Dimitri's heart ache. He wonders how he could be so misleading for his closest friend. Made him feel so insecure about what he could think of him. “Of course not.” 

There are no regrets, if he is certain that Dedue enjoyed it just as much as he did. How could he possibly regret it when he has been thinking about it all day long? When he wants to do it again? That is only when it hits him. He does want it again. Of course, how could he not? No one could possibly feel Dedue under their body once and never want it again. No one could knows his heat and be contempt with feeling it only once. But can he really ask this of Dedue? Can he really have him again?

If Dedue said he had had fantasies of him before, if Dedue liked their shared experience, liked him, then maybe... 

“Sorry but I'll need to chase you out.” The chef interrupts them. 

Only then Dimitri remembers where they are. In the dining hall, and the chef has finished all of her work. It is probably a little passed the curfew. They have to go back to their room, get the most rest possible before tomorrow morning, because he does not think they will be able to sleep much during the trip. 

Focus is the most important thing. Dimitri has to entirely focus on sleeping that night, and not convince himself that Dedue might let him in his room of he knocked at his door so late at night. In the morning, he has to focus on the battle to come and not the way he can feel Dedue's gaze on him. He is always watching after him, that is nothing unusual. He has to focus on the travel to Gronder Field and calculate how much time they have before the fight, and not how Dedue and him are sitting so close in the carriage transporting the students of their house. 

Thankfully there are a few moments during which he can focus on his duties. It takes a few days to reach their destination, so they have to hunt for food during the trip. The areas around the camps are divided between students and employees of the church for their safety, so Dimitri has to hunt alone. Setting traps and killing preys calms him. The task pulls his thoughts away from Dedue and on the fact that he has no choices but to get food if he doesn't want them to starve. 

But Dedue is of cooking duty and eventually, Dimitri has to see him again to give him the meat he obtained, and feel flustered to only look him in the eyes. Something he should resolve. He doesn't know how they could form their usual unbeatable team if he can't be around him without loosing all his nerve? 

When he turns around he comes face to face with Bernadetta who just came back from her own hunting. She looks quizzical for a second, looking at Dimitri and Dedue, before she seems to realize that Dimitri is seeing her and she confounds herself in excuses, throwing the results of her hunt in Dedue's arms. Dimitri tries to not think much of it. He remembers how rude he was to read her writing without asking for her permission first. He truly hopes she does not hold any grudges against him, particularly since she gave him good advices then. 

But he must not think of that right now. He has to focus. 

Throwing himself into battle is always enough. When he has to prepare a strategy and fight, his mind is set on only one goal. Taking the victory. Under the professor's commands, they advance toward the ballista on the hill, Dedue acting as the front line and Dimitri shielding behind him to finish the adversaries that the taller man already wounded. In this time, as they have the clear goal to prevail, he does not think about how he feels safe and invincible when Dedue is next to him. Or only just a little bit. 

Dimitri is the one giving the last blow to Edelgard, wining the victory for their house. Her words as he stated his discomfort in battling against her are still troubling, as the fact that they did fight against one another. But at least, it is passed. 

After a quick celebration of their victory, including the students of the other houses by the proposition of Claude, they immediately depart again for Garreg Mach. The mock battle took a lot of the day. They have to install the camp not long after leaving. Dimitri finds his classmates very happy about their victory, and students of the other houses are fair play.

The atmosphere is joyous and Dimitri looses a little bit of his focus. He has no more battle of the Eagle and the Lion to think about now. So his first though is about... Dedue, of course. He cannot stop to think about him, and enjoy every thing he does. Even something as normal as helping to install the cooking area. He is always captivated by his expression of concentration, the way he moves, his gentle but assured movements when he does something he knows... 

A part of him begins to wish Dedue could be this way when he kisses him. That he would know him as much as he knows cooking and would act as assured when they are both alone and... But he shakes his head to chase away the idea. It could not happen. How could they know each other after having only once... 

When he raises his eyes again, he meets Dedue's eyes and he feels himself immediately blush. By a mere visual contact. The Goddess help him, he has no ideas how his attraction is not obvious to anyone around him. Though he supposes his sheepishness could be seen as guilt, for staying and watching his vassal instead of fulfilling his own duty. But he thinks Dedue might be thinking about this too, when he walks to him. 

Dimitri tries to quickly find something to talk about, that would not be about his previous thoughts. Until he remembers how the Duscur stayed a little in retreat during the celebration of their victory and he did not get to talk to him much. “Dedue... Congratulation for our victory.”

“Thank you your Highness.” Dedue says, managing to keep his calm appearances, unlike his prince. “But I should be the one congratulating you. You are the one who took the victory.” 

“Yes, but, well... I would not have been able to without you.” Dimitri admits, hardly able to count all the hit he took in his place. “I know I don't tell you enough... Thank you.” 

“Your Highness...” Dedue says, a little lower than before, a small change enough to tell Dimitri that he is touched by his words. Until he repeats those words that always bother him. “That is only my duty to assist you.”

“This is not only because it is your duty, Dedue.” He disagrees, insisting on this point again and again even if nothing seems to change that set of mind of his. “You could not simply be replaced by someone else. I believe you and I make quite an unstoppable pair. Would it not have been for you, I would have been incapable to pierce into the enemy lines.” 

“Your Highness...” Dedue says, looking at Dimitri more intently, with another intensity, but still restrained. The prince wishes he would see the day he would be able to crack that armor open. Especially when he sees the scratches already there, he dare hope thanks to his incessant tries to make of them more than a prince and his vassal. Even though his intentions are not entirely pure. “I do not know what to say.”

“Then don't say anything and accept my compliments.” Dimitri says, until he remembers what he was supposed to do instead of admiring Dedue. “Or... let us be a team a little while longer. I took a little delay in my hunting duty and...”

“Very well, I shall accompany you.” Dedue says without even hearing his prince's request. 

Dimitri feels conflicting sentiments because of it. Between the fact that Dedue is only looking for ways to help him because of his “duty”, and the fact that despite the reason, he truly loves to spend time with him. Maybe in another place, without all the people from Garreg Mach around them, Dedue will let him see the one he is when he does not fear stranger's looks and opinions. 

They head to the closest forest, to the area that was designated to be Dimitri's, and they separate a little bit to set various traps. They will rely only on the efficiency of that to catch preys tonight. Dedue is not quick enough to be able to catch something with his weapon, that is why he is always of cooking duty. Well, that and his gift in the matter. 

When Dimitri raises up after setting a trap, he sees Dedue not far from where he is, watching him. This time, though, he manages to hold his gaze, but neither of them turn away. Until Dedue takes a step closer, and the prince can see better his expression. The one he is convinced he has whenever he looks at his dear friend. Even if he cannot be completely sure because of the darkness of the night, he likes to think that Dedue is blushing for being caught, just like he did before. 

“Your Highness... I...” 

Even his voice is low, softer than he is used to. And Dimitri thinks there would be only one way to truly now if Dedue is flustered or not. Get closer. Closer enough that he might see his handsome face in all its details. Before he knows it, he is walking, and stopping in front of him His hands on the sides of his face. Staring intently into his teal eyes... Until he lets his eyes roam down, to his lips. He wonders if he could... He raises his eyes to Dedue's, to ask for permission. But before he knows it, those lips are pressed against his. 

Dedue kisses him. The contact is not gentle as Dimitri imagined. It's deep and it makes him believe that this, this kiss and this passion, is probably what is behind his armor. He feels a shiver run down his spine, a warmth blossoming in his lower stomach and he thinks he would absolutely love for them to have more of those private times. 

Dedue passes his hand through his blond hair and puts an arm around him to pull him even closer. Dimitri complies without efforts. Even less when he uses his own body to make him stumble backward and press him against a tree. That is enough to light a fire in all of his body. For Dedue to kiss him like that and push him against a tree... It is a lot of his fantasies all at once. As he continues to kiss him, Dimitri puts his arms around his neck and tries to return it. But he can only open his mouth and let Dedue slip inside. 

The feeling dominates all of his senses. The warmth of the strong man against his entire body, his soft lips against his, the tongue inside his mouth looking for him, tasting him... That is enough to leave him breathless. He takes in a deep breath through his nose, trying to smell more of Dedue, feel more of Dedue. He tries to press himself harder against Dedue but he finds that he has little room to move, between his massive body and the tree in his back. He can only moan into the the heated kiss. 

The noise seems to shock Dedue. He immediately pulls out, breaking their kiss, but his hands remain where they were. “I... A-Apologize...” He mutters, this time visibly blushing and terribly embarrassed by his lack of control in that situation.

Dimitri has no time to feel ashamed this time, already half-hard. “No... That is... Fine.” He wonders how could Dedue doubts. He must feel his arousal when they are pressed so close together. He truly feels so attracted, when Dedue acts this way, desiring of him. So much that he can't restrain himself from kissing him... He wants it to happen more often. 

“I did not even ask if...”

“You could touch me?” There is a small tremble that he takes as a confirmation. “For the love of the Goddess, yes, Dedue. You can touch me. Anywhere and anytime you wish.” 

He does not measures the entire meaning of those words as they leave his mouth. Maybe a part of him does, and means it. Truly all he thinks about in the moment is how he needs to feel Dedue's lips on him again. 

So he feels the luckiest man alive when his wish comes true. Dedue kisses him again, hard. He doesn't wait for him to part his lips to dive into his mouth and let their tongues dance together. His hands leave his hair and back to slip them lower, down his back. He slides them under his uniform, raising the fabric of his vest and exposing his skin at the coolness of the falling night. Dimitri doesn't mind at all if he looses the warmth of his clothes for the heat of Dedue's hands. 

Dedue's hands press at the small of his back to bring their hips together. Only then Dimitri can feel it perfectly. Dedue is just as excited as he is. He could have guessed it, by the way he kisses him. But now all he thinks about is touching him back, seek that heat for himself. Even more when he feels his hands slide under the waist of his pants, touching his ass and sending shivers across his body. 

He can't kiss him as he wants to, on all the surface of his skin, or at least the skin he can reach. He is satisfied with the way Dedue occupies his lips anyways. So he can only rely on his hands to shower Dedue with affections. He lets them leave his neck to caress his chest though his uniform. He can never grow tired to feel it so solid under his fingers. But that is not what he wants to touch right now. Not when Dedue's hard cock is still pressing against him. This time, he will make sure they reach the peak of their pleasure together. 

Dimitri's hands travel down, freely until he touches his erection through the pants of his uniform. Dedue grunts lowly in his mouth, and his hands leave his ass to grab his hands. Immediately Dimitri regrets his mistake. He misses every contact they had, until Dedue grabs his two wrists with one hand and puts them against the trunk above his head. The motion makes the prince lightheaded. How easy it is for Dedue to keep him like this, how many times did he dream of the exact same situation. 

With his other hand, Dedue touches him. He touches the shape of his dick and shoots pleasure through his whole body. Dimitri shakes under his hands and he can't hold back his muffled sounds of pleasure. Swallowed by Dedue's own mouth... But then his wrists are freed from his hold. He feels confused for a second, before he hears the sound of a belt. And soon his erection is exposed. Dimitri shivers once again, because of the exposure to the cold, but soon enough a strong hand closes around it and makes him shiver for entirely other reasons. 

Dedue begins to move his hand around him, and since Dimitri left his hands above his head, he puts his free hand back around his wrists, holding him there. He strokes his hard member a few times, pulling directly from his lips his moans. Dimitri can not think about the others back at the camp, or hunting in the same forest. How it is not ideal, to touch the other in such a place. All he feels is Dedue around, against and above him. So big, so hot. He wants him more, and his body moves on its own when he pushes his hips, closer, touching him and feeling the hard shape of his erection. This time their shiver is shared. 

Dedue grunts again and slowly, he pulls away from their kiss. Dimitri fears he has done something wrong again. Until Dedue watches him with this hunger, this passion that sends shivers down his spine. Licking his lips, he goes down on his knees. Dimitri lets his hands fall back at his sides as he slowly realizes, and a deep fire continues to grow low in his stomach. 

“Dedue... Y-you do not think of...”

His lips are already on him. Dimitri is swallowed by the feeling, those lips around his member, the wet heat of his mouth... How many times did he dream of that exact same thing? Dedue pulls back a little to try again to take him, and his mind becomes too light. His knees feel too weak to hold his weight. He takes support on the tree in his back and puts his hand on his head, in his silver hair... Dedue hums around him and this time, there is nothing to hold back the prince's moans. Not even his own will. 

Dedue feels too good around him. So hot and wet, he looses himself in the feeling. He bucks his hips only once, deeper into him. But it's enough to take the taller man by surprise. He chokes under the sudden intrusion and pulls back to recover, at the same time that Dimitri recalls what just happened. 

“Oh my... I'm so sorry Dedue I...”

“This is fine.” Dedue interrupts him, and all complains leave Dimitri's mind when he takes him in his hand to replace the loss of his mouth, pumping him slowly. “I apologize I... Am no expert.”

Despite the storm of feeling ravaging his body and mind, Dimitri manages to laugh at those words. He would have guessed so. Dedue said it himself, he had no one with whom he could do those kinds of things before. But for a first try... he really blows his mind. “No you are good. Really... Really good.” Dimitri says, trying to not get lost again in the feeling of Dedue's hand stroking him. 

Dedue watches him for a second, with an expression that would be too complicated to decipher in Dimitri's ecstatic state. But he puts his free hand on Dimitri's, still on his head and caressing his silver hair out of his ponytail, and somehow the gentle touch is warming him just as much as his hand around his cock. “Good... You are too.” 

Before Dimitri can process the words, Dedue swallows him again, even deeper than before. This time his hands are firmly set on his hips to prevent any sudden moves. He bobs his head carefully. He makes sure to open his mouth wide enough to take his prince without hurting him with his teeth, and take him deeper, yet deeper. Until he works enough to be able to take him whole inside. He lets himself swallow around, tasting the bitter liquid dripping in his throat. 

“Dedue. Dedue I- aah... I'm close.” Dimitri warns him, closing his hand on a few strands of his hair. He feels his end coming much sooner than he would have liked, once again. But only now he worries about it. Where to release himself. The only thought of coming directly in Dedue's mouth could be enough to push him over the edge.

Dedue decides to not let him go despite his warning. Or maybe he decides to a little bit too late. Dimitri cannot hold back longer to be completely slipped out of his lips. With a last cry of pleasure he comes in his mouth, on his tongue, his lips, his chin. He has no occasion to feel bad about it. He only comes down his orgasm to see his closest friend slowly licking his lips, tentatively. 

When Dedue stands up, visibly shaken, Dimitri kisses him fully. Without waiting nor caring about the strange mixture shared between their mouths. Only when their lips separate in a wet noise Dedue breathes fully, his hands on his prince's hips. 

Despite what he just did to his prince, Dedue looks only sheepish. “I... It was something I wished to do. I hope you didn't mind...” 

“Of course not, Dedue! How could I possibly?” Dimitri replies, completely taken aback by his friend's insecurity. 

“I apologize I... truly thought that... that one time would be enough.” Dedue admits, his cheeks growing darker.

“I... I thought so too. But maybe... We never had to limit ourselves.” Dimitri confesses, and suddenly it seems that Dedue is incapable of holding his gaze. Dimitri does not let him shelter back away from him. He puts his hands on his cheeks and raises his face enough to be able to kiss him. Finally, Dedue eases into the kiss. 

Dimitri's mind is blown, as well as many other parts of him. Because Dedue touched him. Dedue did something he wanted to do with him. Oh, but he wants so much more of that. “Now...” He murmurs, putting his hand at the front of Dedue's pants, where he can still see clearly his erection. 

Dedue tenses at the contact, his eyes fluttering close and creating an immense satisfaction in Dimitri. But before he can do more, Dedue is smiling at him. “We cannot be much longer. The others will notice our absence.”

“I do not care.” Dimitri replies, but Dedue holds his hand gently and he stops. Maybe he does not care about what the others might think, but he cares about Dedue's feelings. 

“Later...” Dedue murmurs, and the blush growing more intensely on his cheeks does not go unnoticed to the prince. 

As Dedue rearrange Dimitri's pants back on, the prince wipes his semen from his strong jawline, his heart beating loud. It is a proposition that could hold so much more than what it literally means. He can hardly wait to see what they could make of it.


	7. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yikes it's been almost a month since the last update. Truly sorry about that.  
Anyways here's another chapter!

Somehow, the journey back to Garreg Mach seems even more long than the way from. 

On the way to the Gronder Fields, Dimitri had something to focus on, other than Dedue sitting next to him. He could only think about the mock battle to come, remember his opponent's abilities and ways to counter them. But now that they have won, he has nothing to think about but what happened after. The way Dedue held him down against a tree and did what he wanted with him... The feeling of his lips around him... 

He feels his entire body heat up to only think about it. What Dedue did to him... and he still hasn't had the occasion to return the favor. It's probably only because of this that he can't stop to think about the Duscur man sitting right next to him in the carriage taking them back to the Academy. When they are back and settled, at the first occasion, he will... Goddess, it could sound like a threat. He really is unsure of what he should do. That Dedue could reciprocate his attraction, and they could act on it, it is all still so very new to him. 

Suddenly, the carriage stops abruptly in its road. Dimitri looks up, alert and his hand already reaching for his weapon. That is not something that should be happening, and everyone comes to the same conclusion as him, as all the other students are as ready to fight as he is. 

“There is a tree blocking the road.” A knight of Seiros comes to inform their professor. 

“It's a trap.” They simply state, as though their students had not guessed before. They only have to exchange a look with the rest of the students of the Blue Lions. With the entirety of the three houses of the Academy, plus the knights of Seiros, whatever bandit set this up has no chances. 

“So you can take care of this, right?” the knight checks.

Only then Dimitri understands the real reason why this knight came to inform their professor and the students. They expect them to take care of this. It would not be the first time that the students take care of bandits, and probably not the last time either. It would be just more training in real situation. But to Dimitri, it is just a perfect occasion to occupy his mind with other thought than the man sitting so close to him. 

“Oh, thank the goddess...” He murmurs, before he realizes that everyone in the carriage heard him and is now looking at him with incomprehension and mild shock. Feeling embarrassed under the attention, he feels himself quickly thinking about something to say other than the truth. “I-I mean... Fighting off foes is always the best way to improve our skills, right professor?” 

As a reply, the professor only nods and, grabbing their sword, steps out of the carriage. Dimitri is quick to follow them, followed by the rest of his house. They take a few steps to the front of their convoy to inspect the trunk blocking the road, hands on their weapons, as the students from the other houses step out of their own carriages. Byleth raises their eyes to their surrounding, carefully watching for any sudden moves in the vegetation around them. Until their eyes spot something reflecting light in a bush on the side of the road. “Take your positions.” They order, and their students obey. 

The fight is a welcomed distraction from Dimitri's own thoughts. The moment bandits erupt from the forest surrounding their carriage, he takes his battle position and can fully concentrate on the battle he is engaged in. It should be easy enough for them. Their class so often goes on the roads to battle against bandits of the likes. They have the experience and their professor's commands. Furthermore there are the Knights of Seiros not far who can intervene if things go too badly for the students. But they don't move, don't show any worries, so Dimitri thinks it is safe to assume that the fight will be easy.

Even though, no matter the type of fight or foe, no one can lower their guard. The bandits come from the forest all around the students, and even if they are prepared for a lot of difficult situation, they are surrounded. A situation no one wants to be into. This way, the usual organization of the blue Lions has to be modified by their professor. They quickly shout to Felix and Ingrid to go to the rear of the carriage, where they can be quick and effective. Dedue and Dimitri make the front line, and behind them Sylvain Annette and Mercedes support them and defend the flanks. They are all helped by the students of other houses and the professor who also attacks some of the foes coming from the front. 

Students of the Academy were unprepared for battle, thinking they would not have to fight after the end of the battle of the eagle and the lion. They only kept their weapons close, always, to be able to face any eventuality. But they are not wearing their armors. Dedue is not wearing his thick and heavy armor, and for a moment it worries Dimitri about his safety, because he really does not think he would act differently, not trying to block any attacks coming their way for the only reason that his only mean of defense is his axe. 

For that reason, he decides to be a little more active than usual. That is probably the best course of action he could take, he thinks, since the enemies are coming from all around. He steps away from his place just a little bit behind Dedue as he blocks an enemy attack and swings his axe to neutralize him. He breaks the line just enough to reach an archer before he shoots his arrow in his direction. And then another enemy closes in, and he tries to attack before they can, distancing himself a little bit more and more from his vassal, as he tries to keep up with him. 

But even without his armor, Dedue is slower than Dimitri, and he can't quite be with him to protect him correctly. So when he sees this mage about to cast her spell on his Highness, he knows he will be incapable of protecting him correctly. He has no time to run to him in hope of taking the hit in his place, and even less to reach for the enemy before the spell is completed. All he can do is grasp the handle of his axe harder with fear and shout for him. “Your Highness!! Look out!” As the mage's hands glow with the energy of her spell. 

Dimitri turns around at the sound of the voice, but he has no more time to react. He has to brace himself for the spell about to blow in his face, in hopes of dodging or withstanding it. But suddenly there is a slashing sound and the mage falls to the ground, dead. Next her body is the Professor, looking at Dimitri with their neutral expression before resuming their slicing through the enemy. 

Dimitri does not have much time feel glad or thankful. He hears a thud in his back and when he turns around, he sees Dedue standing above another defeated foe with a concerned expression. “Your Highness! Are you unharmed?” 

“Yes, I'm fine. Thanks to the professor.” He says, thinking that his assumptions from earlier where maybe a little arrogant. Even though he does have a lot of experience on the field, he suddenly feels overwhelmed by the enemies coming from all around.

“Stay close to me.” Dedue advises, as he uses his axe to block another attack, effectively acting as his shield. 

Dimitri can only nod, then, and take his place in his back to attack the enemies coming from Dedue's back. When they are fighting like this, back to back, the number of opponent is not as overwhelming as it used to be. Maybe because he can stop to worry about being aware of his entire surrounding, and focus on what is in front of him. He fully trusts Dedue to have his back, and in the meantime he has to have his, make sure to cover his blind spots. They move easily with each other, cutting through the enemies trying to harm them and their classmates. And before Dimitri can even feel a sticking tiredness in his muscles, the fight is over. 

The knights of Seiros gather back the students and make sure no one is hurt too badly before the trip back to the monastery resumes. As he wished before the attack, now Dimitri's thoughts are very different than the ones he had before. He thinks about the way he was so close from getting really hurt in a fight, only because he thought the victory was assured. He can not let himself think like this. He can not be reckless.

For this reason, when he gets back to Garreg Mach, he trains again tirelessly, especially more after he learns about the mission at the end of the month. An epidemic in Remire village, something serious. When he will not have the luxury to slip up like he did on the way back. 

During all his training, Dimitri can't help but be aware of Dedue's absence. A part of him tells him that it is normal, that the Duscur man has other occupations than to always be by his sides, but it does not make him less bothered. He tries to concentrate on his training, telling himself that he surely must be taking care of flowers in the greenhouse as he likes to do, and it is a good thing to do something he likes to relax, after their eventful trip to Gronder Fields. He usually feels calm after a good training session. But somehow, this time, it does not work like usual. Somehow he grows more and more bothered by Dedue's absence and cuts short his training, despite his better judgment, to go look for him. 

He tells himself that it is only natural to want to spend time with Dedue. Their training might be more efficient if they were together, since they always fight together. Memories from their most recent fight come back to him. How it was so much easier to fight, knowing that Dedue was right there next to him, backing him up without failure, and that Dimitri could do the same in return, knowing he had Dedue's utmost trust. They just have that sort of dynamic, in combat, he tells himself. It has nothing to do with memories from earlier yet, the closeness of their bodies, Dedue's eagerness and the promise of later... 

But when he arrives in front of the doors of the greenhouse, he sees Dedue and Ashe talking quietly. It becomes important to the prince to leave them alone, to not bother them. He supposes he is done with his training session anyways, he will be able to see Dedue later. 

Dimitri can't taste food since a long time now, but it does not mean he can't enjoy his meal, especially when he is in such a good company as the one of Dedue and the professor. They sometimes have the occasion to share meals just the three of them, and even if they are not as lively as when all of the blue lions are eating together, the silence is easy and comfortable, and Dimitri greatly enjoy the few words the three of them share. 

“Professor, I was wondering if you had a favorite dish.” Dedue speaks, drawing the attention to him. 

Dimitri is as surprised by the question as their professor, who looks at Dedue for a moment before they reply. “I don't think I have one, why?”

“I said I would cook you something.” Dedue reminisces them of one of their very first interaction here at Garreg Mach. 

Dimitri does not appreciate the feeling crawling inside his chest, too close to envy to his liking. The lowest amount of reflexion tells him why he would feel this way at those words. Because he could never taste Dedue's cooking. Because he wished he was the one Dedue would cook for. But he knows it is an irrational thought, because he thinks he would only have to ask for Dedue to obey. And maybe that is the issue. He would like it to be of his own volition. That Dedue would only have the impulse to want to... 

But he doesn't even know why would Dedue want to cook something for their professor. He truly dislikes to feel this way, to want to be at the center of his attention, when he already takes so much of his time. 

“That is very kind.” The professor replies with a smile. “But you don't have to.”

“I said I would do it.” Dedue insists. “As a token of my gratitude, for when you saved his Highness back then. And more recently only a few days ago when I could not.”

Oh... Dimitri feels foolish. About the thoughts he had just before. Dedue was again thinking about him, of course he was. He never should have felt jealous of the gesture in the first place.

“We're all protecting each other.” The professor replied, having difficulties to receive Dedue's thanks. For that, they turne their gaze to the prince. “And while we're on the topic... Dimitri, you should not have left your position.” 

Dimitri almost jumps when he realizes he is talked to. He knew he would have to face this reprehension at some point. He made a bad decision and he was lucky that there were no consequences to his thoughtless action. “I'm... sorry. I did not feel comfortable letting Dedue take all the hits when he did not have his equipment, so I wanted to pierce to enemy's lines and scatter them but... I know this is not a good enough answer. I won't do it again.”

The professor nods to his excuses, able to see clearly his regrets and the honesty in his words when he says that he won't do this again. “That is what I want to hear. But you know there is a reason I put Dedue and you on the front lines like I do. You two work really well together. I trust your team without failure.” 

Their professor's words make a feeling blossom in his chest. Something running deep but very light at the same time. A certainty he always had, and told times and times again. But hearing it from someone else, someone whose opinion he values as much as the professor's... it makes it real outside of his own feelings. 

Because of that, he dares to take a quick glance in Dedue's direction, only to directly meet those two teal eyes staring back at him. He could be projecting the emotion he sees there, but he thinks it is real, and they both share it. They both remember perfectly how easy it is to move together.

The clash of training blades echoes in the training field, in the cooling air of the falling evening. 

After their discussion the Professor reminded their students of the importance to fight alongside other people and be able to rely on each other. For this reason, Dimitri, Dedue, Felix and Ingrid decided to train in a battle of two against two. One lance in each pairing, and from there the groups were made organically. 

Felix is a quick attacker, assaulting Dimitri and Dedue without respite, while his teammate Ingrid tries to keep up with his fast pace and land a few blows of her own. Dedue is doing the same as he ever does on the battle field, trying to block as many hits as possible and trying to retaliate, even though Felix is much too fast for him to hope to touch him. Thankfully the rule of the game is not the number of hits, but disarming the other team. Dedue stay solidly anchored on the ground. His stance and grip on his weapon could not be broken by any hit. 

They both move easily together. While Dedue tries to attract most of the two knights focus, Dimitri slips next to him and swings his lance directly in Felix's hands as he is landing another blow. His training blade flies off from his aching fingers with mutters resembling of curses. Ingrid uses the occasion to attack Dimitri in return, and the prince has no choice but take the hit with a refrained grunt of pain. Dedue takes the opportunity to raise his axe and bring it down in a strong motion, so powerful that when Ingrid rearrange her stance to face him and block his attack, it only breaks her lance in two. 

She has to take a few steps backwards to not fall on the ground, and stare at her broken weapon with disbelief. “Well... I suppose it means defeat.” She resigns, looking apologetically at her partner who is only frowning in frustration. 

“We would have won if the boar was not hiding behind Dedue waiting for an opening.” Felix grumbles, picking up his training sword from the ground. 

Dimitri looks up at Dedue with a smile, satisfied with their victory. It always comes so simply to him to trust Dedue, in battle and in every thing else. He tries to ignore the dizzy feeling in his chest when Dedue gives him back the same smile. 

“Yes, that is called teamwork.” Ingrid replies, throwing away her broken lance. “You know? The exact thing our professor asked us to work on?” 

Felix doesn't reply anything. Everyone here knows that it is exactly the thing he has the most difficulties with. He can sprint on the flanks and get rid of any enemies fine during a battle, but he truly struggles to adapt his fighting style with someone else's when they need to work together to defeat a stronger foe. Their professor's assignment is a lot for him.

Dedue decides to change the subject, looking up at the darkening sky, and feeling the air getting colder by the minute. “It is time for dinner. We should get to the dining hall.”

Ingrid nods with enthusiasm, already walking to the rack, and Dimitri suspects that she must have been hungry for a little bit of time now. But he does not feel hungry at all. He can only look down at the weapon in his hands, and think about the fight that just happened. He loves how Dedue and him make a great team, but there is still something bothering him in this dynamic. He really cannot accept that Dedue would get hurt because of him. He understands that if he wants it to happen as little as possible, he does not have a thousand options. He has to be better, stronger, to take down any enemies before they could hurt them. 

“I would like to train some more.” He informs his friends. “But you can go ahead.” 

“I shall stay with you then.” Dedue states. 

Dimitri turns to him, already ready to tell him that he does not need to, that he can eat without waiting for him. But he can see in his face that there is no use in complaining. He would not dare to do so, after feeling so weird the last time he was not around Dedue. If he follows his instincts about his vassal, he thinks that he may want to stay with him just to make sure that he will not skip diner as he often does. Dimitri cannot feel bad for taking his time and attention, if all he wants to do is take care of him. Or... Well he can only hope that it is what he wants, and not what he thinks is his duty.

“Alright then.” Felix puts his training sword back in the rack, ready to leave. 

“Try not to progress too much without us.” Ingrid says. “As a knight, I need to be able to protect your Highness, not the other way around.”

“Ah... You need not worry about this.” Dimitri tells her, smiling softly. Her ideal of knighthood has a great importance in her life, but every time someone speaks of protecting him, he cannot help but feel guilty. For someone to sacrifice their life for his safety is the last thing he wants. “As long as I am with Dedue on the battlefield, I feel that there is little to worry about, for the both of us. Focus on your own progress and safety.”

Ingrid looks at him and Dedue for a short moment, before she nods, smiling, and walks away after Felix. Dimitri grabs his training lance and turns back to Dedue, who is always looking at him with... He tries to not put words onto this look. He needs to focus. 

“I wanted to train on my lance technique. I don't know what you wanted to do...”

“I will spar with you.” Dedue replies, swinging his training axe in front of him. 

Dimitri takes his positions, satisfied with the decision. He always has more difficulties against foes wielding axes than any other. “Very well then.”

Dimitri springs forward, and the sounds of battle resume in the training grounds. In the cold night, getting more and more freezing as the year reaches its end, their battling movements keep them warm. The prince focuses fully on his opponent, his stance, the movements of his arms and weapon, where he looks. He tries to read his intentions, and finds that he has no difficulties to focus, this time. He cannot land a good hit, though. All of his attacks are countered or meaningless against Dedue's resistance. 

But he can see him getting tired as time passes and they exchange more and more passes. “We should... take a break.” He proposes. He does not want to tire his partner. He doubts he will meet enemies out of stamina on the battlefield. And he would be lying if he said he did not feel the tiredness in his muscles. 

Dedue nods. He lowers his weapon and they both just stand in the middle of the training grounds, catching their breaths. The taller man puts the blade of his axe in the sand, keeping the handle in hands. He leans on his weapon, trying to control his breathing. Dimitri admits that he did not go easy on him, but they are here to train, after all. Not to fool around. 

Though... Now that he does not fight anymore, his thoughts escape his careful control. He watches his companion, his silver hair reflecting the white light of the moon as a few strands escaped his ponytail and frame his face, the sweat reflecting the flickering lights of the torches lit all around the training ground, the raising and falling of his chest, the red of his cheeks caused by the effort and his lips parted... His mind takes him a few days back, when Dedue had the same face, kneeling in front of him. When his heavy breathing was warming his... 

Goddess no, he cannot have such thoughts. Not here and now. He quickly adverts his eyes, trying to think of anything to do or say to keep his mind off such territories. “I... I believe we are making a lot of progress. The professor's advices are always so on the spot. We are quite the team.” 

Not... too different, this is still about Dedue and him. But he supposes it will have to do to distract him.

“You were saying this the other day...” Dedue says, drawing Dimitri's attention back to him. “When we are together we are unstoppable...” 

Dimitri remembers perfectly what he said that day, after their victory, and before he took Dedue into the woods where they... No, he focuses on Dedue's words. Unstoppable together... He believes it more and more. As they move so easily together when they fight, as they win every thing with each other, as he feels so much more brave when he knows Dedue is around. Oh, isn't he so selfish to want him by his sides all the time? 

Together... Dimitri feels giddy at the implications, and what it could mean. Oh he could take it in any ways he wants. But most of him wants it in only one way. “Then... Then I will not do it again. I will make sure to remain with you. We have to stay together.” 

“I agree...” 

Dimitri smiles to himself, he is not sure Dedue really understands the entire meaning he put into his words. But it does not matter in the end. He is not sure he would be ready to assume them either. He just felt warm at the idea that they would always be together. Something that they had promised each other a long, long time ago, when they had just lost so much and only had each other left. But today, in this academy, as they have grown up and are much more conscious of... a lot of things... being together sound a lot different now than it did for a child. 

“We should resume our training.” Dedue's voice brings him back to reality. 

“Of course.” Dimitri agrees. 

They take their weapons in hands, ready to attack again. But Dimitri feels as if he can't focus anymore. Or rather, not on the correct thing. When before he could concentrate on Dedue's stance and the way he moved his weapon, now he can only stare at his face and body... He damn his wondering mind. 

“Your Highness?” 

Dimitri eyes snap back to Dedue's face, and he sees again on his face a crimson shade, but he is not sure of it is because of exhaustion or because he noticed his intensive staring that had nothing to do with training. The prince shakes his head, trying to physically push the parasite thoughts away, and grabs his weapon harder. One more exchange and they should go to the dining hall before it closes. He only has to make it quick. 

He nods to inform Dedue that he is ready, and the bigger man jumps on him. Dimitri is quicker to react this time. Because his mind is screaming at him to be quick. Quickly put an end to this training session and collect his thoughts in a calm environment. He counterattacks before his training partner has the time to land his blow, and before he knows it he hits with the strength of the Blaiddyd crest running in his veins. The tip of his training lance hits Dedue's stomach at full strength, sending him stumbling backward. The shock of the blow knocks all the wind out of him and his fists open around his weapon.

It hits the ground in a soft thud, just a fraction of second before Dimitri's own weapon. “Dedue!” He calls and runs to him, terrified of what he's just done. 

Dimitri never wanted to hurt him, not Dedue... Admittedly, they were training. But this is never meant to hurt. When he looks up to his training partner's face, he sees all his colors are drained and he is obviously in pain. Such a powerful hit, even with only a training weapon... 

“Do... Do not worry your Highness... I am alright.” Dedue tries to calm him down, trying to catch his breath as Dimitri brings his attention back to the wounded area in the middle of his abdomen. 

“Let me...” He asks, not waiting before putting his hands on him. He lift the hem of his uniform to be able to look at his wound, where the skin is red and bruised, even as Dedue repeats that it is nothing. Out of worry and too many other things, he lets his hands touch his skin.

“I assure you this is nothing to... ah...” Dedue trails off, and when Dimitri suddenly looks back, he sees a persistent blush across his cheeks, even as his tries to hide it with his hand. It hits Dimitri only then, that he indeed has his hands on Dedue's waist, his thumbs lightly grazing the skin of his stomach, even if it is unconsciously... He truly could not even control his own hands, how embarrassing. “Truly sorry your... Highness...”

But Dimitri stares into Dedue's eyes, and Dedue stares back, and... he could not have imagined the fire that sparkled between them, just now. “I...” He clears his throat, as he tries to clear his mind of Dedue's body, naked in his bed under him. “I should take care of this... in your room?” 

Dedue only nods as an answer, but that is all Dimitri needs to quickly take his hands off him and gather his things to leave the training grounds. 

They are both quickly settled in Dedue's room, with only their pants on to take care of each other's scars. As they usually do, they are both seating on the bed, facing each other. Dimitri focuses on doing just as he said he would. He tries to treat Dedue's wound as best as he can, spreading healing ointment on the bruised skin applying as little pressure as he can. 

He also tries very hard to not notice Dedue staring. He could be imagining the meaning of his gaze. It would not be the first time that he misunderstands Dedue's intentions. So instead, when the totality of the bruised surface is covered in the mixture, he checks. “Does it still hurt?” 

“No.” Dedue replies, looking directly into his eyes. And Dimitri changes his mind and thinks that he should be very blind to misunderstand the dark blush painted across his cheeks, the parting of his lips. 

Dimitri is too weak-willed to deny him anything in that instant. Not as he remembers the last intimate moment they shared. He could not return to favor to Dedue, when he had made him feel so good. He thinks it the perfect moment to retaliate. He lets his body move forward and take Dedue's lips in a kiss. 

Dedue replies in the second, moving his mouth on his. He receives his kiss and gives back, with the same want he felt in that forest. So Dimitri's hands travel up his body, from his stomach to his sides, he caresses the skin covered in various traces of battle. Gently. Or, as gently as he could. He feels him parting his lips further, inviting and welcoming.

But Dimitri feels cruel enough to make him wait. He parts their lips and returns Dedue's interrogating eyes with a sly smile. He stands up from the bed and walks around him to settle back in his back, pouring more ointment onto his fingers. This is out of concern, for his safety, because he cannot bear the idea of Dedue hurting. Not because he thinks Dedue can hold on a little while, when he has been holding off for what seems like too long. 

Dedue does not protest, he does not try to chase him or even moves when Dimitri puts his fingers on the skin of his back. He does not even asks, he just takes. It makes a part of Dimitri feel a little bit uncomfortable, but the other part believes that if he needed to say something, he would just do it. For now, he is only being patient. 

As Dimitri tries very hard to be. He runs his wet fingers on the rough skin of his scarred back, using all his control to not let them wonder lower, under the cloth still covering Dedue's ass. He keeps his eyes on his fingers and his work, ignoring how his own pants feel tighter, how the warmth of the skin beneath his finger pads makes him want to feel it more, against all of his naked body. 

Dimitri truly tries to keep his focus on his task of taking care of Dedue's body, but he cannot. Not when the other man is too receptive to his every touches. He sees that he tries, too, to keep himself under control. His body is unmoving, but he cannot control his shivers under Dimitri's fingers. And when the blond tries to look at his face from behind, he can see his head slightly bowed, his eyes closed in concentration, his lips shivering... 

Dimitri feels as though his chest was glowing from the inside, as he realizes that maybe... he does have the same effect on Dedue that Dedue has on him. Only, the duscur man has a much better self control than him, and manages to keep it in check better. 

Suddenly his task appears as very futile. Why should he put this ointment on Dedue's scars if he can just hold him? So that is exactly what he does. He slides his hands on the side of his wide body, holding his waist as he gives in to one of the only things he wanted to do the first time Dedue put in his hands his naked back. He moves his body closer to Dedue, ignoring for just a little bit more the discomfort between his legs. He bends his neck and puts his lips on Dedue's nape, softly kissing the tender skin there. 

“Your... Highness...” Dedue tries to say, his breath uneven.

“Dimitri.” The blond corrects him, before he kisses the skin once again. He presses his lips a little harder, parts only slightly his lips to let his breath ghost over the skin and the goosebumps raising just at the contact. He cannot help but smile, as Dedue shudders in response. “Would you like to lie down?” He proposes, still speaking against his body. 

Dedue's reaction is immediate. He lies down on his bed on his stomach, partially hiding his face against his pillow while Dimitri rearrange his position to climb on him, straddling his lower back. His breath hitches when he feels the solid warmth of Dedue's body between his thighs. He feels the other man tense under him, too, certainly feeling his erection as he lean down to be able to resume his kissing. 

Dimitri puts his lips on his neck, his shoulder blades, and everywhere he can reach, until he stops right above one of Dedue's scars. He remembers then that he did came to take care of them, in the first place. They both perfectly knew it was only a pretext, but still, Dimitri wants to take care of him. He wants to do anything he can to stop Dedue from hurting. He delicately places his lips on the mutilated flesh, as lightly as he can, and he gets as an answer a full body shiver. 

He pulls away, to only stare at Dedue's body trapped between his thighs. How many nights he dreamed of this moment. But right now is not about him or his fantasies. Though it is hard to separate this situation from his fantasies since it is exactly one of them. This moment is about Dedue. It is only to bring him pleasure. 

He puts his weight on his knees on the both sides of Dedue's hips and lifts himself up for his hands to reach his lower back. He lets his hands wonder on his warm skin, appreciating the texture sometimes rough on the plains of his body, sometimes so smooth in hidden corner that he can only hope he is the only one to see. He relishes in the way Dedue's body reacts to each and every one of his touches, so sensitive... Of maybe because he is already too ready for him, just like Dimitri. 

Finally, he slides his hands under the waist of his pants and undergarment. One only light pull has the other man raising his hips from the mattress to facilitate his gesture. Almost impatiently... Dimitri pulls the cloth fully out of the way. He wants it. He sees it only now but he wants it maybe just as bad as he does. He has to take a moment to breath out after the realization. 

“Oh... Dedue...” Dimitri murmurs, grabbing his own clothes to take them off as quickly as possible before he can embrace again his... Dedue. He does not reply, but hides more intently his face away from his prince, which only make him feel warmer. A different kind of warmth running through his lower stomach, but just as welcomed. 

Dimitri settles behind him, holding his hips so they are at level with his... He has to stop for a moment, thinking about what he wants to do. Well... want... It is not a matter of want, not really. Dedue is completely naked and erect before him, his ass presenting itself so nicely. But he sees his tight hole, so... untouched. He does not think he could get inside him tonight. And he isn't even sure of he is ready. If either of them are ready. Even if they were, even if he pushed himself into Dedue tonight, in the state he is in, he does not think he would hold much longer. Tonight's aim is to make Dedue feel good, not himself. 

Dimitri remembers then a fantasy of his. When Dedue would hold him from behind and thrust against his ass... yes, that would do very nicely, he thinks. When he finally decides on what to do, he meets Dedue's eyes, looking back at him with questions. Dimitri only smiles back at him and positions himself so his cock is settled between his ass. He did not think Dedue could blush harder, yet he sees it, right before he puts his face against his pillow again and moves his hips to make them meet Dimitri's. 

“Ah- Dedue...” Dimitri moans, the friction exquisite. His hands grab harder the other man's waist and he snaps back his hips forward to seek more of it. Again and again before he remembers what he was thinking about just a moment ago. Goddess, this man can really make him loose his focus. 

He presses their hips flush together, reaching for Dedue's hard member with his hand. He hears the muffled sound through the fabric of the pillow, but Dedue cannot quiet down his body's reaction. The way his hips move by themselves to seek more of that contact. Dimitri wants to give it to him. He does not have to ask, even though he thinks there is nothing he would love more than to hear Dedue ask him for this. 

“Dedue... is this good?” Dimitri asks, stroking his hard member a few times, at a slow pace. He watches his head intently, the jerkily movement but since he did not hear anything... he keeps it like that, so painfully slow, when even him wants nothing more but to stroke him harder. Feel more of that solid warmth between his fingers, unravel him with his touch only... 

Dedue finally turns his head, enough to make eye contact with Dimitri, and it is enough to make his grasp around him tighten and the other man moan. “Y-Yes.... Ah... Your... good” He pants, moving his hips again and this time, settling for a regular pace. He lets himself fuck into Dimitri's fist and slide against his hard cock against his ass, grasping the pillow tighter to muffle his sounds. 

“L-Let me... Let me hear you.” Dimitri says between two gasps, trying to move his hand in rhythm with Dedue's movements. 

He is rewarded by the most delicious moan he could imagine. Dedue's low rasp of voice filling his ears and the entire room. “Ah... P-Please...”

“Yes...? What do you want?”

“I... I want to... feel you. A-Against me.” Dedue grunts as Dimitri strokes him yet harder, always trying to push him to his climax. But suddenly he forgets that he needs to do it. Dedue wants to... 

He pulls away from him, separating their bodies for just a fraction of seconds but a time that seems way too long. When he sinks between Dedue's thighs, sliding their erection together, they both sigh with contempt and relief. From there, it's so easy to only move together. Dimitri opens his palm and tries to take them both but soon he finds another sources of warmth around his hand and his cock. Dedue's hand, holding them together. The both of them holding together as they move with an irregular rhythm. 

Dimitri feels his own body shivering and trembling with pleasure, his legs soon almost too weak to only push against Dedue. His hand holding tight only because of Dedue's hand holding with him. He lets his body fall forward. He lets his chest press against Dedue's back and his lips find back Dedue's skin, trailing light kisses wherever he can reach. His nape, his shoulder blades, the corner of a scar. 

He holds him. They hold together. And a part of him never wants to let go. But the others, way less romantic and dramatic tell him that he is just on the verge of doing so, and that he promised himself that he would not. Not before Dedue. So he brings his lips as far as he can, breathes in Dedue's scent and lets in invades his senses, lets his low grunts fill his ears as he pleads. “Come... Come for me Dedue. Please.” 

He cannot even be sure that he is heard. To Dimitri, everything is Dedue. His hot skin brushing against him, his low moans of pleasure and gasps and panting. He does not think he is loud enough to be heard. And yet. Then his breath is more precipitated, his moans more high pitched and his movements sloppier. And then, he feels him empty himself in their hands. 

“Ah! Y-Yes...!” Dimitri follows quickly behind, after only a few pumps of their fists. He kisses Dedue's neck his mouth open. Or maybe he only settles for licking his skin, but he is unsure through the haziness of his mind after his orgasm. 

“Y-Your Highness...” Dedue's voice brings him violently into his room. Because of that title, again. He slowly pulls himself up, freeing Dedue from his embrace, and watches him extract himself from his bed while trying to bother his prince as little as possible. 

All of this... is quite a violent return to reality, as Dimitri remembers with discomfort that not once he heard Dedue say his name. Curses everything, but he cannot believe Dedue would still see him only as his Highness after all the times they were so intimate with each other... As he is still naked in his bed and Dedue is cleaning their come from his sheets and their bodies. 

Dimitri begins to think that maybe, it might never change. No matter how much he wants it. Dedue might only accept their closeness during these private moments, but not outside. The rest of the time, they would always only be a prince and his vassal. 

But no, it is a great situation for them both, Dimitri convinces himself. If they keep this up. That way he can explore his fantasies without letting them pent up in his mind and become too present in his mind. He can at least share them with Dedue and pleasure him in return. And that is all he should ask for.


	8. Steadying Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've put this fic aside for a very long time x)  
But I'm back! Or so I hope. I have a few chapters ready and the layout of the rest of the story but it all depends on my ability to actually write them.   
Goddess give me strength.  
Anyway, I really hope you like this chapter!

Dimitri isn't sure anymore if this whole situation is a blessing or a curse. 

Parts of him are ready to tell him that he is so selfish to wonder, that of course it is a chance he should never have asked for. How can he hold Dedue close, closer than anyone, and still feel somewhat... unsatisfied?

It is not the times they spend together that he has a problem with. Far from it. After their return from the Gronder Fields, they settled for some kind of.. agreement. It is common now that they gather in his room or Dedue's to give in to their desires. Or even in dark corners of the Monastery when they did not have the time to retreat to their rooms. Dedue would go down on his knees before him, or they would quickly use of their hands. 

What leaves Dimitri with an empty feeling in his chest is always the aftermath. After feeling so close to Dedue and warmed up, when he is inevitably left alone. He doesn't even know what he expects anyway. It is not as if Dedue could just stay with him in his bed and they could sleep close to each other. It is not as if they could be closer than when they are pressed skin on skin, kissing open mouthed and bringing the other to their climax. 

Dimitri has no ideas of what he wants, or what could fill that void in his heart. But he tries to understand, because he cannot believe that he could be so unsatisfied when all his fantasies are becoming reality. Well... He knows there are a lot of them and they haven't yet tried all of the things they could do. Maybe that's what is bothering him. Maybe he is only impatiently waiting for all the rest, all the things they haven't yet tried together, in the intimacy of their rooms. 

He tries to think about the thing he would like to try the most. His mind always takes him to Dedue's arms. How he would love to be only nestled in his strong embrace and never move away again. How he would love nothing more but for his partner to tell him what he wants from him and to only take it. Dimitri would let him gladly. He wants nothing more than his happiness and he feels that if Dedue were to ask him, Dimitri would accept about anything. Everything, really. 

“What would you want to do?” 

Dedue's low voice brings him out of his thoughts. Dimitri looks down to the young man pined under him and in his bed, half naked and lips red from his kisses. When he sees Dedue in this state, trapped between his thigh, he forgets all the rest. He forgets the Academy outside of the door of his room. He forgets his duties and Dedue's duties, that convince him that in the future they could never be more than a king and his vassal. He forgets why he feels a pit in his heart. He also forgets to reply to his question.

Dedue arches an eyebrow, his hands traveling from his hips to his shoulders to look at him with a little bit of worry. “Is there a problem?” 

Only then Dimitri shakes his head, and tears his eyes away from his plump lips to look into his questioning eyes. “I... don't know. Anything you'd like.” He replies truthfully, thinking the same thing as before Dedue draw his attention. Anything Dedue wants, he'd love to do it.

“I-I don't really...” He lies, and Dimitri sees right through it. In the way his eyes widen the slightest and he adverts his eyes. 

“No, tell me. I want to know what you are thinking about.” 

“W... well there is...” Dedue closes his eyes and breathes in slowly. 

Dimitri can feel his body tense between his legs. Whatever he is thinking about, he must not feel entirely comfortable with it. Or maybe he thinks it inappropriate. The thought makes him feel out of his own body. He never wished to force Dedue into anything, and too often he verifies if he is alright with everything they do, even if it's been a few weeks since they've tried anything new. Maybe this is what is on Dedue's mind, and his own mind. Maybe that is the cause of his discomfort, when there are still so many things to explore together. 

Dimitri shifts his weights on his legs to be able to lift his arms from the mattress around Dedue's head. He puts his right hand on the side of his face, stroking tenderly his skin. “I thought that after so many times you made me come undone, there was no more unmentionable things between us.” He murmurs, and even if he knows it is not a very fair move to use, he knows it will works when his thumb slowly traces Dedue's cheekbone. 

He takes in another breath, not to calm his nerves this time, but to speak up. “I w-was thinking about... penetration.” 

Oh... Dimitri's mouth is slack open and he can only stare at Dedue's scarlet face. He even thinks he can feel the heat growing under his fingers because of how hard he is blushing. But the idea is... a good one. A really good one. Dimitri would be lying if he said he never thought about it. He would be lying if he said that he never wondered how Dedue's fingers would feel, slowly opening up, or if he insisted that he never wondered of he could really take all of him inside. 

“You wish to fuck me.” He says instead. 

Dedue looks at him, mortified livid and blushing furiously at the same time. “N-I... I would never dare to... doing this sort of thing to a member of-”

“Dedue.” Dimitri cuts him, disapproving of what he was about to say. He knows it. He knows it all too well. In the way people treat him outside of these walls, and even Dedue, his closest friend, in those moments when he is nothing more but a simple young man with his desires.

“Apologies... I was only thinking...” Dedue tries to make up for the pain too clear in his prince's eyes.

It tears Dimitri a little more apart, to realize that even in the intimacy of their room, where they are pressed flush against each other and talking about what they wish to do to the other, Dedue seems to still think about their statuses. Dimitri only wishes for him to say it. Say that he wants to be inside of him and he would accept. He would... He would enjoy it. But he does not say it, and Dimitri is... He doesn't understand why himself cannot form the words. Why can't he admit that he wants Dedue to be in charge and to take his body... 

So instead, he offers the only other alternative to Dedue's confession. “Do you want me inside?” Dedue only nods. “I... had thoughts of the same nature.”

Dedue looks at him with surprise, but then there is another light in his eyes that reminds Dimitri more of the same desire that is burning hotter and hotter in his core. To be the one embracing his dearest friend... 

“But we do not have the necessary to... for preparation.” Dedue explains. 

Dimitri looks at Dedue with a form of surprise. He thinks he knows what he means, but he did not think he would know about all the logistics. Himself had to stumble by chance upon a book written by one of their classmate to grasp the whole preparation that had to be done before a man could fully enjoy another man's body. He doubts seriously that Dedue could put his hands on Bernadetta's writing. But the issue stays the same. Before they can do anything more... they would need to have in their possession the correct equipment. That is when he remembers what he used when he fantasized about Dedue inside of him.

“W-While it is true that we do not have something specialized...” Dimitri begins, but he stops in the middle of his sentence. 

He feels suddenly self-conscious about his... alone activities. Would Dedue disapprove of it? He could think lowly of him if he knew that he used a medical ointment to finger himself. But he remembers then, that the man he is talking about is Dedue. The only one who will never judge him, about anything probably. Even if he did the most unspeakable things. 

Dimitri thinks he can only show him. If Dedue does not feel comfortable using only the ointment, they do not need to push it further. Even if he is not sure of the difference between the mixture and a lubricant specialized for this utilization. 

“Wait a moment.” He tells him and sits back on his heels with the idea to stand up.

But the feeling of Dedue's erection right against his rear stops him in his train of thoughts. There are not many things separating their naked flesh. They are both almost entirely naked safe for their undergarments. But the solid and hot shape between his ass is enough to make his body shiver, even through layers of clothing. He cannot resist the urge he has to grind back against it, pressing their bodies closer and receiving as a reward Dedue's startled moaning. 

Dimitri wants to drink it directly from his lips, and he does not waste a second to give in to his impulse. He surges forward to take Dedue's mouth in an open kiss as he moves his hips again against him. Dedue's hard shape fits so good between his thighs it is almost too much to take. He is so hard. He wants him so much. So much that the only sensation of it pressing his entrance makes him gasp and his body shake with desire and anticipation. 

Dedue's reply to his kiss is hesitant, and that is the only thing that makes him stop in his action. He separates their mouths but carefully keeps their lower parts pressed together with one final motion. He watches Dedue's expression with attention. The way it closes in restrained pleasure and then opens up again, curious. 

“That was what you wanted me to wait for?” He asks, his gaze burning into Dimitri's skin. But he tries to not think about it too much and remembers what he was trying to accomplish before feeling Dedue's cock pressing against him. While it seemed to be very good for the both of them, they did agree on one thing for tonight. They will have later occasions for the rest.

Reluctantly, he pushes himself off Dedue and off the bed to walk to his desk, where he keeps a part of the ointments. When he turns back to his company, the bottle in hands, he cannot help but pause for a moment. Just a short instant. The time to truly admire what is given to him. Dedue is laying on his bed, on his back. His body is completely naked except for the last piece of clothing covering his crotch but that, honestly, leaves nothing to Dimitri's imagination. 

His dearest friend is fully erect, and the shape of his cock is barely contained by his undergarment. His chest is bared for Dimitri to see and touch and hold and he can barely contain the urge to return to his previous his place to squeeze it between his thighs, run his hands on his bulky muscles and put his lips on any surface available. He catches Dedue's eyes staring at him just the same, and he realizes that they are in the exact same position. Craving the other's body and slowly realizing that they can, in fact, have it. 

But Dimitri thinks that Dedue, speaking of taking their interactions a little further, has unlocked something in their relationship. Or, the prince can only hope so. Dedue is willing to give him everything tonight, and even if Dimitri wanted to do the same thing, he supposes that he was just braver than him and proposed first. He will take for tonight, once again. But he will make sure to give just as much. 

He puts the bottle of ointment on his desk, just to free his hands. Just for the time to pull out his last piece of clothing to stand entirely naked under Dedue's intense gaze. He imagines being bolder than he ever dared to be, and ask him if what he sees pleases him. He settles on grabbing the bottle again and making his way back to him. “Will this be good for you?” 

Dedue eyes tear apart from his prince's body to actually look at what he is holding. He cannot hold the little frown when he recognizes that it is the ointment they usually use to take care of each other's scars. He supposes that... the texture of the mixture is an adequate one. Safe enough. He is the one who made it so he knows what is inside and it is used on wounds, so not something that would hurt on itself. Only... Similarly to Dimitri's first tries with it as a lubricant, he wonders if they could really use this to stretch his ass and then be able to look at it during the scar-caring session without thinking about it. He has the feeling that he could probably not. He would never be able to forget. 

But he is already aching for his prince's hands on him, ever since he said it. Inside him... He wants to feel him closer. He wants to welcome him inside and hold him closer than he ever could.   
“What do you think?” He managed to keep his voice even to ask, as he uses all of his focus to look his prince in the eyes and not let his gaze wonder lower to his erection. 

“I...” Dimitri feels his blush return. “It was efficient enough when I... tried alone.”

It hits Dedue. The realization that his prince would try such a thing on his own... He wonders when. Was it before they begun the whole affair? Or after? He hopes that is was not after. He would have loved nothing more but to help. To feel his prince open around his fingers... But now all he thinks about is getting his prince inside of him. He extends his hand to him and, touching the hand holding the bottle of ointment, he beckons him back on the bed.

Dimitri obliges easily. He hardly sees how he could possibly decline the offer when he sees Dedue's eyes darken at the only implication that he used to finger himself. That means... too many things. That he has not the time to think about when Dedue parts his thighs to welcome his prince. Dimitri sits between his legs and removes his last piece of clothing, revealing him entirely to his only greedy eyes. 

But when he sees his friend entirely naked, in that angle, he freezes for an instant. Dedue is so willing for him, spreading on his bed to invite him. He has the sensation that he is in a dream again. It cannot be real. A single man cannot hold so much beauty in him when he lays naked under his gaze. Dedue is magnificent tonight, so much it makes Dimitri's heartbeat stop during a second. But then he feels those eyes looking right inside him, ever so patiently. And he remembers that he has a task at hands. 

He brushes the inside of Dedue's thighs with the back of his hands, wondering. The skin there is satin like under his touch. A part of him still preserved from traces of work or war. Dimitri hopes it will stay this way forever. He hopes that the only thing that ever reaches these parts of Dedue are his hands. 

Dedue jumps a little bit at the contact on these parts of him that are so sensitive. His legs move yet further apart and the skin beneath Dimitri's skin rises in a timid shiver. It continues its course right through him, through his skin and through his core. 

“Oh, Dedue...” Dimitri sighs, not holding back his sudden need to lean in, closer. Hold his leg with one hand and stroke his delicate skin with his lips. Here, his musk is much stronger, more more inebriating. He kisses the flesh delicately, appreciates the texture against his mouth and open it to get more inside. He cannot taste the man, but he is convinced that there could not be better flavor to enjoy in this world. 

“I know we are not in a hurry, B-But... ” Comes Dedue's troubled voice, trembling as Dimitri lets his tongue get a taste of the sweet texture of his skin. 

His words interrupt him. Because of Dedue's request. That is how he takes it, at least. A request to be quick, stop teasing him. His ever patient demeanor breaking only a little bit, and all it takes is Dimitri's mouth on his thighs. “Of course.” 

Dimitri lets his breath ghost one last time over his flesh before he stands up again, sitting on his heels to pour some of the mixture on his fingers. He rubs them together a moment, to get the feeling of it, to let it drip on the length. Then he pushes himself up, on his knees between Dedue's legs and a hand supporting him near his hip. His fingers wet, he brings them slowly to his partner's ass. The only contact makes him gasp, and Dimitri has to stop. He wonders if Dedue is going to be so sensitive and vocal all night long. If such a light touch from his fingers make him voice so sweet noises, and if all of them make Dimitri's body sparkle the same way... he has not even slipped a finger inside, and they want to make his entire cock fit. He hopes he will be able to hold until then. 

He finds his entrance. The tip of his finger hovers over it and Dedue's thighs tense immediately at the feeling. Dimitri's eyes leave Dedue's body then. He tears his gaze away from the wonderful parts of him that please him so much, and looks into his eyes, looking for any kind of uncertainty. He finds none. Only encouragement and passion. The last push to slip his finger inside. 

He passes the ring of muscles easily. His finger is immediately squeezed in Dedue's hot channel. The way the young man quivers at the intrusion leaves him too light-headed. He pushes his fingers deeper. It slides with ease thanks to the mixture making his finger so wet and slick. He pulls it back and in again, listening with interest to Dedue's gasps and ragged breaths. No words to tell him to stop. He drowns in the sweet noises, invading his ears and soon his whole body, leaving him almost trembling with expectation. 

When he thinks it is enough with one finger, he pushes the tip of another at the entrance, strokes the rim just to see how Dedue would react. He is tensing again, before relaxing slowly, as if retaking his control. When he lets go of the tension in his body, Dimitri sinks in his second finger. He pushes in with the first, then out, and settle for the same regular rhythm. The heat surround his fingers, leaving Dimitri wondering if it is not uncomfortable to have his cold fingers working him open. 

Until his eyes leave his work and he sees him. His head thrown back on the pillow, his chest heaving with his harsh breathing and his hands grasping desperately at the sheets around him to try to keep himself grounded. Something curls low in Dimitri's stomach, and suddenly, getting inside that man feels like a priority. Whatever happens tonight, even if he makes him come until he has nothing left, he will feel this heat squeezing around him. 

He stops the motion of his fingers to make them slide against each other in a scissoring motion, wondering if that would not be better to widen Dedue's hole. Dedue cries out in surprise and pleasure, but a sound quickly kept under control as he placates his hand on his mouth. Dimitri takes it as a good thing, in the way his body shakes under his hand holding his hip, in the way he sees his hard cock leaking against his stomach and the light hair there. He repeats it, separates his fingers as wide as he can in the tight space before bringing them together and electing another of those sweet inebriating noises. Then again, and again, moving his hand again in and out with the same motions. And as he opens his fingers near the entrance, he slips a third one. 

Dedue groans, his thighs falling yet wider open. He mutter sounds, half-formed words between his uncontrolled gasps. Loosing his composure. Dimitri thinks it is the only occasions in which he does. And that he should make the most of it. He does make the most of it. He thrusts his fingers harder, deeper inside him, craving more and more to have his finger replaced by his aching cock. 

“Ngh... ah- Pl... Please...” Dedue moans, his voice sparkling directly into Dimitri's core. 

“Dedue... You...” Dimitri breathes, hardly able to keep his voice even. He wants to ask, to make sure that he is ready, but he understands that none of them is really able to form coherent sentences at the moment. He feels it were they are joined and in the reaction of the other man's body. He is ready for him, and patience was never Dimitri's strongest suit. 

He takes his fingers off Dedue's hole, now slick with the ointment. He sits back in his heels just the time to grab the bottle of mixture, but he misses immediately Dedue's heat, around his fingers and beneath him. When their eyes meet he gets that the feeling is returned. He does not waste another second then, pouring a good amount of ointment on his already leaking cock, with a hiss at the sensation of cold liquid dripping down his member. It will not matter, in a short time he will be buried in Dedue's heat. 

Dimitri places his knees between Dedue's parted thighs and touches his cock with one hand, holding back a moan at the stimulation. He is already so sensitive. He is feeling everything too strongly, his mind overwhelmed by the man spread in front of him. He guides the tip to his entrance, barely making contact between their two body. It's enough for Dedue to get in action and push his legs against his sides, holding him between them. The heat of his skin is almost burning Dimitri with a never experienced before sensation, shaking him to his deepest being. He falters only an instant, falls onward slowly to catch himself with his free hand on Dedue's chest. It radiates the same heat, but there he can feel the strong beating of his heart against his rib cage. 

Dimitri's heart beats in harmony with it, trying to imitate its warmth. “Goddess, Dedue... You're so hot...” He murmurs before leaning in all the way. He puts his lips on his skin, where he can reach. His collar bones are the closest and he closes his mouth around, sucks on them as he pushes his hips against him. The hilt penetrates the tight heat. The feeling coursing through his body at this instant, when he for the first time tries to get inside of Dedue, makes him moan, mouth open on his chest. Dedue moans with him, and suddenly his warm hands are on the back of his head and on the back of his neck. 

“Dedue...” Dimitri murmurs again, directly against his breast. He lets his hands slide on his hot body, trace the curve of his chest, and hip and ass. “Relax for me Dedue.” 

He does, in the second. He feel the almost-too-much pressure release the head of his cock. He takes one of Dedue's nipples in his mouth, impulsively, as he thrusts again and sinks deeper. The hands on his head close and open again, but don't move. They stay closely around him holding him close as he pushes again, and again until with a low groan, he is fully sheathed inside. 

“Dedue...” Dimitri pants, calling again his name to... he is not sure why. Dedue is here, under him and around him, holding him with his arms and his entire body, his legs moving to encircle his hips as he pulls them out and in again. Dedue is with him, he hears him clearly trying to muffle his groans and moans of pleasure. He feels his hot ragged breath against the top of his head, and the interrupted words escaping from his lips when he pulls out and slams all the way back in again. 

“Ah- Ye... Your Hi... Di... Y-”

“Dimitri.” He guides him, jerking his hips inside of him. 

“Di... Dimitri...” Dedue moans. The sound escapes his lips with no control over it. His wild card that he can not hold back. He says his name as he wraps around him, his arms, his legs and his whole being, and Dimitri knows he has never been warmer. 

It runs through his entire body. The sparkling heat invades his lower stomach, his chest, his head. He feels something so intense when Dedue holds him so close and so strong. When he puts his face against his head. It only allows Dimitri to hear him better, much closer when Dedue moans his name. He feels the need to hear it more. His hands grasp Dedue's thighs to have something to hold on to, to push harder and faster inside of him. 

After a few deep thrusts he hears it again, his reward. Dedue groans and murmurs his name. It does things to him. To his soul and his body. The intense heat curling deeper in his core, making his rhythm falter more and more as waves of pleasure crash into him one after the other. He knows that he will not last much longer. But he told himself that he would give too, tonight. 

Dimitri lets go of his hold on Dedue with one hand to slip it between their two bodies pressed tight together by Dedue's strong embrace. He wraps it around his hard leaking cock, and is only half surprised to feel it so wet between his fingers. He barely even touched it, and it makes him feel a little bit guilty until he hears Dedue whimpering. “Ah-! P-Please... Dimitri!” 

A low moan escapes Dimitri's throat. “Yes... Dedue, you're... so good.” It all soon becomes too much. Dedue's arms around him, his hands on the back of his neck and in his hair, his legs encircling his hips moving with a faltering rhythm, the noises he makes pressing his mouth against the top of his blonde head to try to tone them down, the tight heat around his cock, squeezing him to tight and soft at the same time... 

Dimitri jerks his hand faster around Dedue's member. He feels his body tremble and tense and he knows by now that it means it will not be long before he comes. He wants it. He wants to give so much pleasure to Dedue. He slips his thumb on his wet hilt, putting more pressure. Dedue does the same in reaction, he holds him with more strength, his hands close around a few locks of his golden hair and he gasps harsher breaths, louder moans, repeating Dimitri's name again and again accompanied sometimes by pleas. 

He comes before Dimitri, to his satisfaction. He feels so fine when he feels Dedue's cock empty in his hands, when he feel his walls clench around him with the shock of his orgasm. The sudden tightness make them cry at the same time and Dimitri barely manages to pull out of his hole to release himself between their bodies in a last groan. 

Dedue's arms are still around him. He lets himself collapse into his chest, still secured in his embrace. He can easily forget the stickiness between their bodies. Their frantic breaths calm down to the sound of two steadying respiration filling the room. He climbs onto Dedue and there, Dimitri finds it. The warmth he craves so many times, days and nights. The safety he wanted for too long. Right here, nestled against Dedue, he does not feel this void in his heart anymore. He feels full, sated and without need. And it is all thanks to the man whose arms are still around his body.

“Thank you.” He murmurs without realizing that the words are actually coming out of his own mouth.

“What?” It is only Dedue's surprise that tells him that he did say it out loud.

“I... I can never thank you enough. For all the thing you do for me." He deflects a little bit.

"No…" Dedue contradicts him, with too much haste to be of any comfort to Dimitri about what he is going to hear. "No, your Highness, I take from this, too.... More than I should ever have…"

That's it, Dimitri realizes. This sudden coldness in his chest. The distance that grew so rapidly between them. After they were moving in such a perfect synchronicity, not to kill or survive, but to please the other... It feels they are far apart again. Despite those moment when nothing could bring them closer, they always get pulled back to where they truly are. This everlasting disagreement between them. Dedue calling him his Highness when he was moaning his name so beautifully only a minute ago… This is the void.

"Dedue." Dimitri says, leaning back only a little bit to be able to look into his closest friend's eyes. But there he sees guilt, and it makes his stomach freeze. "Do you truly think I did not enjoy what just happened? We both take from this. That is the whole point. Because we both… enjoy the other's company. I... truly do… Very much."

"... If you say so your Highness."

His tone is a good indicator that he is still not convinced. But Dimitri has no ideas of what he could do to change his mind. It seems like he can't find the right words to express himself, what Dedue makes him feel, and make him understand. But it is the situation he has chosen. When he could not control his impulses regarding the Duscur man before he could even change his mind about the fact that they could be more than a prince and his vassal. This is not servitude, he knows. Dedue does want it too. It only frustrates Dimitri more to think that they agree but they seem to not find the right way to communicate.

This is probably pointless. This situation is not meant to last. It is only to satiate his strong desires so he would not loose his own control again. And to Dedue… It is only to have some good times of discovery in this Academy, until he finds someone good that he would not be to afraid to use the name of outside of their sexual rapports.

The hands on him fall back on the mattress. "I should return to my room."

Dimitri lets him go, like every time. He watches him stand slowly on slightly trembling legs, gather his clothes and leave. But for the first time he leaves him uncleaned. And Dimitri does not know what to make of it.

They do not have the time to address it later. They must take off the north of the Empire for their monthly mission in the Remire Village. Dimitri notices Dedue's stiffness in some of his movements, but he does not comment on it. There are always people around them now, the occasion to talk privately is never offered to them, and they need to travel all day long before they can reach their destination. 

It is getting dark when they arrive at the Remire Village. They would not have engaged the fight that late in the night if it were not for the red lights of the fire already ravaging through the village. The cries of villagers make them run to the place, until what the group witness there stops them in their action. It is pure chaos that took control of the village. All around them, flames are rising in the dark sky, consuming everything in their paths. Villagers are screaming and running away to find a place to hide. They are begging for their lives as some of them turn against each other. 

The pure confusion and violence of the scene leaves Dedue petrified. It is so painfully close from the last he saw of his own village. The houses burnt down, his people begging for their lives, children crying for their parents and long gone families. His body is shaking from the memory alone. He knows the images flashing through his mind belong to the past. It is over now, the flames has been extinct for a long time now. There is no one left to save. And yet he is petrified by the similarities of the situation. The same things at stake. So many innocent lives taken with no reasons. 

His grasp tightens on the handle of his battle axe as he tries to calm the trembling of his body. They can try to make things different this time. He was saved from the same situation four year ago. Someone rose among the darkness to save him. His savior, his prince. He could do it again, they could all do it and save more than just one boy. 

Dedue turns his attention back to his Highness, but only to find him holding his head in his hands. His worry grows within him, remembering too well his chronic headaches. He wonders if he remembers as clearly as he does. Surely. But he knows that the ghosts of the past have a much stronger hold on his prince than they have on him. He wished he had the ability to calm his prince's anguish, but he doesn't know how he could when the scenery still makes him shake with the strength of his own past traumas. 

Thankfully he is not the only one to worry about his Highness. “Are you alright?” The professor asks.

“Don't waste your time on me.” Dimitri dismisses everyone's worries. “Saving the village is far more important. We haven't a moment to lose!” 

He is only thinking about the people who can't defend themselves. Dedue knows that is how his prince is, always putting the safety of others before his own well-being. The same way he did when they first crossed gaze, when he stood before those blades of Faerghus destined to take his life. He had tried to save him even if it meant putting his life on the line. Dedue understands then that he has to focus on the most important. But his mind is still clouded by images of his own past, when all was left from his family home were ashes and corpses. He knows what he must do, but he does not know how. How is he supposed to make this situation right, as only one man, when so many are already dead? 

“What can we do amidst such confusion?” He asks, needing guidance in this chaotic darkness. 

As the students slowly come to the agreement that they need to rescue the villagers firstly, he notices figures standing calmly between the flames. “Isn't that...” He mutters, before turning back to his prince who is still visibly trying to ignore his persistent headache. He tries to call him back to the present. “Your Highness. Suspicious figures spotted in the village. They seem to be... watching the chaos.”

“Are they the ones responsible for this madness?” Dimitri looks up to the shadows detaching against the flames. His eyes slowly taint with an unrestrained hatred. “If so...it's clear what must be done. Kill them all. Don't let a single one of them escape. Sever their limbs and crush their wicked skulls!”

His outburst of violence surprises some of their classmates. But not Dedue, or Felix. The latter only watches his Highness with visible disgust, but Dedue complies to his orders. Despite everything, a part of him agrees with his prince. Those people, responsible for so much chaos and death... they are not different from the ones who took from him his home, his family, everything. A part of him is claiming for revenge, while another one only wants reparation. But in this place and time, all he can do is put his axe in the service of his Highness. 

They try to progress as fast as they can on the battlefield to reach the last sane villagers standing, Ingrid and Sylvain sprinting away in solo toward them with their fast mounts. His Highness is immediately progressing to the figures watching in silence, and Dedue has difficulties to catch up with his fast pace. Even more when they recognize Thomas, who is the one appearing as the leader. 

His Highness is blinded by his fury, and even though he cuts effortlessly through the enemy, it only worries Dedue. He thought that since their last fight, and the discussion with the Professor, he would leave this behavior behind. He thought that they could fight alongside each other, protecting each other. But he understands that his prince is in a too dark place right now to have any conscious of that. He can only watch him run away from him and to Thomas, their professor managing to stay by his sides, while Dedue eliminates foes who might want to get him from behind.

Thomas escapes His Highness and the Professor's blades, but Dedue cares only a little about this. All that matter is that the battle is over, the flames are slowly dying, and the villagers that were still alive when they arrived are now safe. The only trouble remaining is... Dedue makes his way to his prince, but before he can ask about his well-being, he walks away talking about going on a survey to find more survivors. Dedue understands that it would only be pointless to try to go with him, and prefers to gather back with the rest of his classmates.

But his worry doesn't disappears, as well as his Highness's disturbed state. All during the road back to Garreg Mach, he can fully observe his closed fists on his knees, the way he makes sure to not meet anyone's gaze and his clenched jaw. Dedue manages to forget the images with time, as they travel away from the Remire Village. He forget the flames and the helpless cries. But he sees that his Highness's does not, and there is nothing he can do about it. He knows he has been like this since the Tragedy of Duscur, and there was really nothing he could ever do. Offer his words, his presence... He can still do today, but he knows it will never be enough. His prince will keep on aching for the dead. 

He can still try. He hates to know that he cannot do anything that would work on the long run, but he knows he can still try to do something. He can try to offer him some peace, if even for a short moment. He cannot stand to be only a witness of his prince's distress. He can offer now what he offered then and that they both needed. Steadying arms. 

Not immediately after the fight. Not as long as there are too many people around and with them. But when they arrive back at the Academy, he does not hesitate. From the first night that they spend back in their rooms, he takes the stairs to the first floor, late enough in the night to be sure not to meet anyone who might ask what he is doing there. He knocks softly on the door, enough to be heard only by his Highness. Even at this hour, he doubts that he is already sleeping. Not in the state the situation at Remire left him in. 

Proving him right, the door opens shortly after. And if at first his prince looks wary of who is disturbing him when the moon is up in the sky, his frown disappears when he lays eyes on his vassal. “Come in.” He only says, opening the door for Dedue to make his way inside. 

Dedue watches him close the door behind him. He notices that he still walks with precaution, as though he was still moving on a battle field. When he raises his eyes to him, he can only notice the dark circles, confirming the doubts he had that he slept at all the nights following the events at Remire. Sometimes Dedue wonders how his prince is even standing up, with all the thing weighting in his mind and in his heart. But he tells himself that he is here exactly for that. To try to take off some of that weight. 

“Your Highness, I came to-”

He is brutally interrupted by the crash of lips against his mouth as hands grasp his collar to make him lean forward. His Highness kisses him with no restrain, assaulting him with his lips and Dedue has to take a moment to fully comprehend what is happening. Right, that is the reason of all their previous nightly meetings. To kiss and enjoy themselves. The last time he was in this room, he was offering his body to his prince, and moaning his name as he thrust into him. He tries to control the way his body awakes at the memory, and the assault of his lips. While he is far from not enjoying those times spent with his Highness, that is not the reason of his presence tonight. 

But does not have the occasion to stop his prince, his mouth too busy receiving his demanding and harsh kisses, and soon two hand firmly set on his chest push him backward, forcing him to fall on the bed. 

“Ah! Y-” He tries to take the opportunity to have his mouth free to speak, but his prince kisses him again, deep and fast as he climbs over him, his hands already working to undo the collar of his uniform. Under his prince's demanding caresses, he wonders if he should not let him. Giving him respite is what he came here to do in the first place. If that is the way he has to do it, if he finds solace in their intimate moments... he should indulge them both and let his hands move on his prince's body. 

His Highness pulls his tongue out of his mouth. Dedue wonders if it means the end of his assaults, finally allowing him to say a word. Until he feel his mouth close on his lower lip, sucking with insistence, nibbling at the tender flesh until he bites down harder, the sting of pain suddenly overtaking the pleasure settling in his body. His biting is what makes his hands react, grasping his Highness's shoulders. It does not make him stop. He continues to bite down hard at his mouth and Dedue fears he might be close to beak his skin and spill his blood directly into his mouth. 

He grasps his shoulders harder and pushes him away, just enough to give his lip some respite. “Wait, please...” He says, but then he is able to see exactly what is in his Highness's eyes. It's fire, intense and full of rage, consuming and destroying. Nothing like the passion he usually sees when they spend time of their nights together. It stops Dedue in his tracks. He is not sure his Highness is even able to see him right now. Not him in his entirety. 

His prince takes advantage of his moment of hesitation. He dives on him again, putting his mouth and teeth anywhere he can. On his lips, his jaw, the neck he just revealed by unbuttoning his uniform. He sinks his teeth in his flesh and the pain is enough to make Dedue grunt, his hands closing harder on his prince's shoulders. He bites his collarbone hard enough that, even if it is not enough to make him bleed, Dedue is sure he will bear the traces later. 

It is nothing of pleasant. If he did not know his prince, and the reasons why he is in this state right now, he thinks he might be afraid. Though he is a little bit affraid, but not for himself. It would be easy enough to push the young man away, end the purple markings of his skin, leave and try to forget about it. But that is not what he wants. Leaving right now would have no positive consequences. As would letting his Highness continue what he is doing. 

“Stop. Calm down, please.” Dedue asks between two gasps of pain. But his prince does not. He slides his hands under his uniform to reveal more of his chest, more of his flesh for him to bite. Dedue keeps his clenched fists around his arms, feeling his heartbeat increase. It is a lot to bear. He dislikes this situation so much. He wished it would stop tight now. He wished it would never happen in the first place. But he does not want to push his Highness away. He wants him to stop by himself, or else, it would be meaningless. 

“Your Highness.” 

Through his pleas, he supposes it is what truly reached for him. His Highness suddenly stops, his mouth still open on his pectoral. He raises widened eyes to Dedue, as though he only now he understands what he is doing. He cannot hold his gaze much longer, though. His blues eyes fall on the traces scattered across Dedue's skin. Red marks left by his own teeth. 

Dimitri feels thrown into cold consciousness at once. His guts turning with disgust inside of him, his heart stilling in his chest. He pushes himself away, standing abruptly, terrified of what he has just done. His eyes roam over Dedue's body, and then over his concerned expression. He remembers his words, when he asked him to stop, but he did not and... He covers his mouth with his hand. His disgusting mouth that was just hurting Dedue... He cannot even look at him. He turns away, to the furthest corner of the room, and keeps his eyes there. He doesn't move. He doesn't trust his body anymore. 

“I'm sorry, I...” He rasps. “You can go.” 

He does not hear a thing. Not the ruffling of the sheets as Dedue stands up of the sounds of his footsteps as he runs away from him, as he should. He still feels his burning gaze in his back and... He does not understand. 

After a moment, Dedue speaks up. “I... Do you want me to go?” 

Dimitri frowns, and he dares to look back at him without understanding. He cannot mean... He simply doesn't understand what he means. Why he would not take this opportunity to get away from him. Why he wants to stay at this late hour. Dedue does not want to have sex, obviously, and after what just happened, when he can still see the red traces of his teeth on Dedue's neck... He just does not feel like it anymore. He can only stare in disbelief. 

Until it clicks in his mind and his frown grows deeper. “Dedue. After what I just did to you, it is not about what I want.” 

“I understand, but... We do not have to be alone.” Dedue explains.

Even if a flash of understanding goes through Dimitri's eyes, he does not move, so Dedue decides to initiate. He takes off the rest of his uniform off, deciding to carry on with his initial plan. He still wants to offer his presence to his prince, even if his lower lip is dull. He pulls the blankets open and slides under them, but does not let them fall over his body. He hold them up, inviting for his prince with an expecting look, trying to hide his nervousness. He doesn't know what he would do if his Highness did not wish for this.

After a few minutes, but still with hesitation in his movement, Dimitri lets go of his arms and takes a step to the bed. Then another, and another, and before he knows it he is sitting on the mattress. He stays unmoving for a few seconds, as though he could not dare. “Rest. You need it.” Dedue encourages him, as sits more straight to help him out of his uniform. 

Dimitri puts his hand on his forehead, feeling somewhat dizzy. Is it because of what transpired only a few days ago? The fire surrounding him and his sudden blood thirst? The feeling that he can actually taste Dedue's flesh in his mouth when he knows he can never taste anything ever again? Or maybe it is this scene that he never expected to happen in the real life. Dedue in his bed, opening his sheets and arms invitingly, but for nothing resembling anything they have done before. 

Dimitri lets his body lean on the mattress, under the warm blankets and the warmer arms circling him. This is it, he thinks as he feels his consciousness slip away so much easier than anytime he tried to sleep before. This is how he fills the emptiness in his heart.


	9. Something Growing Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back at it again!  
Sorry for taking so long to update. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter enough to make up for it!

Dimitri awakes slowly. He feels an unfamiliar feeling inside of him even before he opens his eyes. A feeling of peace. Distantly, he knows he should fear nothing of it. But it is a foreign feeling to him. He is not used to feeling it, especially after a restless night...

He opens his eyes, as he notices that this night was not restless. For the first time since... he can't quite recall. The night he just spent was one of his best yet. And this is all thanks to the arms around his body, solid warmth against his back, soft breathing filling his ears.

Right, he remembers. The night before, Dedue stayed. Dedue stayed. His eyes suddenly widen under the realization. It never happened before. After all the times they enjoyed each other's bodies, Dedue had always made a point of going back into his room, or for Dimitri to go back to his. But for the first time, they slept together. His heart feels a little warmer when he thinks about it. It is such a gentle thing to happen between two persons. He never thought he would be deserving of such attention.

But as he tells himself that it is the first time that it happens, he realizes that it might very well be the last, too. Last night was... Something he rather would not have happened. Even his present enjoyment of the situation leaves a bitter taste of guilt in the back of his throat. He swallows it. Dedue offered it to him. He remembers his words. We do not have to be alone. He supposes that he is right. Dedue needed some sort of presence. How regrettable for him to have only his prince to go to. His crazy Highness, always with underlying intentions. He can only hope that this night was as peaceful for Dedue that it was for him.

For the time being, as long as Dedue does not find anyone else, he is contempt with being his only option. A part of him selfishly wishes to be his only option for the rest of their days. But he has no rights to think so. Not for ever. That is why he needs to cherish those instants while they last.

Dimitri tries to turn his body in Dedue's arms, without waking him. He would hate to be the one to pull him out of a much needed rest, after everything he puts him through. He manages, he doesn't know how. Dedue's arms are tightly secured around him, and he wishes it would never change. He wishes he could stay in those arms which make him feel so safe, so at peace that he could fall asleep without fear forever.

But Dedue stirs in his sleep, and Dimitri fears that he has awakened him. He is glad that it is only his arms which move, settling on his back as he pulls himself closer against Dedue's chest. There, he can admire him for as long as he wishes to. He can put his head against his breast and feel the rise and fall of his regular respiration. He can hear the slow and steady beating of his heart. A rhythm so soothing to his ears that he feels that he could fall back asleep, with those warm arms around him.

Until his eyes spot a red mark on his chest. Curved and irregular. Self-disgust makes its way back at the back of his throat. He did this to Dedue. He is the one responsible for those bite marks because he was... blinded, out of his own control. Despite his attacks, those disgusting acts, Dedue did not leave him. Even when he had the occasion. He feels the familiar tightness of guilt in his chest, but there is something else accompanying it. Something he is not entirely familiar with. Something humming low and sweet and warm in his heart. Something he feels occasionally, only with Dedue.

It must be affection, he thinks. Something linked to all the trials they passed together. The battles they fought. The most intimate moments... He knows he feels strongly about the Duscur man. It is nothing new, not after they both realized their sexual attractions. He feels such a strong fondness when he sees him happy, or at peace. Like in that moment. He slowly raises his eyes to his sleeping face. His eyes are closed, but there is no frown on his forehead. No straining line around his eyes. For that reason, Dimitri lets himself believe that this night was as needed for Dedue as it was for him.

He never saw him so at peace... But then again, he never watched him sleep before. He thinks it's a shame. Seeing Dedue so relaxed makes him feel just the same. He feels as though he could stay here watching him for hours, but he remembers that it is impossible. They are still in the Academy, they still have classes to take. He wonders about after their graduation, then. When he will be king of Faerghus, and Dedue by his sides... If he could have him in his bed like this every morning, he feels that he would need a lot of encouragement to get up. But it seems impossible. He knows his friend. He is still so guarded with him as his prince, so as his king...

But there he is, already making plans for the future. He shakes his head, blaming the thoughts on his still sleepy mind. Too beckoned back to sleep by Dedue's warm arms around him and the soothing rhythm of his breathing. He is being ridiculous, he knows. When he will be king, there will be much to be done. Repairing Faerghus, repairing Duscur... He will have no time to sleep in Dedue's arms, so he should enjoy it as much as he can, while he can.

His eyes are inevitably attracted by Dedue's slightly parted lips, from which come the regular sound of his peaceful respiration. He gazes at them intently and sees that they are still a little swollen from his previous insistent biting. He suddenly feels the desire to kiss them better. He wants nothing more but to kiss those so pretty lips, when they are just looking so soft. But he thinks it might wake Dedue, and to pull him out of his repairing sleep is the last thing he wants.

Instead, he lets himself be nestled against his chest and breathes in rhythm with him to be able to share this peace. But time passes, the day brightens outside of his window, and students begin to move outside of his door. The sound of the waking monastery wakes Dedue in turn. Dimitri tries to move as little as possible, trying to stay in the moment for just a little while longer. Dedue's arms move around him, until they freeze, and Dimitri can hear Dedue's still asleep voice.

“Y-Your Highness...?”

Dimitri immediately feels the growing pace of his heartbeat, when he has his head pressed against his chest. He pushes himself a little bit away to be able to look at his face again. He is not surprised to see his peaceful expression gone, but it does not prevent him from being disappointed. His friend looks too panicked, but Dimitri feels guilty to appreciate the blush painted across his cheeks. He does not stop himself before he kisses them, this time.

“It's alright.” Dimitri reassures him, kissing him on the lips he wanted to kiss so much earlier. He does not understand why Dedue never wants for them to spend the night together, when they are done... spending the other. But he supposes it is the time to show him that it is nothing to fear. He would love for it to happen again. To feel so at peace, waking in Dedue's arms and seeing Dedue's peaceful sleeping expression.

It is not enough. Dimitri saw it coming, but Dedue does not relax, not because of his words or his kisses. He awakes too quickly to his liking, slowly standing up in the bed and listening for outside noises, but keeping his arms around his prince. Dimitri thinks that it's because he does not want to end their embrace just yet, but a more lucid part of him knows it is only wishful thinking. His arms are probably still asleep, for supporting his weight all night long.

He ends up complying. He sits up in the bed and lets Dedue roam in the room in search of his clothes, still visibly flushed. While Dimitri perfectly knows he should do the same to get ready for the upcoming day, he enjoys too much admiring Dedue, as he visibly remembers the last events. He slowly traces his collarbone where is sitting one of Dimitri's bite marks. The memory brings back all his guilt at the surface, and Dedue knows this too well because when he meets his eyes, he quickly puts his hand away.

“Did... Did you sleep well?” Dedue asks, gathering his clothes.

“I don't recall ever sleeping so peacefully.” Dimitri replies, glancing around the room in quest of his own clothes.

“I'm glad.” Dedue hands him his uniform, visibly quicker than him. Dimitri takes it but does nothing to put it on, only watching as Dedue begins to dress, still attentive to any movement outside of the door. “Please excuse me. I... I did not know I would fall so deeply asleep.”

Dimitri can only smile, understanding that the night was a restful one for Dedue as well. “Do not apologize. I would happily do this again.”

“I...” Dedue turns to him, blushing again. “I meant to wake earlier. To not be seen walking out of your room. It would be difficult to explain.”

Ah, Dimitri understands then, what it was always all about. Still thinking it would reflect bad on him to be associated with a man of Duscur. He shakes his head. “It does not matter what others might think. But if it worries you, we can always pretext that I called you to help me prepare for the day because I did not feel well. It would be easy to believe, after everyone saw me...”

Dimitri does not end his sentence, he knows he does not need to. They both perfectly know what he means. “Very well.” Dedue nods, satisfied with this version. But it is far from satisfying Dimitri. Making up excuses for this only occasion means that it has no chances of happening again. He supposes he was right, taking this only occasion and enjoying it as much as possible. Even though it feels like it was not enough.

Dedue stops before him, now fully dressed. "Do you require my assistance?"

Though it is what they intend on telling people who might be wondering why was Dedue in his prince's room so early in the morning, Dimitri still feels too uncomfortable letting Dedue dress him as if he was only a servant. "No, I can do it myself."

While he puts on his uniform, Dedue looks away. Those instants of shyness never cease to surprise Dimitri. He thinks Dedue has seen him in much more compromising situations. But he does not comment on it. He only supposes that it is another one of those invisible barriers between them that he will never the reason for them to exist in the first place. Similar to the one of never spending the night together. Though… he supposes this barrier has just been put down. If only for one night.

He only wishes all of those barriers would break down. He wishes there were no restrictions to how close they could be, in private as in public. But he knows it is too much to ask, too much to want. All he can do is cherish the memories of the times he is allowed to peer through the cracks in the walls.

A few days go by, and with the upcoming ball, students begin to feel more nervous and excited. Which also means less focused than usual. Dimitri tries even harder to focus on his classes and training.

But he must admit that it is not an easy thing. Especially after the Professor came to ask him his opinion about participating in the White Heron Cup. He only hoped he could avoid the task, and was satisfied when they left without pushing the subject. But then, they asked Dedue and… he cannot say that the idea of a dancing Dedue leaves him indifferent. He knows Dedue perfectly. He also knows his body and the perfect control he has on it. To watch him dance would be a show he would be the last to want to miss.

But then, as usual, his thoughts went out of control. He only remembers the feeling of Dedue's steadying arms around him, that made him feel so sheltered. He only remembers how easily they move together when they are carried by the same objective, would it be killing enemies or pleasuring the other. Now he cannot stop but imagine how it would feel to dance with him. To have Dedue's hands on him, guiding him on the dance-floor through the music, leaving his head spinning and his heart racing.

It is something too unlikely to happen, he is painfully aware of. Dedue is already so reluctant to stand with him as his equal, so to be his dance partner before the eyes of the entire Academy… Still, he lets himself daydream a little bit. About being held by this young man who is in his every thoughts, to show everyone who is the only person he would not mind dancing with. And after dancing, they could escape from the ball, to avoid dancing with anyone else. They could go to the Goddess's Tower and…

"Your... Highness...?"

Dimitri's eyes snap back to the timid voice calling for him. He sees Bernadetta, looking at him clutching a pitchfork in her hands. Right, he remembers. They were of stable duty before he heard students pass by the door, chattering about the ball and his mind slipped through his control.

"Excuse me Bernadetta. My mind was… elsewhere." He offers her a sheepish smile.

"It's alright." She tries to return his smile, failing and turning back to her task.

Dimitri watches her concentrate on her works without saying any other words. He remembers his surprise when she transferred in their class just a few days prior. He was convinced that she would only rarely leave her room, so to change classes altogether, he never expected it. He supposes it is only their Professor's charisma that draws students from other classes to the Blue Lions. Their classroom begins to feel well filled up.

"I-if you can't concentrate…" She speaks, pulling Dimitri out of his thoughts. "Well… I understand. I won't tell the professor if you want to take a break or just leave to do something more interesting!"

Dimitri has to think for a moment before he understands what Bernadetta means. "Nonsense. Bernadetta, I was assigned to this task with you. I am not going to let you finish all alone.” 

He would hate to leave all the work to one of his classmates. Especially when it is someone like Bernadetta, who without doubts wants to go back to her room as soon as their task is complete. But he has the feeling then, that maybe she asked because she might be uncomfortable around him. He feels bad, to think he could disturb one of his classmates, but it would not be strange. He did touch something that was private and dear to her without her permission.

“Unless… you consider you will be more efficient on your own?" He checks.

"N-No, of course not I did not mean to say you were not helping! But you seemed to be longing to be somewhere else and I don't want you to feel obligated. I understand if you need to be somewhere else-" She mutters before Dimitri has any chances to stop her.

"Right." He still tries to interrupt, and succeeds. She closes her mouth and looks at him, and he lets himself believe that maybe he was wrong. Maybe she did forgive him. "Then let us finish together and only then we will be able to do what we want."

They both return to their task in silence, but even with his words Dimitri knows that it is not a matter of being kept by his stable duties. The problem is entirely else. He would need to convince Dedue to offer him a dance, but that… somehow it seems more difficult to do than to invite him to his room at night. He only has to forget this idea, change the subject.

"Did you continue writing?" He asks, deciding to be sure of Bernadetta's feelings toward him for good.

He hears a thud, and when he turns back Bernadetta is picking up her pitchfork with slightly shaking hands and cheeks bright red. He sees her nod. "Ye-" Then shake her head. "N-No! It wasn't meant for anyone to read in the first place!"

"I… understand. I apologize." Dimitri truly does. He cannot imagine how he would react if someone read the things he wrote.

"It's… fine.” She sighs, resigning. “You know, now. So I guess it's useless to try to deny it."

"I followed your advice." He says, trying to make her understand that it was not only misplaced curiosity about her writing. It was not only to embarrass her, but to help him. He hopes it will be enough to make her stop feeling embarrassed around him. She looks at him, only curious, so he precises. "I-I tried writing letters."

He sees in her eyes that she becomes more curious, wanting to know what the crown prince of Faerghus might have written that was so heavily weighing on his mind and heart. A part of Dimitri thinks that it would only be justice to let her know, after reading her writing. But other parts of him, the more rational and the more emotional, would never let anyone see what he truly thinks of his vassal. He would not know what to do with himself and it would only be unfair to Dedue. He already doesn't want people to see them as friends, so as even closer than that...

“Did it help you?” She asks, instead of asking about the subject, and Dimitri is grateful about that. He supposes that she is just a little too shy to ask directly about things she thinks must not be about her. But the question is a relevant one. In the end he is not convinced that writing down his feelings helped. They made his desires much clearer, putting them into words. And it's the reason why it all became so complicated with Dedue. Why he acted so impulsively, and why ultimately they became... what they are today, even if he is not sure of how to call it.

“I suppose...” He replies, crossing her gaze and remembering that she is awaiting an answer. But his words only make her curiosity grow. He can perfectly see it in her eyes. So he decides to stir the subject a little bit before he betrays Dedue and himself. “So don’t feel embarrassed around me. I have somewhat of a debt to you.”

“Oh, no! There is no need, your Highness. I am only glad I could be of any help.” She smiles at him, a genuine smile this time, that she has no difficulties to give.

Because of that, Dimitri thinks that maybe, from now on, she will be more relaxed around him. That is all he can ask for.

Bernadetta's behavior... changes, that is for sure. Dimitri isn't sure if it is more relaxed than before, but it makes him feel more uncomfortable. Because he noticed the way she stared at him sometimes. It reminds him of the analytic gaze she had when she was waiting to give the result of her hunt before the battle of the Eagle and the Lion.

The first time was when he waited for Dedue before stepping out of the classroom at the end of the day. She was standing not far, watching him, but she quickly averted her eyes when he spotted her. Then there were a few more occasions. At the end of a battle, when the students congratulated one another for their victories and outstanding moves. When he followed Dedue in the greenhouse because he wanted to share gardening with him, she happened to be there as well looking at carnivorous plants. When he and Dedue came to the dining hall to eat with the rest of the class hall after one of their training sessions.

And another one, when they were returning right after a more intimate kind of session. This time, it left him feeling much more uncomfortable. Because he had something to hide and he really needed no one to be suspicious about his behavior or Dedue's. But she was looking at him as though he was a walking question, as though she could read each of his looks and his movements. He tried to be even less conspicuous that evening than any other, but he fears that it might have been too much and that it seemed only more intriguing. But he hasn't the time to really ask her about it.

Then it happens again. During one of their practical classes in the training fields. After sparing during a long time with Ingrid, The Professor tell them to take a break. He takes advantage of the moment to check on how Dedue is doing against Sylvain, both using axes. For a moment all he thinks about is how strong he looks, sparing and withstanding blows before retaliating. But when he finally manages to tear his gaze away, he sees Bernadetta looking right at him, still standing bow in hand in front of her target.

The idea that he was caught staring flusters him but he decides to take the opportunity to address the recent issue. "Bernadetta, is there something wrong?"

"Ah! N-Nothing, your Highness." She quickly says before turning her full attention back to her bow and arrows.

"Are you certain?" He checks, walking closer as to talk with a lower voice. "I noticed you have been looking at me as though…"

"Oh no! I was?! I'm sorry I didn't mean to." She profusely apologies, and Dimitri sees that she is just as embarrassed as him, if not more.

"It is fine. But… is there a reason behind? Did I do something wrong?"

"N-No! Not at all!” She corrects him, but still doesn't look at him. “I'm so sorry it will not happen again." She ends the conversation, entirely focused on her training again.

Dimitri watches her for a few more seconds, wondering if he can truly believe her words. He does not think that she would act like this if there was nothing at all. But there is no reason to push her further if she clearly does not want to talk about it. He doesn't think she is lying when she says there are no problems between them. It must be something else. As long as it is nothing bad, he can stop worrying about it. He has his own training to go back to.

His mind is already focused on something else. His eighteenth birthday is just the next day. An important date for many reasons. The most obvious one is that he will be of age to rule. He will wait for the end of his studies before he takes his place on Faerghus's throne, but that is a step that he needed to reach. He has no doubts his uncle has already sent something for him to arrive right on time for his birthday. And that people around him will want to celebrate with a feast. But he would like to celebrate in another manner.

Dedue and him have been fooling around many times. Dedue always indulges in his fantasies, to the point that he left him inside a few times already. But he would like to return the favor. Be the one to indulge Dedue's desires. But he doesn't even know what he likes. Well, he can see that he appreciates everything they do together. But he wants to know what he really wants. He wants him to take what he wants from him, like that one and only time he sucked him with little warning in the woods. He still feels... something, when he thinks about it. But he never really knows how to ask for it. When they are started on something he rarely has the mind to slow things down and talk. His birthday may be the occasion.

“Your Highness.” Dimitri almost jumps at the mention of his title. He puts himself out of his displaced thoughts to look up to the man he was just thinking about. Dedue wear a deeper frown than usual and his worry is easily readable. “You have been staring at nothing for a moment. Are suffering from those headaches again?”

“No, not this time. I'm alright, Dedue.” Dimitri reassures him. To only see him, somehow, it warms his heart. His eyes soften a little bit and his lips curve in a smile without really intending it. “Thank you for worrying and... taking care of me.”

“It is nothing your Highness.”

Dedue is too dedicated to him. He knows about all of the shadows he tries so hard to hide. His chronic headaches growing even stronger since Remire, his growing hatred for Thomas, or Solon, or the ones responsible, his need for revenge. The reason behind his tireless training. Even after seeing this side of him, even after he assaulted him, Dedue remains by his sides, still treating him as though he was something special, something that is worthy of his care. Worthy of only one night peacefully seated in his warm embrace.

Amongst the voices in his head telling him to focus on his goal, forget any useless frivolities and get justice, there is a much more calm one, advising him to cherish this man as he deserves. It is the only one he hears when he meets Dedue's eyes. He knows he needs to take care of him. Please him just as much as he does for him.

That is why the next day, he can barely contain his excitement. From the moment he opens his eyes he knows what he will ask of Dedue, and he can only hope that the taller man will agree. His impatience only grows when he sees him outside of the dormitories, and then he just cannot push the thoughts away from his mind even through their professor's classes. When the bell finally rings the end of the day of classes, he quickly gathers his stuff and walks out, waiting for Dedue to follow him.

“Have you got something planned your Highness?” Dedue asks him as soon as he walks in the gardens leading to the dormitories.

Dimitri stops and turns to him with a surprised look on his face. He did not think he was so transparent about what he intended on doing. But to call it something planned... It is something he wants to do, that is for sure. “Sort of, yes.”

“I thought so.” Dedue nods. “You seemed in a hurry. Then do not let me disturb you.”

“Ah, no! Dedue wait, you're not disturbing me, not at all.” Dimitri quickly says before he has a chance to turn away and leave. “To be perfectly honest, you were in my plans, if we can call them that.”

“Hm...” Dedue's cheeks take on a light red color, letting Dimitri think that he understands what he means.

Dimitri cannot help the sweetness filling his heart at this. They have already seen each other naked so many times, brought the other to his climax on so many occasions, but he still manages to get embarrassed when they only suggest the matter. “As you must be well aware of... I am turning eighteen today.”

“I am aware, yes. I also had planned something for the occasion.”

Dimitri wonders if his heart will ever stop reacting to Dedue's every expressions or attentions. Of course, he would have planned something. But to think that they could have had the same idea... he thinks his cheeks warm a little bit, too. “You did...?”

Dedue nods, his expression only serious again. “Sadly... I do not believe it will be ready on time.”

Dimitri is only curious then. And a little bit confused. Dedue needed time to prepare in advance? Now he doubts that they had the same ideas.

“But I suppose... I could still show you, if you wish.”

Dimitri accepts, because he would never want to miss what Dedue wanted to do for his birthday. He follows him into the greenhouse, and only begins to understand what he wanted to do when he stops before a patch of earth from where are growing various flowers. They are still blooming slowly. Nowhere near ready to be used to make a bouquet. Or that is what Dedue tells him.

“You wanted to... offer me a bouquet?” Dimitri asks, because that is all he can really do.

That is such a precious thing to do. Something he would be well incapable of doing himself, but that is so characteristic of Dedue. It feels so special, so intimate. They are Dedue's flowers, that he decided to plant to offer to him, that he took care of from the moment they entered the earth and carefully mended into those beautiful blossoms... He suddenly wants nothing more but to show the flowers to everyone... No, he wants to put them in his room, in a well decorated vase. But then he imagines his room full of Dedue's well crafted bouquets and... he does not want to over charge him. He is already feeling so happy with this one, even if it is not ready yet.

“It was supposed to mean something.” Dedue says, as though he had to justify anything.

“Would you mind explaining to me?” Dimitri asks, his gaze still focused on the blooming flowers and the few buds.

“Not at all. Those yellow flowers are daffodils.” Dedue begins to explain, turning his attention to the flowers, and Dimitri lets himself be captivated by his obvious care for gardening. He absorbs all the information he shares as though it was a secret knowledge. Dedue is talking about something that he likes, and Dimitri would be damned if he did not try to share this with him.

“They are significant of a regard, and new beginnings. These, with the flower spike covered in big white flowers are Gladiolus, symbols of faithfulness. Blue irises represent faith and hope. I planted yellow irises with them for...” He marks a short pause, enough to make Dimitri look at him. This way, he can see the light blush across his cheeks. “passion. The last ones, Gardenias, are tokens for sweetness and joy and they indicate...”

His blush is a little darker, and he shakes his head, as though to dismiss it. Dimitri decided to not push it much further anyways. He feels his heart beating a fast and light rhythm in his chest. “They are really lovely.” He says, still trying to wrap his mind around all the meanings his dearest companion put into his gift. He did talk about passion, and sweetness. Things he does not see in himself. Except maybe for the passion burning in him for the man who grew those flowers for him.

“I know it is not much, but...”

“Dedue.” Dimitri cuts him. “You obviously put much thought into it. Even if they are not ready yet, I love them. I truly do. I cannot wait for them to be in full bloom.”

“T-Thank you, your Highness.”

“It is I who should thank you.” Dimitri insists. He feels so light, so warm from the gesture. It is almost unfair. How can Dedue make him feel so good all the time, with his arms around him or with these kinds of attentions? Dimitri wants nothing more but to make him as happy. But all his ideas are... well... they are ideas. But not as sweet and tender as offering him flowers with a well-thought meaning behind them. His burning attention is all he can offer to him.

“What I had planned was a lot different.” Dimitri says a little lower, extending his hand to take Dedue's. There is no one in the greenhouse right now, he thinks it's the only reason why Dedue keeps his hand in his. He doesn't reply anything, but by the way his eyes darken a little bit, Dimitri knows he is receptive to his propositions. “Let us walk back to your room.”

They go to his room, and Dimitri tries to not mind the fact that they don't hold hands all the way. It's normal, considering that anyone could see them. He could not care less about other people's thoughts, his mind entirely focused on what is going to happen. But Dedue left go the first and he only followed.

The moment Dedue locks the door behind them, Dimitri pulls him into a kiss. Only when their lips press against each other, he understands how much he wanted to kiss Dedue in the greenhouse. How much he wanted to kiss him tenderly on the lips to show him all of his appreciation. How much he loves what Dedue does. He could not then, but when they are behind closed doors...

Dedue leans in the kiss and returns it with the same softness. Something so sweet Dimitri might lose himself within and forget what he wanted to do here in the first place. He kinds of does. He cups Dedue's face in his hands and keeps on kissing him. That is all he needs. Images of a sleeping Dedue slips into his mind, with the want he had to kiss him and snuggle in his arms forever. He thinks about doing this, right now. Only laying down with Dedue and rest in each other's arms, basking in his comforting presence and shower him with adoring kisses.

It is such a strange fantasy to have, he realizes. It is nothing sexual and it is... unsettling. He could even feel more embarrassed about this than the thoughts he usually has about his vassal. So he should... only concentrate on the other thoughts. Why he asked Dedue to his room in the first place. He slowly pulls away from their kiss and when he sees Dedue's red cheeks, he has no difficulties to forget about the rest.

He pulls him in another kiss with a different intensity. He immediately opens his mouth to invite Dedue inside, who replies as quickly, sliding his tongue between his teeth. Dimitri pulls his body against him, and he is pleased when Dedue replies in a same manner. He presses against him, pushing him backward toward the bed. Dimitri lets him guide him until the back oh his knees hit the bed and he slowly falls backward, splaying over the blanket. Dedue bend over him, putting his hands on the bed on both sides of Dimitri's body.

Dimitri's breath is already heavy, but he cannot do anything else but stare at the man hovering over him. He cannot think about anything else but how handsome he is with his strong arms trapping him on his bed and this lustful expression on his face. Dimitri slowly brings his hand up to cup Dedue's face. His face is burning under his touch. He slides his hand further behind his head, in his hair, until he touches with the tip of his finger the tie holding his silver hair in a short ponytail. He lets his hand act on its own, and pulls on the tie to let his hair fall loose.

They both stay unmoving for a moment after this. Dimitri can only admire Dedue with his hair down. Somehow, he seems even more naked than when he wears no clothes. He supposes it's because even when they revealed their most intimate parts to the other, he never saw Dedue undoing his hair. He lets his fingers touch the length of his silver hair, admiring just another sight he never had the occasion to see before.

His heart is beating very loud in his chest, and he thinks Dedue can hear it from where he is. He pushes the strand of hair he was touching behind his ear, looking into his eyes again. “Dedue...”

“You wanted something particular for today.” Dedue cuts him.

Dimitri can only nod in reply. He brings his hands to his uniform to begin to take it off. Dedue sits back on the bed to assist him and soon, he has only his pants left. The air is a little bit cold, and shivers travel through his skin, but he doesn't mind them. He focuses on his thoughts, the situation, and he already feels a little warmer. Soon, he feels Dedue's hands on him. He puts his hands on his hips and watches him intently. A burning touch that makes him completely forget about the temperature.

“Tell me what it is.” Dedue says.

“I...” Only when he is almost naked in Dedue's bed, he notices that he maybe doesn't have the necessary to do what he wants to do. Then, his eyes land on his clothes on the ground, and he thinks they can improvise something. “I should have my hands tied to your bed.”

Dedue stares at him in shock for a few seconds. Dimitri knows his request might be bold, but when he finally says the words out loud, he knows that it is something he really wants. His body is lighting up from the inside.

Dedue must notice the change in his body. His shock morphs into understanding. He looks at him seriously. “Are you completely sure?”

“Yes.” Dimitri nods eagerly.

“It is not... You are the... And I...” Dedue tries, but he doesn't find in himself to end his sentence. His prince would not hear a word of those arguments. He does not wait to interrupt his line of thoughts.

“Dedue, please...” He decides to ask one last time, laying down on the furs, his hands joined above his head.

Dedue stares at him again, but his shock and anticipation are gone. His eyes are roaming over his prince's body with what he can only assume is want. That's good. Dimitri wants him too. He wonders what he must look like, spread this way on his bed, half-naked and asking to be tied. Convincing, probably, since the next moment Dedue begins to remove his own clothes.

“What should I...” He wonders, looking around his room to find something to restrain his prince with.

“Ah... You can use my cape, or anything. It doesn't need to be solid. I don't intend on moving.”

Dedue's hand freeze as he only opened the vest of his uniform. “V-Very well...” He stands up, lets his uniform vest fall to the ground and picks up the blue cape.

He turns to Dimitri, visibly nervous. Dimitri doesn't hold back the smile spreading on his lips. He wants it to be reassuring for Dedue, he wants it to please Dedue. He can only hope this is what he wants too. That Dedue has fantasies left to be done and that he might realize tonight. Or Dimitri's plan would be quite useless.

But he forgets about any fears when Dedue plants his knees on both sides of his chest and reaches for his wrists. He quickly wraps one end of the fabric around Dimitri's right wrist. It's so delicately done that the prince could not feel it if he tried to. Then, Dedue slides the cape between the bars of the headboard and ties the other end to Dimitri's other wrist. He tries to pull on the restraints a little bit, just to test them. He sees that he could easily slip out of them.

Dimitri feels a hand delicately touching his cheek, directing his eyes back to Dedue. “Are... Are you sure this is what you want?”

Dimitri thinks that this is the moment he has to say what he really planned for the night. Which is absolutely nothing. “What I want is for you to do what you want Dedue...”

Dedue is once again taken aback by his words, but his surprise is soon replaced by desire. “Very well... Dimitri.”

The use of his name tells Dimitri that he is very much on board with the idea. It makes him shiver under his weight. Dedue wants... something, from him. This, at least, is reassuring. He had the worry that maybe, Dedue wanted nothing more from him. But to let him in charge tonight... He cannot wait to see. He cannot wait to feel, and give Dedue absolutely anything he would want to take from him.

The first thing he feels are his lips. They land on his mouth so lightly that all Dimitri wants is raise his face to deepen it. But it would be going against what he wants for the night, and if Dedue wants to be slow and terribly teasing with him, so be it. He makes sure to move only his lips to reply to his kiss. He still takes the initiative to open his mouth to welcome Dedue inside, but he doesn't take his invitation. He keeps his kisses light on each of his lips, rearranging his body above Dimitri's

Dimitri feels hot really quickly, because of Dedue's warm hands put flat against his chest and his thighs straddling his hips... He's convinced Dedue feels the effect his affections have on his body, but he does nothing about it. He kisses his lips, and then lets them trail on his face, to his cheek. He plants a kiss there, then lowers his mouth a little to kiss his jaw, just under his jaw... He places tender kisses on his skin, all the way down his neck and gives a little more attention to the dip of skin above his clavicle. All the while holding his waist with his hands, so no matter if Dimitri tries to buck his hips, he's unable to find any kind of contact with him.

His heart is pounding in his chest, and his respiration is becoming heavier by the second. He is getting so worked by only Dedue's kisses. Each gentle touch of his lips is a sweeter shock through all his being than the previous one. His body reacts with every touch, feeding this ardent fire into him. He moves his legs under Dedue to tries to give himself some comfort but it is useless. He can only stay unmoving and receive what Dedue wants to give him. That was not what he imagined. He thought Dedue would finally take. But if all he truly wants is to cover his body in kisses, and leave him panting and needing... He has to comply. He will take it. Anything Dedue wants.

Dedue continues his path. He kisses his chest, running his hands on the side of his body and assaulting him with only sweet touches of his mouth and affection. It is an attention... too close. Too intimate. One that can only mean adoration. Asking to please him. But that is not right. That is not what Dimitri wanted for tonight. He wanted to be the one covering Dedue with kisses and adoration. He wanted to be the one to please Dedue. He wanted him to feel cherished.

His lips graze his nipple, sending a shock of pleasure down his spine. “Ah... De-Dedue please...”

“Yes...?” Dedue looks up at him, listening.

Dimitri has to bite his tongue to prevent any more words to come out from his mouth. If he says something, Dedue will do it, no matter what he has in mind. He manages to jerkily shake his head and keep his mouth shut. Resisting the urge to ask for him to touch him. Goddess he desperately needs him to touch him without waiting another second. His kisses are too much to handle. This ardent flame growing in his lower stomach and warming his whole body, and this sweetness enveloping his heart and making his mind and body feel weightless... He cannot have them fill him at the sametime. He can only whimper and pray that Dedue has mercy.

He is the kindest man to ever walk the continent, Dimitri thinks when Dedue leaves his chest to slide his undergarment off him. He is already half hard from only Dedue's kisses and caresses. He puts his hands on his thighs and slowly makes his way up, and when he wraps his warm hand around him, he is trembling and fully erect.

Dedue could bring him to his release with his hand, as he did so many times before. But Dimitri was expecting for him to do something a little bit different this time. He still wonders if maybe, that is all Dedue wants. When he can do anything he wants to him and still choose to do the same thing as usual... maybe that is because that is all he wants. Dedue brushes his thumb against the head of his cock, where he is already leaking. A shock of pleasure washes all over his body and he cannot control the reaction of his legs opening up for him.

Dedue's hand stops on his at his reaction, his eyes darkening even more with desire. Dimitri cannot tear his gaze away from his lustful expression, and how much he reacts to this. He is then convinced that he is still holding himself back. “Dedue... I want to know what... what you fantasy about.” He pushes, and just to test him, his feet planted in the mattress, he spreads his legs further apart.

He watches the way Dedue's adam's apple bobs when he swallows, watching the movement. But he seems to take a decision, because his hands leave Dimitri's erect member. He wonders if it was not a bad idea, in the end. He misses Dedue's touch as soon as he leaves him, even as his hands land on his thighs. His thumbs rub circles on the inside of his thighs, contemplative. Dimitri watches him, trying to calm down the trembling of his legs under the touch. Dedue is still dressed in his undershirt and pants. But he can see the bulge on his crotch.

Suddenly, one of his hands traces up, all the way to slip under Dimitri's ass and leaves him gasping. “I... do not wish to do something you wouldn't like.”

“Do what you want. T-Take whatever you want from me.” It's now all Dimitri can repeat, only focused on the feeling of Dedue's warm hands on his cheeks. He pushes his hips up to give him more space to act.

Dedue's finger prods at his entrance, lightly grazing the sensitive area. The feeling shocks through Dimitri and by reflex, he clenches his ass, taking Dedue's warm finger in his hold. “Dedue...” He murmurs.

As reply, Dedue sighs shakily and presses his finger against him with more intent. But not enough to actually slip inside. Dimitri wonders if he really could. His finger feels so solid and warm against his clenched hole. He suddenly doubts that he could put it inside, so to think about his hard member still trapped in his pants...

The contact goes away. Dedue stands up from the bed and disappointment fill the prince still displayed on his bed. Until he sees him slip out of the rest of his clothes and reach for the bottle of healing ointment on his table. He pours a good amount on his fingers before returning to his place between Dimitri's legs. Dimitri can only stare at his full erection and think about how it could not possibly fit into him. Not when he couldn't even fit his dry finger alone.

Until Dedue's finger pushes against his entrance again and he forgets about everything. The tip slides inside easily, breaching the tight rim of muscles slick with the ointment. Dimitri feels so weird with the intrusion. His body clenches around as though to push it away. Or maybe to keep it within, he is not sure. And after a few seconds, Dedue pushes further in. He buries his second knuckle inside of him and slowly makes it his entire finger. When he is done, he looks up to Dimitri who is only breathing hard around the sensation. His finger is so hot and firm inside of him.

“Is... Is this fine?” Dedue checks.

“Yes!” Dimitri nods rapidly. He has no ideas how Dedue can still think about asking him if he is okay with it, when he can so clearly see his desire clouding his eyes. He wants something, so badly. Dimitri will never cease to be amazed by his self control.

Dedue, satisfied with his answer, moves his finger inside of him. His free hand stays on the inside of his thigh and keeps it open, still rubbing tenderly the soft skin. He thrusts his finger in and out of him, slowly at first. It is like nothing Dimitri could have ever imagined. The friction on the inside is building a pressure directly in his core. When Dedue deems it enough, he adds another finger. He has to force a little bit at first and the stretch is more strange than pleasant, but then Dedue repeats the motions and all Dimitri can do is gasp. The pressure slowly morphs into pleasure.

Dedue pushes his two fingers all the way inside of him. His big, warm, calloused fingers. When his hand is pushed against his sensitive ass, trying to reach as deep as possible Dimitri's body jolts with pleasure, more precum leaking from the tip of his now ignored cock. The strange feeling of stretching is gone, as is the pressure. All that is left is an overwhelming pleasure and Dimitri has to clench his jaw. Not say anything. Not ask for more, faster. Not ask for more fingers, for a faster pace, for his hand or his mouth. He cannot say anything. He can only fill the room with the sound of his gasps and cries of pleasure.

Dedue fingers him, slipping in and out of him without ever stopping of losing his rhythm. Suddenly he tries again to push his fingers as deep as possible. He crooks them against his walls, pulls out and then diligently tries again. Each time leave Dimitri moaning. Until one time, he touches something inside him and sends an irresistible pleasure coursing through him. He arches on the bed, his fingers wringing together in an attempt to stay sane under all the maddening pleasure his companion brings to him.

Dedue smiles and repeats the motion, again and again and all Dimitri is able to do is chant his name. His body shakes, powerless around his terrible motions. All Dimitri can think about is how. How Dedue can do such a thing to him. How Dedue can make him feel so much, so intensely. Yet he's aching with his every touches, every thrusts, every sighs with which he replies to him calling his name.

Finally, Dedue puts his free hand on the head of his cock. He only has to rub it to leave Dimitri breathless. “Aaah... Dedue I'm... close!” Dimitri tries to warn him. Dedue slide his thumb on his length and he cannot resist one second longer. He comes in white spurts covering his own chest.

Dedue pulls back a little bit, looking around to clean him. Through the haziness in his mind caused by this very same man, Dimitri knows he does not want that. He gathers all his strength to raise his shaking legs and wraps them around Dedue's middle, effectively trapping him. Dedue snaps his head back to him, and Dimitri doesn't think he has ever seen a man so desperate, so consumed by desire.

“Dedue...” He pants. “Come on, please... Do whatever you want. There is nothing that... That could make me think lowly of you.”

Dimitri swears he can see the fight happening in his mind. His expression slowly settles down. He can only hope the right part of him took the victory in his internal struggle. The part that will finally make him listen to himself.

“T-Then... please excuse me.” Dedue says, sliding his hands on Dimitri's legs.

He untangles them and pushes them on the bed closed together, and Dimitri fears that he will only leave, when he can see how hard and leaking he still is. But he rearranges the way he is kneeling on the bed and puts his hands on his legs again. Next thing Dimitri knows, Dedue pushes his cock between them. He feels his hot and hard members slipping between his thighs. He can perfectly feel his hard shape, so close to where he thought it would never...

He feels too hot, seeing Dedue thrusting against him, using his thighs to bring him to his own climax. It's so hot Dimitri thinks he might get hard again. Just because of the friction between his soft thighs and the occasional rubbing on his spent genitals. Instead he fists the cloth around his wrists and closes his legs as much as possible, electing from Dedue a low groan of pleasure. Dimitri can do nothing more to help him. He lets him use him until his movements become irregular, his grasp on his legs become almost bruising and he comes between his wet thighs.

Dimitri is heaving, trying to calm the beating of his heart. He finally got what he wanted. For Dedue to do what he wanted to him. He feels happy with this new knowledge. So that was what Dedue wanted to do... open him, bring him to his climax with his fingers inside of him, chase his own pleasure between his legs... Despite everything Dimitri feels that there are other things. There was still something struggling to break free in Dedue's gaze. But he thinks that they have later occasions to explore all of his fantasies.

Dedue lets his body recover above Dimitri, breathing slowly. Then he parts his legs gently. He takes a part of his bed's covers and wipes them so softly, as though it was an apology for the rough way he treated them. The sensation of the fur gently grazing his red thighs wrap Dimitri in a gentle warmth that he knows only when Dedue is with him like this. He grasps the blue fabric of his cape still attached around his hands.

When Dedue climbs up his body to untie his bounds, his breath still hot on Dimitri's face, he can only sigh. With contempt and disappointment at the same time. A part of him wouldn't mind staying with his wrists tied to Dedue's bed. It would only be an excuse to stay for the night and enjoy the warmth of his arms once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!  



End file.
